The Family Head of This Generation (Girls' Love) - Chapter 18

In this life, I have missed many things and gained many things. I have loved someone I shouldn’t have, and I have failed to save someone I wanted to save. If I had another life…

I was eighteen then, at the age of innocence and liveliness, with a kind father, a beautiful mother, and a gentle and benevolent brother. At that time, I was happy.

I was once so proud, like a high-soaring phoenix in the sky, accepting the worship and aspirations of the world.

I was born into a prestigious family with outstanding talent. My father once said that I would break through to Martial Saint within a hundred years and become the youngest Martial Saint of the Zhao family. But in the end, I disappointed my father. I abandoned my identity as a martial artist, only to be able to approach her openly one day…

Meeting Shang Luo was the happiest thing in this life, and falling in love with Shang Luo was the most painful thing in this life. Decades have passed, and I can still hear your gentle and caring voice from when we first met echoing in my ears: “Little sister, don’t be afraid. I am Shang Luo. This is Southern Xinjiang. The bad guys who kidnapped you have been chased away by my master. I will take you home!”

Looking at the gentle and elegant woman before me, I felt an inferiority complex for the first time—inferior because of Shang Luo’s beauty, and inferior because of Shang Luo’s excellence. She was graceful and noble, with a saintly temperament, just like the fairy described in books, so beautiful.

And I, at that time, was very rebellious, even more insane than Zhao Ziyan today. I was proud and passionate, not hesitating to betray the Zhao family, giving up my identity as a martial artist, entering a world I had never touched, becoming a Gu cultivator in Southern Xinjiang, and becoming her junior sister…

At that time, I was young and persistent, frantically chasing her shadow, wildly obsessed with her beautiful face. I chased and gradually lost myself. I rebelliously thought that if I annoyed her, her gaze would forever stay on me.

But in the end…

Ten days, one month, one year passed without seeing her… Perhaps I scared her away! I thought so.

But eventually, I found out the truth.

The woman I was madly pursuing had someone she loved. That person, like her, was gentle and elegant. They looked very compatible together. Watching their accompanying figures, I suffered, I was heartbroken. I wanted to snatch her away, to a place where no one else was, and I wanted her to be my wife.

During the days they spent together, I returned to Southern Xinjiang, frantically slaughtering the invading demon race, just to forget the pain in my heart.

But in the end, I still smiled and offered my blessings because that man was my dearest brother. How could I bear to take away the happiness that belonged to my brother…

I cried and told myself that she didn’t love me; she loved my brother. Even if I snatched her away, she wouldn’t fall in love with me, so I should just give up!

Enduring the agonizing pain, I smiled and offered my blessings. I personally covered her with the red veil, personally sent her into the sedan chair, and personally handed her over to my dearest brother. On the day of the wedding, I left the Zhao family and never returned…

The next time I heard about her was ten years later. At twenty-eight, I was no longer the crazy and proud Zhao Wenxiu of the past. Time had eroded my pride and my madness. I had matured, experienced too much, and lost too much. Without relying on the Zhao family, I still successfully established myself in Southern Xinjiang and built a force that belonged to me.

When we met again, things had changed drastically. I rushed back to the Zhao family from Southern Xinjiang and saw the white mourning hall set up and her, weak and fragile, kneeling before the altar. It was the first time in my life I regretted it. If I hadn’t left the Zhao family back then, perhaps I could have supported a sky for her, not letting her suffer so much. But in the end, I had left without a second thought.

Knowing the truth of my brother’s death, I hated a person so much for the first time. Yet, I couldn’t kill her; I even had to meticulously guide her, simply because she was the daughter of my brother and her, the last bloodline of the Zhao family.

I loathed that small child. If it weren’t for her existence, my brother wouldn’t have entered that terrifying secret realm to find the spiritual medicine to reconnect her meridians. For a cripple, my brother excessively burned his life force until he dried up and died. It was that child; she killed my brother! I looked at that child with resentment, resenting that child for making Shang Luo suffer for a lifetime. If it weren’t for that child, my brother and Shang Luo would have been an immortal couple for life.

…

I volunteered to be that child’s tutor. Shang Luo was very relieved. She was immersed in the grief of her husband’s passing, unable to teach the child. Perhaps Shang Luo also couldn’t accept that her husband had died for her daughter. I smoothly brought that child back to Southern Xinjiang. Haha, I was crazy.

I played tricks on that child, bullied her. Using the identity of a tutor, I openly ridiculed her. Seeing the hatred in the eyes of that small child toward me, I felt a twisted pleasure, as if I had avenged my brother.

Hahaha…

Bullying a cripple who couldn’t cultivate actually eased the pain in my heart slightly. Hahaha, I truly was perverted. From then on, I became addicted to alcohol. When drunk, I could bully her without any burden.

Fleeting time, that child was already fourteen. At fourteen, she was so much like my past self—equally proud, equally crazy. She had grown up. I couldn’t continue to bully her, I told myself! Hahaha, but having bullied her for so long, it became a habit.

