The Evil Empress Adores Me - Chapter 79

Truth be told, I’ve had a lot of physical contact with Damian. 

 

There were times when we held hands, changed clothes, and hugged each other. 

 

But not in this way…

 

‘I don’t think he’s ever hugged me so affectionately.’

 

It’s weird. 

 

My mouth became dry and my heart was pounding. 

 

A new heat spread over my face which was already flushed from crying. 

 

Confused, I buried my face in Damian’s arms. 

 

What is this?

 

“Every time you…I think I can only apologize.”

 

His soft voice caressed my ear. 

 

His steady heartbeat calmed my stressed mind. 

 

“Once again, I’m sorry I could only tell you not to worry.”

 

“…I, your Highness.”

 

“But…this is the best I can do at the moment.”

 

Damian calmly vocalized his intentions. 

 

“I’m leaving.”

 

“…what do you mean!”

 

“This way, I can avoid causing harm to anyone.”

 

Unbeknownst to me, Damian seemed to have his heart set on this. 

 

“And isn’t it time for me to be able to stand on my own two feet, without having to depend on you and Her Majesty?”

 

“What?”

 

I was so wide-eyed that I stopped crying. 

 

Damian gave a playful smile. 

 

“You’ll see, I’ll come back as a better man.”

 

“Stop, a better man?”

 

“Yeah. Don’t fall for me when I come back.”

 

Damian joked away. 

 

…it’s unsettling how Damian can just laugh in a situation like this. 

 

Looking at him blankly, I bit my lip and gulped back the tears. 

 

It’s as if Damian had already made up his mind…

 

‘I’m a fool for crying and being hung up on this.’

 

In desolation, I leaned on him without saying another word. 

 

I didn’t want to bother Damian anymore with my foolishness.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

After shedding tears for a while, I got up. 

 

“Take a break, you must be worn out from all that crying.”

 

Damian tried to dissuade me, but I shook my head. 

 

It was because it hurts now to even look at Damian’s face. 

 

With a feeble gait, I entered the Empress’s palace. 

 

Meanwhile. 

 

“…Lize?”

 

The Empress’s voice echoed. 

 

Those dark green eyes of hers were taken aback. 

 

“Y-Your Majesty.”

 

I called out to the Empress in a trembling voice. 

 

At the same time, tears began rolling down my cheeks. 

 

Even though I had cried so much before, there were still tears left. 

 

The Empress rushed over to me and bent down as my sniffles became louder and I wasn’t able to speak clearly. 

 

“What’s going on Charlize? Your face is colorless,” asked the Empress in a worried tone. 

 

“I-It’s…”

 

I couldn’t get the words out. 

 

It’s because the very second I say the words, ‘Damian’s leaving.’ It could become a reality set in stone.

 

I just couldn’t bring myself to say it. 

 

I knew Damian leaving was something already decided but like an idiot, I…

 

“Didn’t I tell you the other day, the day when you rejected the adoption?”

 

The Empress tenderly rubbed my back as she opened her lips. 

 

“If you’re going through a rough time, talk to me about it.”

 

“…your Majesty.”

 

“So tell me what happened. Who knows, I might just have the solution?”

 

As soon as the Empress’s sweet and reassuring voice reached my ears, words poured forth as if a dam had just burst. 

 

“Well, his Highness…he’s going to the Kier plains in the north.”

 

“Hold on, Kier? You mean the northern Kier plains?”

 

“Yes. His Majesty, the Emperor has given him an order to……to leave for the Kier plains.”

 

The news shook the Empress as a startled expression crept over her face. 

 

I grabbed onto the collar of the Empress’s dress in a fit of temper. 

 

“I-I know I’m incompetent for this…I couldn’t get the order withdrawn.”

 

“Why does that make you incompetent?”

 

“The news that he was leaving for Kier…er, I couldn’t stop him.”

 

With a voice muddled by tears, I gurgled hopelessly. 

 

“It’s not even the territory of Margrave Antes but Kier of all places.” 

 

“Lize.”

 

“Everyone knows. There are only demonic beasts in Kier, and very few soldiers who’ve managed to survive for more than a year there…”

 

“I know you’re emotional, but calm down a little.”

 

The Empress tried to console me, but it was all in vain. 

 

“His Highness will go to that dangerous place…what if something happens to him?”

 

In the end, I cried so much that I had trouble breathing. 

 

The Empress hastily embraced me in her arms. 

 

I grasped the Empress’s collar tightly. 

 

“Can’t I do anything for his Highness?”

 

“…it’s.”

 

“I’ve been thinking about it, but I have no idea what to do…” I muttered to the Empress. 

 

What am I supposed to do?

 

I hate, hate myself for being so powerless. 

