The Detective is Useless (GL) - Chapter 8

Jin Yunjue had already put up nearly a hundred promotional posters the previous day—both in her own residential area and in the neighboring ones. A few posters were still left over; she’d probably paste them later, or use them to replace any that got damaged.

Today, Jin Yunjue planned to hand out flyers. Meanwhile, the person who should have been the most nervous about it was still asleep.

Sometimes Jin Yunjue thought, why is it that the emperor himself isn’t worried, but the eunuch is panicking? But whenever the thought crossed her mind, she’d quickly dismiss it—she had no intention of being anyone’s eunuch.

Just as she was putting the flyers into her bag, the doorbell rang. Her eyes lit up. Could her posters already be working? A client, perhaps?

“Morning, Xiao Jin.”

The moment she opened the door, her expression dimmed—it was Liu Yu. She quickly pulled herself together and smiled.
“Brother Liu, you’re here so early. What brings you over?”

“The coroner’s report confirmed your theory,” Liu Yu said with a smile. “You helped us solve the case.”

“And Sisi? Still asleep?”

“She only went to bed after sunrise. I doubt she’ll wake up easily,” Jin Yunjue replied. She really didn’t understand why it was so hard to sleep at night—forgetting to leave the lights on once in a while wasn’t that serious, was it? Every morning, when Sisi finally dragged herself to bed, no matter how quietly Jin Yunjue tiptoed past the sofa, she still ended up waking the light sleeper.

“Then please tell her—we’ll be celebrating tonight at Corner Bar. You both should come. She knows the time and place.”

“You could just go upstairs and tell her yourself,” Jin Yunjue suggested, secretly hoping Liu Yu would wake that lazy girl up. It wasn’t fair for her to be the only one working hard; an extra pair of hands distributing flyers would really help.

Liu Yu only smiled and shook his head. “No need. Let her rest.”

“Brother Liu, honestly, spoiling Tian Sisi like this isn’t good,” Jin Yunjue frowned. “You know how kids nowadays grow up helpless like greenhouse flowers—it’s because their elders love them too much. Love can turn into harm, you know.”

“She…” Liu Yu hesitated, sighed, and said softly, “She’s had a hard time too. Just let her be. As long as she’s happy.”

“Had a hard time?” Jin Yunjue thought, I’ve had it harder. Came all the way here to prop up a useless brat who doesn’t even want to stand.

“You’re here?” A sleepy voice interrupted her thoughts. Turning around, Jin Yunjue saw Tian Sisi leaning against the wall, half-awake.

“There’s leftover lamb rack in the fridge. You want some? I can heat it up,” Sisi mumbled, letting out a huge yawn. A faint sparkle glinted at the corner of her eye.

Jin Yunjue frowned. That lamb rack’s been sitting in the fridge for two days and she’s offering it to someone else? How shameless.

“No thanks,” Liu Yu said. “You should get more rest—you look exhausted.”

“If you don’t eat it, you’ll regret it. You paid for it, you know. Your poor wallet’s bleeding again,” Sisi teased, rubbing her eyes. She still wanted to crawl back to bed.

Without even taking off his shoes, Liu Yu pulled her aside and whispered, “Sisi, if you don’t want your uncle’s wallet to keep bleeding, maybe try taking on proper cases for once?”

“The detective agency can barely keep running anyway,” Sisi muttered. “Why waste the effort? Those government rewards aren’t easy to get…”

“Shh—keep it down.” Liu Yu glanced nervously toward Jin Yunjue, not wanting her to overhear. “I know you don’t want to be a detective anymore or work on cases, but…” Seeing that Sisi was tuning him out, he sighed. “Since the old man sent someone to help, at least let her try to run the agency properly. Just—don’t tell her about the reward money.”

“She’s not stupid, you know. If she figures out she got paid without doing anything, she’ll find it suspicious,” Sisi said, yawning again. Only an idiot would believe a small case could be solved just because of some ‘forensic support’ or a detective’s comment.

“Sisi!” Liu Yu’s voice rose a little as he pushed her toward the stairs. “Go to sleep, stop spouting nonsense.”

When he turned back, Jin Yunjue looked puzzled. Embarrassed, Liu Yu smiled. “Sisi can be a bit spoiled, but she’s not a bad person. She might say things that upset you, but don’t take it to heart. I’ve already scolded her a bit.”

Jin Yunjue still looked confused, so Liu Yu awkwardly excused himself. “I’d better get back to the station. See you tonight!”

As he hurried off, Jin Yunjue tilted her head. What could they possibly be hiding from me? Do Liu Yu and Tian Sisi share some kind of secret?

She called up the stairs, “Hey, Miss Tian! Since you’re awake, no more sleeping! Come hand out flyers with me!”

To her surprise, Tian Sisi obeyed without a fuss—no need for persuasion. She changed clothes and came downstairs without even asking for breakfast. Did Liu Yu’s scolding actually work? Jin Yunjue wondered. Still, seeing Sisi so compliant brightened her mood. She even bought her a sandwich “for breakfast,” though it was long past morning.

Dragging Tian Sisi along turned out to be the right call—people were far more willing to take flyers from someone cute. The two of them finished distributing everything within two hours.

