The End of First Love - Chapter 1

“Elizabeth, be happy.”

These were the last words my mother left behind before she was taken to heaven.

In the pure white coffin, surrounded by beautiful flowers, my mother looked as though she were merely sleeping.

(Why is she sleeping in such a place?)

Seeing the sorrowful faces of the adults gathered around the coffin, I couldn’t bring myself to voice that question. I truly believed that by tomorrow, this nightmare-like day would disappear, and my ordinary life would return. To the young Elizabeth, my mother, who was always by my side, was someone special. Accepting her death so easily was impossible.

Back then, I couldn’t even comprehend that my mother had died.

“Hey, why isn’t Mommy here?”

“I want Mommy to read me a book.”

Every time I let out such words, the adults around me would grimace in pain. Little by little, I began to realize the truth, and my world died. Red, yellow, blue, green… the vibrant world I once knew turned to gray.

The gardens and greenhouses I walked through with my mother—even the beautifully blooming flowers now seemed faded.

The colors were disappearing from the world. My emotions drained away, and eventually, my heart stopped moving.

(A world without Mommy…)

Kneeling at the edge of a dark, stagnant pond, the young Elizabeth peered into its depths. Reflected there was a girl with silver hair and sapphire-blue eyes.

(She looks like the bisque doll Father gave me…)

The girl’s eyes reflected in the water showed no emotion. Though I saw my own face in the mirror every day, it felt as though I were looking at a stranger.

A droplet fell into the pond, creating ripples that spread across the surface. Elizabeth watched, puzzled.

(—I’m crying…)

As the face in the water disappeared, I reached a small hand to my cheek and found it wet.

“Why did you leave me? Why, why… I can’t be happy without you, Mommy.”

The cries of my heart were swallowed by the dark, stagnant pond and vanished.

(Mommy, Mommy… I want to see you—)

My body leaned forward, drawn into the pond. The cold water stole my warmth, and I couldn’t move.

But it was fine. If I sank like this, my wish would be granted.

(Finally, I’ll see Mommy…)

“Elizabeth, my dear angel—” My mother’s voice echoed in my mind as I felt her gently stroke my head. A smile formed on my face. At the same time, bubbles escaped my mouth and raced upward through the dark, murky water.

The weight of the water clinging to my body, the distant world of light fading away—none of it mattered anymore. To Elizabeth, death was not frightening.

(Soon, I’ll see Mommy…)

Slowly, my eyes closed, and I was enveloped in darkness. My senses faded away.

As my consciousness sank into the abyss, just as everything seemed about to end, my world resurfaced.

“Hey! Stay with me!!”

A distant voice echoed, and the world around me was a blurry gray.

(Is this… heaven?)

In my hazy vision, I looked around but couldn’t find my mother.

(This isn’t heaven. If I jump into that pond again, I’ll see Mommy.)

As I reached out toward the pond, driven by the despair in my heart, a strong force pulled me back, and I was slapped across the cheek.

“You can’t… die…”

A figure suddenly appeared before me, shaking my shoulders, and my consciousness began to clear.

(…A boy?)

“…Let me go.”

“Let you go? Don’t be ridiculous! What do you think your life is worth?”

“Let go! I want to see Mommy!! If I jump into the pond, I’ll see her… Let me go!!!!”

The boy, who had grabbed me from behind as I struggled, shouted.

“Don’t throw your life away! Your family… they’ll be sad…”

His powerful words struck my ears, seeping into my mind and shaking my heart.

“Everyone… will be sad?”

“That’s right. Everyone will be sad… if you die.”

Images of my father, my brother, my nanny… the faces of the people I cared about raced through my mind, and the world that had been dominated by my mother’s absence began to change.

(If I die, everyone will be sad? I’ll put the people I love in the same situation I’m in now…)

His words etched themselves into my heart. My heart, which had been still, began to beat again.

(What a terrible thing I was about to do…)

As I became aware of my own sinfulness, the gray world began to shine with vibrant colors.

Tears welled up in Elizabeth’s eyes, blurring her vision. She turned to look behind her, but the world, now filled with golden light, was too bright to see.

“—Who… are you?”

Through her tear-blurred vision, she couldn’t see him clearly.

“Me? I’m——”

Before she could hear his name, Elizabeth’s consciousness faded to black. All that remained in her memory was the golden light she saw when she was saved and the desperate voice that had called out to her—