 

I decided to stay by Damian’s side, and yet there’s nothing I can do about this predicament.

 

I bit my lips till they bled, lowering my head to the floor in despair. 

 

Meanwhile, the Empress signed and added. 

 

“If you’re so sad about it, how will Her Majesty, the Empress dowager feel about this…”

 

“*sniffles* what?”

 

“Don’t you know? The Empress dowager still hasn’t been allowed to see her grandchild face to face and now he’s leaving.”

 

For a moment, I froze. 

 

Empress dowager…

 

I was so engrossed in my misery, I didn’t even think of the situation her Majesty was in. 

 

Damian and the Empress dowager haven’t spoken in nearly five years…

 

I only saw her face once during the harvest festival. 

 

At the time, Her Majesty, the Empress dowager had such a vivid expression in her eyes. 

 

Her wrinkled eyes conveyed so much joy and sorrow. 

 

Damian for a long time, couldn’t take his eyes off her. 

 

After thinking for a moment, I roughly wiped the corners of my eyes with my sleeves. 

 

“Charlize? What’s the matter?”

 

The Empress looked at me with a surprised look at my sudden change in expression. 

 

“…I can’t keep crying like this while the crown prince leaves.”

 

I gritted my teeth. 

 

I hate not being able to do anything. I feel so guilty.  

 

But in this situation, all I can do is…

 

“Your Majesty, the Empress?”

 

“What is it, Charlize?”

 

“Can I ask you a favor?”

 

The Empress who heard the determined tone in my question smiled softly. 

 

“I told you before.”

 

The Empress spoke while slowly stroking my swollen eyes with her fingers. 

 

“If you’re having problems, lean on me and we’ll discuss it anytime.”

 

Oh. 

 

I blinked my eyes. 

 

This was when-

 

When I declined the Duke’s offer, the Empress said this to me. 

 

And…

 

“I said I wanted to be your strength, remember?”

 

Her voice was as warm as a spring breeze.

 

I couldn’t resist getting emotional when I heard that.

 

“….yes, I remember,” I said as I nodded my head with tears welling up. 

 

“So, what can I do to help?”

 

“I…”

 

I took a deep breath and spoke with resolve. 

 

“Before the crown prince leaves the palace, I want to make sure he meets the Empress dowager.”

 

“…is that all?”

 

After a while. 

 

The Empress tilted her head. 

 

“If you want, you can ask me for a little more.”

 

“…..do you want me to ask you for more?”

 

“Yes. Something along the lines of ‘Don’t send the crown prince to the Kier plains,’ or something like that.”

 

After pondering for a moment, I turned down Her Majesty’s offer. 

 

“No, that’s all.”

 

The Empress raised an eyebrow at my reply. 

 

Of course, I wanted the same thing. 

 

But. 

 

“I cherish the crown prince as much as her Majesty, the Empress.”

 

“….Charlize.”

 

“To have the crown prince and the Empress dowager meet is one thing, but preventing the crown prince from going…”

 

I bit my lips.

 

“That’s something else.”

 

The former was the deep bond between family members, it could be excused. 

 

The latter, however, could be deemed as rebelling against the Emperor. 

 

And since Damian mentioned he wanted to avoid causing harm to anyone.

 

“His Highness seems to have made up his mind.”

 

“…..is that so?”

 

“Yes. He’s leaving…just like he said.”

 

It felt like something pierced my heart upon saying that, but I managed to keep it together. 

 

“So I just…I’d like to give both of them the chance to finally meet.”

 

“…..yes, I see.”

 

The Empress who had been looking at me for a while nodded.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

The next day. 

 

Having spent the entire night wide awake, I went to the Empress dowager’s palace as soon as dawn broke. 

 

Her Majesty greeted me with a warm and pleasant smile. 

 

“Oh my, Charlize. What’s going on?”

 

Seeing her peaceful face, I felt my heart throbbing.

 

….maybe, she doesn’t know anything yet. 

 

It was difficult to tell her, to get the words out of my mouth.  

 

“Well, your Majesty, the Empress dowager.”

 

“Go on.”

 

“The crown prince….he’ll soon be heading to the northern plains of Kier.”

 

“….what?”

 

In an instant, the Empress dowager’s smile vanished, replaced by a rigid expression. 

 

“You can’t mean…the Kier plains?”

 

“It’s….”

 

I explained the whole story. 

 

That Damian had been given an order yesterday. 

 

I told her how the Emperor had sent for Damian to leave within a week after being notified. 

 

The schedule itself hinted at its urgency. 

 

Lastly, for this undertaking, there wouldn’t be a guarantee when Damian will be back. 

 

“…no, no.”

 

The Empress dowager who heard my recollection shook her head with a weary expression.