The Detective is Useless (GL) - Chapter 9

The attic was Tian Sisi’s safe haven — the place she called her second home.
It wasn’t much: just a tiny unit tucked into the corner of a residential building mockingly nicknamed “the Little Three-Story.” Different people came and went every day.
Even if outsiders looked down on the place, Tian Sisi still loved it — because Lan Lan was there.

That night was probably the earliest she’d gone to sleep in recent days. She’d drunk herself into a daze, but thankfully hadn’t made too much of a fool of herself. Maybe, she could only sleep that soundly after drinking. Who knew if she dreamed — and of whom.

Lan Lan had already been awake for a while.
But with Tian Sisi asleep in her arms, she didn’t dare move, afraid to wake her from a rare, peaceful dream. So she kept still, pretending to sleep, just to let Tian Sisi rest a little longer.

Lan Lan thought back — when was the last time Tian Sisi got drunk? It had been ages.
Wasn’t Liu Yu the one who told her to quit drinking? Said she couldn’t touch alcohol again?
And now she was drinking again — and passing out completely. Why?

Lan Lan turned her head, looking at the sleeping girl.
This child always made her heart ache.
She remembered, long ago, she used to hate Tian Sisi — hated her arrogance, her stubbornness, that self-satisfied smirk.
But she never expected that, years later, they’d become close friends — that she’d feel protective of her.
Maybe, deep down, Lan Lan missed the old Tian Sisi — the short little girl who still managed to give off the presence of a giant.
But some things just don’t come back.
Time never reverses.

“Sisi,” Tian Sisi murmured, rubbing against her arms and mumbling in a husky voice,
“Morning…”

Lan Lan brushed Tian Sisi’s messy bangs aside and asked softly,
“Headache?”

“A little, hehe.” Tian Sisi squinted and smiled.

Lan Lan got up, poured her a glass of water in the kitchen, and fetched some hangover medicine.
When she brought them back, Tian Sisi sat up obediently, swallowed the pill, and drained the water — behaving unusually well.

“Oh right,” Lan Lan said, “next time you come over, bring a few more sets of clothes to leave here. The ones here are too old.”

“Oh, okay.”
Tian Sisi glanced down at what she was wearing.
Lan Lan must’ve changed her clothes for her last night…
And now that she looked closely, these clothes were at least three or four years old — the white shirt had turned almost cream.

She still looked half-drunk.
Lan Lan took the chance to wash up before calling Tian Sisi to brush her teeth and face. Then Lan Lan went to make breakfast.

When Tian Sisi opened the closet, she took out her own shirt and jeans.
As she pulled the jeans up, she looked down — her stomach… had gotten rounder.
She managed to button them, but they felt tight, and she had to suck in her belly.
She patted her stomach and sighed. Weren’t these just snug a few months ago?

She pouted as she walked into the living room — but the smell of food made her smile again.
Who cares about dieting? What’s the point of suffering? Eat now, deal with it later!

It was her favorite — macaroni with corn, ham, and egg.
Every time she came here, Lan Lan made it for her.
Tian Sisi ate happily, and Lan Lan couldn’t help smiling too.
Then, remembering last night’s drunken rambling, Lan Lan asked,
“Sisi, who’s that ‘she’ you mentioned last night?”

“Which ‘she’?” Tian Sisi looked up, blinked, and went back to eating.

“You said something about, ‘With her around, Grandpa doesn’t need to worry about the detective agency collapsing,’ or something like that.”

Tian Sisi thought for a second, waved it off, and said,
“Oh that — Grandpa’s new assistant, Jin Yunjue. Liu Yu even called her the wrong name at first — ‘Ge Junyu’! I laughed so hard!”
It was such a complicated name that Lan Lan couldn’t even picture how to write the surname Jin.

After breakfast, Tian Sisi lingered a bit before glancing at the time.
She had to go back to the detective agency.
Opening her wallet, she looked helplessly at Lan Lan.
“Lan Lan, I only have ten bucks left…”

“It’s fine,” Lan Lan smiled, fetched twenty from her room, and handed it to her.
“For your bus fare.”

“Hehe, see, Lan Lan’s the best!” Tian Sisi giggled, nuzzling Lan Lan before heading off.

She liked sitting on the upper deck of the bus, right at the front — panoramic view.
Though most of the time, all she saw were other cars’ butts.

After getting off, she walked slowly home. Her head still throbbed, but the breeze helped clear it.

When she reached the agency and opened the door, she heard rapid slap-slap-slap — slippers smacking against the floor.
She turned to close the door — and Jin Yunjue appeared right in front of her.

Jin rubbed her neck awkwardly, looking like she wanted to say something but couldn’t.
Tian Sisi changed into her slippers and waited.
Finally, Jin turned away and muttered,
“Fine, hitting you yesterday was my fault. But you kissing people out of nowhere was wrong too! And running away from home? That’s not okay! I have a boyfriend, you know — you can’t just do things like that!”