The first time that child resisted my violence, I was very surprised. I consoled myself, telling myself that the child was still under my control, just resisting slightly because she had been bullied too hard.

The second time she resisted, I was furious, angrily thinking that the child wanted to escape my control. Using the convenience of teaching her martial skills, I severely beat her. Watching her spit up bl00d from the beating yet remaining silent, I was satisfied. That child was still in my hands.

The third time she resisted, she learned how to leverage her influence. It was I who taught her. She learned very quickly. When I wanted to continue bullying her, she had already successfully gained the recognition of the ancestral land, no longer just a Zhao Family Head with an empty title and no authority. Hahaha, seeing the child who had been tainted and grown up under my tutelage, I was very happy. She was my most proud disciple, even though she couldn’t cultivate.

Then, the nightmare came…

That child seemed to know about my love for Shang Luo. She used my love for Shang Luo to ridicule me, target me, and retaliate against me again and again. I felt humiliated, but I couldn’t retaliate. Hearing her slightly immature voice calling me shameless for falling in love with my sister-in-law, haha, retribution came so quickly. Although that child couldn’t cultivate, her mind was terrifyingly mature. In her harsh mockery and sarcasm, I fled in panic.

The next time we met, she was already sixteen. Hearing that she had attempted suicide by drowning, I rushed back from Southern Xinjiang in panic. She was Shang Luo’s only child. If anything happened to her, Shang Luo would probably follow that child. During the few years I stayed with the Zhao family, I personally witnessed Shang Luo’s doting love for that child. If something truly happened to that child, I didn’t dare to think further. I hurried back, afraid that, like eleven years ago, the Zhao family would be setting up a white mourning hall.

Thankfully, I made it in time. The Ancestor personally took action. The Zhao Family Ancestor had not left the ancestral land for a whole millennium, yet that child made the Ancestor break his rule to personally save her. “Child of Destiny” was such a ridiculous reason. When my brother’s life force was exhausted, my father personally begged the Ancestor, but the Ancestor completely ignored him. If the Ancestor had been willing to save my brother, my brother would definitely have lived.

I looked at the pale girl on the bed with jealousy. I was jealous of Shang Luo’s love for her, jealous of the Zhao Ancestor’s special treatment of her, and even more resentful that her life was exchanged for my brother’s, and yet she didn’t cherish it.

That girl quickly became lively and vigorous again. Like before, she caused trouble everywhere, but I distinctly felt that she had changed, becoming more adept at concealing her emotions. Although the previous Zhao Ziyan had been able to control her emotions well under my guidance, she was still too young. But the current Zhao Ziyan had become even calmer, making her thoughts subtly hard to guess. How could a person change so quickly? Could it be that she wasn’t the same person?

But then, I found it laughable again. I had been dominant in Southern Xinjiang for twenty years. My judgment of people and things was already incredibly accurate. I was overthinking it. That child was indeed my niece. Perhaps she was just more mature after dying once!

The Heaven’s Secret Realm opened, and I entered with that child. The reason was to protect her, but more so for the Martial Venerable’s legacy. How important was the Martial Venerable’s legacy? So important that every named and known powerful individual on the Cang Kui Continent came to the Heaven’s Secret Realm to search for it, just to know the secret of breaking through from Martial God to Martial Venerable?

I was no exception. Although I was only a Gu Saint, at least a hundred years away from breaking through to Martial Venerable, being prepared was key. As the most talented person in the Zhao family for a millennium, predicted to be the one most likely to break through to Martial Venerable in ten thousand years, I believed that I would one day be able to break through to Martial Venerable and become the foremost person on the continent.

After entering the Heaven’s Secret Realm and catching up with that child, she held me in her arms. In my embarrassment, I also wanted to use the excuse of being drunk to avoid the current unfavorable situation. Then I got drunk out of greed for the drink. Why did I get drunk? Perhaps I wanted to be drunk! Maybe the wine was too fragrant and delicious, so I couldn’t resist!

I knew all along that this child would not kill me, abandon me, or leave a drunk me to fend for myself. Haha, I am the Zhao family’s number one genius, predicted to lead the Zhao family to another peak. How could the child I taught bear to kill me? I was still useful. She was the Zhao Family Head, and she had to be responsible for the Zhao family’s genius. Such a cold reason.

If one day I lost all my talent, would I be abandoned by the family or by Zhao Ziyan? Didn’t her brother have his Dantian crippled? Even if he was rescued, he couldn’t cultivate, so they simply let him die! What a cold and uncaring family. I must be drunk, otherwise, how could I mock my own family?

After getting drunk, we buried the hatchet. Hahaha, Zhao Ziyan, in the end, you still can’t escape my control, can you?

Even if it’s just in a different way.

I am crazy, even crazier than when I fell in love with Shang Luo. Entangled for more than ten years, even if you have forgotten how I treated you in the past, now I want you to remember it all, piece by piece. You, Zhao Ziyan, can never break free from my control, little niece. I am, after all, in love with you! In this life, and the next.