Jin Yunjue mused, But if they knew this adorable little girl was the actual ‘detective,’ would they still want our help? Maybe it was time to rebrand Sisi’s image.

After finishing, Jin Yunjue kept her promise and accompanied Sisi to the amusement arcade “Happy Land.” Watching Sisi play so cheerfully, she actually felt… maternal? Oh no, she thought, tapping her forehead, I’m not becoming her mom.

Sisi somehow made ten yuan last three whole hours there. Jin Yunjue was genuinely impressed. They only stopped because Sisi got hungry for dinner.

After dinner, Sisi led Jin Yunjue to the Corner Bar—the place Liu Yu had mentioned. It was a quiet bar, good for conversation. Liu Yu and his colleagues were already there.

“This is great!” Sisi said excitedly, grabbing Jin Yunjue’s hand. “Xiao Jinjin, ever since you joined, we’ve solved a case! I haven’t had a drink in ages!”

Of course, that’s the part she focuses on, Jin Yunjue rolled her eyes.

As soon as they sat down, a beer girl approached. Jin Yunjue instinctively shifted away, uncomfortable, while Sisi’s eyes lit up in delight. Apparently, she knew the woman. The beer girl walked up, and Sisi immediately threw her arms around her neck.

“Hi, Sister Xinqi!”

Seeing Jin Yunjue’s puzzled look, Liu Yu explained, “This is Zhao Xinqi—she’s a friend. Her brother was my college classmate.”

Jin Yunjue nodded. So the brother succeeded, but the sister… not so much, she thought privately.

“Long time no see, little Sisi! How about a dozen beers?” Zhao Xinqi said playfully, pinching her cheek.

“Sure! One dozen beers—and two bottles of whiskey!” Sisi said with exaggerated bravado.

Liu Yu tugged at her sleeve. “Sisi, we already ordered.”

“I can still drink more! Relax!” she waved him off.

Jin Yunjue noticed Sisi’s gaze fixed on Zhao Xinqi’s generous chest. Even after the woman left, Sisi’s eyes lingered. Good grief. You’re a woman too, yet you’re ogling her like a pervert, Jin thought.

But that wasn’t the worst of it. Once Sisi got drunk, she started kissing everyone—men, women, whoever was nearby.

When she finally forced a kiss on Jin Yunjue, Jin couldn’t hold back and slapped her hard.

“Wuh—” Sisi clutched her burning cheek, suddenly sober. “That hurt!”

Everyone froze. Jin Yunjue had always seemed gentle; no one expected her to actually slap someone.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Zhao Xinqi said soothingly, stroking Sisi’s cheek and offering her another drink. “Here, have some more.”

That only made Jin Yunjue angrier. Her tone turned icy. “I’m leaving. Excuse me.” She stood and walked out, leaving everyone stunned again.

Sisi pouted pitifully, eyes watery with hurt. Zhao Xinqi comforted her for a long time before Sisi managed a small smile.

Later, when the night wound down, Liu Yu tried to take the drunken Sisi home. But she refused, insisting, “I’m going to the attic!”

“You really don’t want to go home?”

Sisi shook her head furiously. Seeing he couldn’t convince her, Liu Yu gave up. Fine, let her be.

He escorted her to a certain apartment building. Sisi, tipsy but not completely lost, walked on her own, pressing the doorbell repeatedly.

“Xiao Tian?” Lanlan opened the door just in time for Sisi to collapse into her arms. Seeing Liu Yu at a distance, Lanlan called out, “What happened? Why’s she this drunk?”

Liu Yu shrugged and pressed his palms together in a silent plea—please take care of her.

“Anyone else here?” Sisi mumbled loudly.

“If there were guests, I wouldn’t have opened the door,” Lanlan chuckled. “Come on in.”

Sisi leaned all her weight on her. Though Lanlan wasn’t tall, Sisi was so small it wasn’t too hard to carry her to bed.

After laying her down, Lanlan wiped the sweat from her forehead and fetched a damp towel to wipe Sisi’s body. But suddenly Sisi hugged her and giggled.

“The celebration was so fun! Heehee! With her around, Grandpa won’t have to worry about the detective agency closing down!”

“Her? Who?” Lanlan asked.

“Kiss!” Sisi puckered her lips. Lanlan gave her a light peck.

“Heehee, Lanlan didn’t hit me,” Sisi murmured happily.

“Why would I hit you, silly girl?” Lanlan smiled—then noticed a faint scratch on Sisi’s face. “What happened here? Does it hurt?”

“She hit me! Gotta make her cut her nails, haha!” Sisi laughed loudly.

Lanlan shook her head, supporting the swaying girl. “Laughing after getting slapped… you’re really drunk.”

“I wanna sleep…” Sisi pouted.

“Okay, okay. Sleep. I’ll change your clothes—don’t move,” Lanlan said, laying her flat. Sisi fell asleep almost instantly.

Lanlan wiped her down, changed her clothes, and then went to take a shower herself. Feeling refreshed, she returned to bed.

Sisi instinctively moved toward the warmth, curling up against Lanlan. Lanlan just smiled, wrapped an arm around her, and watched as Sisi slept soundly, like a baby in her arms.