Tian Sisi clicked her tongue and headed upstairs without a word.
As if she’d believe Jin had a boyfriend!
Women with boyfriends were glued to their phones, talking nonstop.
Jin didn’t act like that at all.
What a lousy excuse. Not worth replying to.

“Hey! You’re so rude!” Jin shouted after her.
Tian Sisi just waved her hand dismissively.

Bathing always made her happy — nothing beat the feeling of being clean.
Come to think of it, if Jin hadn’t reminded her, she might’ve forgotten that Jin had actually slapped her yesterday.
Remembering it now, Tian Sisi smirked mischievously.

While Jin worked on her laptop at the dining table, Tian Sisi tiptoed past, heading quietly for the door.

“Tian,” Jin called out, “you just got back — where are you sneaking off to?”

“Where I came from, I shall return. Dust to dust, ashes to ashes, amen,” Tian Sisi said, pressing her palms together dramatically.

“Going to see that Aqi guy again?” Jin frowned, thinking she was off to play games.

“Can’t reveal heavenly secrets, my friend.” Tian Sisi grinned, slipping on her shoes.

“Go, go — and drop the fake monk act!” Jin rolled her eyes.
Such a ridiculous brat.

As soon as Tian Sisi closed the door, Jin’s curiosity kicked in.
Where was she really going?
If she was seeing Aqi again, Jin had to stop her — to “reform” her properly, she’d have to start by breaking her gaming habit.
No more talk — action!
Jin grabbed her bag and keys, changed shoes, and hurried after her.

Luckily, Tian Sisi walked slowly, so Jin managed to keep her in sight.

She trailed her for over twenty minutes to an old tong lau — one of those aging Chinese tenements.
No elevator.
Jin, who barely exercised, was already winded after three flights.
To stay hidden, she had to climb even more carefully — which only made it worse.

On the fourth floor, she suddenly heard Tian Sisi say,
“Hey, long time no see!”
Jin peeked out — no one there.
Then Tian Sisi said,
“Really? Then send him my congratulations! I’ll get going.”
Jin frowned — she’d seen Tian Sisi alone the whole time.
Who was she talking to?

A chill ran down her spine.
The lights in the stairwell began to flicker — on and off, on and off.
Remembering Tian Sisi’s one-sided “conversation,” Jin’s scalp tingled.
Her pulse jumped. She turned and bolted down the stairs.
She had to get out — now.

Hiding in the shadows nearby, Tian Sisi doubled over laughing.
Oh, the fun of pranking that uptight Jin!
She laughed until her sides hurt, then finally stopped, turning off the remote-control app on her phone.
The stairwell lights came back on — bright and steady again.

Hehe — she really had to thank Aqi for installing that system for her convenience.
Energy-saving by day, motion-controlled lights by night — and he’d even taught the elderly neighbors how to use the app!
Though, well, they only had funds to install it on two floors…

If only Jin knew — the phone she’d bought for Tian Sisi was now being used to prank her.
What a mischievous child — totally deserved a spanking.

Tian Sisi didn’t come home until night.
When she saw the strange look in Jin’s eyes, she knew — Jin had totally believed it was a ghost.
She snickered inwardly.
Alright, she’d let her stew for a day before confessing the truth tomorrow.

Dinner, shower — business as usual.
Maybe it was the lingering hangover, or maybe she’d gamed too hard at Aqi’s place, but this time, Tian Sisi went to bed early.
She hated the dark, so she left her bedside lamp on —
and scared the daylights out of Jin, who woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom.

Jin froze.
Tian Sisi was sitting at the edge of her bed, mumbling softly.
Jin couldn’t hear what she was saying, but her lips moved, her hands gestured — like she was talking to someone invisible.

Oh God.
After yesterday’s scare, now this?!
Jin’s heart nearly stopped.
Her urge to pee vanished instantly.
So Tian Sisi could see spirits?!
Why hadn’t Grandpa Tian told her?!
He must’ve kept it secret — worried she’d refuse the assignment if she knew.
Poor Jin, stuck here with a girl who could talk to ghosts.

She yanked the blanket over her head, muttering,
“If you do no evil, you’ll fear no ghosts… if you do no evil…”
But she was terrified.
She pulled the blanket tighter.
If she couldn’t see the ghost, the ghost couldn’t see her — right? Right?!

But Tian Sisi wasn’t faking this time.
Her sleepwalking had relapsed — and Jin just happened to witness it.

Poor Jin.
Tian Sisi’s sleepwalking hadn’t acted up in ages — months, even.
It was just bad timing that it happened now, right after Jin had been spooked once already.

Maybe reciting something holy would calm her nerves?
Eyes shut tight, Jin began to whisper,
“Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name…”

Wait — wasn’t that the Lord’s Prayer?