The Eleventh Year of Secretly Loving Her - Chapter 8

Zhong Xiran was pressed into his embrace, her hands against his chest, feeling the scorching heat radiating into her palms.

She spoke awkwardly, “How am I supposed to explain this…? Let me go first, and we can talk after you take a shower.”

Her fair, translucent cheeks instantly flushed a rosy pink, the color creeping up to her neck, making it hard for anyone to look away.

Qi Sinian’s hand lightly traced her waist, as if offering some subtle suggestion.

Her lips felt a bit dry, so she turned her face and pushed him gently. “I’m thirsty, I want some water. Go take your shower first…”

He thought for a moment, then loosened his grip, and she immediately slipped away.

With a bang, she closed the bathroom door, touching her flushed cheeks and fanning herself.

She took a bottle of mineral water from the fridge and pressed it against her face, gradually calming down after a long moment.

Qi Sinian’s body was truly impressive; his abs and oblique lines were even more defined than those of male celebrities, exuding pure testosterone.

She sat on the sofa in a daze, then suddenly heard the water in the bathroom stop and froze.

The previous scene had been mortifying. Seeing Qi Sinian about to come out, Zhong Xiran acted on impulse, grabbed a sleepwear from the wardrobe, and went upstairs to shower.

She took her time, relishing the chance to delay for a while.

By the time she finished, Qi Sinian had probably already forgotten most of what had happened.

After drying her hair and completing her full skincare routine, more than an hour had passed.

She pushed the door open and cautiously tiptoed downstairs.

Qi Sinian was sitting on the living room sofa, holding a cigarette between his fingers.

Hearing the noise, he flicked the ash from his cigarette and looked up at her. “I thought you planned to live there.”

Zhong Xiran: “…”

The words were clearly sarcastic, yet his tone was flat, softening the mockery and adding a hint of playfulness.

Qi Sinian continued, “Come here.”

Zhong Xiran pursed her lips and obediently walked over, sitting beside him.

Qi Sinian extinguished the cigarette, showing no intention of touching her, and said calmly, “Finish what you were going to say earlier.”

Zhong Xiran nervously twirled a strand of hair on her chest and said, “I more or less already said it. How foolish must I seem to you, still holding onto someone after being dumped?”

She continued, “Am I someone who acts foolishly in love?” 

Qi Sinian glanced at her; he didn’t speak, but his eyes clearly said yes.

Suddenly remembering the time she had failed to elope and he had dragged her back, Zhong Xiran fell silent.

After a few quiet seconds, Qi Sinian seemed to try to ease her embarrassment. “At least you’re not now.”

Zhong Xiran: “…”

She thought it might have been better if he hadn’t said anything.

Zhong Xiran, “I wasn’t like that back then either… I…”

She paused. “Forget it. What happened back then is in the past; there’s nothing to discuss. The reason I went to see Huo Xin this time is because…”

She suddenly didn’t know how to put it into words.

Qi Sinian waited quietly.

After a moment, Zhong Xiran said, “Do you know what I mean by a sense of ceremony?”

Qi Sinian, “Roughly.”

Looking at his figure on the TV screen in the living room, she whispered, “I’m probably someone who values ritual or closure. Back then, he left without saying a word, and I always felt…”

Her voice dropped, “…like I didn’t get a proper goodbye.”

Qi Sinian waited a few seconds and said calmly, “So you feel regret and want to see him.”

“That’s not it.” She immediately clarified, “I don’t feel any regret toward him. I went to see him to give my past self some closure.”

Qi Sinian didn’t respond, seemingly trying to understand her.

A few minutes later, he lifted his eyelids and looked at her. “Then why did you hide it from me? Were you afraid I wouldn’t let you see him?”

“Of course not, I didn’t know you would be so…” Zhong Xiran hesitated for a long moment before finally saying, “…mature and magnanimous.”

Qi Sinian: “…”

“I just thought it’s better not to stir up trouble, after all, we aren’t exactly… that close.” Her voice grew softer by the end.

Qi Sinian raised an eyebrow.

He got up and walked toward the bedroom. “You’ve had a long day, too. Rest now.”

Being tired was one thing, but Zhong Xiran was mainly hungry; she hadn’t eaten properly for the past two days.

It was late, and Qi Sinian hadn’t been sleeping well either. She didn’t want to cause more trouble, so she followed him into the bedroom.

They each lay on their half of the bed, under separate thin blankets, not saying a word.

The quiet air was filled only with the sound of their breathing.

This was how they had slept together before, too. Without interfering with each other, and Zhong Xiran had long grown accustomed to it.

But tonight, she found it hard to fall asleep.

She felt that their earlier conversation hadn’t truly ended; she still owed him an apology.

After a moment, Zhong Xiran tentatively called out, “Qi Sinian.”

“What is it?” His voice was low and deep.

She took a deep breath in the darkness. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have kept it from you and caught you off guard like this.”

Qi Sinian replied evenly, “Not exactly caught off guard.”

Zhong Xiran turned on the bedside lamp, and the soft, warm light illuminated Qi Sinian’s face.

She sat up slightly, propping herself on her arms, and suddenly asked, “Why did you help me so much today?”

Qi Sinian opened his eyes.

He removed his glasses; his eyes looked softer, though his voice remained calm. “What do you think?”

Zhong Xiran pressed her lips together. “From now on, I’ll be a good wife and won’t embarrass you anymore.”

Qi Sinian’s expression remained indifferent. “Good. Just knowing that’s enough.”

He closed his eyes again.

Seeing his blanket edge slightly askew, Zhong Xiran recalled what she had just said about being a good wife. She reached out to pull the blanket over him, but as she moved away, her hand gave out, and she tumbled onto Qi Sinian.

She immediately tried to spring back up, but Qi Sinian pressed her down again.

His palm rested on her back, his gaze deepening slightly. “Are you planning to make amends to me this way?”

“No, I…” Her words unintentionally sounded like she was resisting yet inviting.

She lay down on him, tracing his collar with her fingers. “Just consider this me making amends, okay?”

After all, he did like her body.

Qi Sinian’s voice was husky. “That depends on whether you’re sincere.”

Zhong Xiran: “…”

She was already beginning to regret it.