The Foolish General's Mute Spouse - Chapter 53

53: “Why didn’t you teach me…”

Qi Ren didn’t return all afternoon. Fu Yu’an thought he might have been discussing matters with Minister Yu, so he didn’t go looking for him.

But by the time it grew dark, Qi Ren still hadn’t come back. When he finally did return, he was dead drunk, reeking of alcohol, and had to be carried home by Li Ke.

Fu Yu’an pinched his nose in disgust as he took Qi Ren from Li Ke, dragging him into the room with great effort.

“Xiao Zhu, go prepare some hot water!” he ordered, then added, “And brew a bowl of sobering soup first!”

Xiao Zhu quickly acknowledged and hurried off to prepare.

Qi Ren, his face flushed from drinking, kept muttering something under his breath.

Fu Yu’an leaned in to listen—good grief! He was actually complaining about him!

“You went out with him… but not me… You don’t want me…”

“How could you do this… I like you so much…”

Fu Yu’an didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Hadn’t Qi Ren always had a high alcohol tolerance? How had he gotten this drunk now!

Prince Qing hadn’t even stopped him, letting him drown his sorrows in liquor.

Fu Yu’an dampened a cloth and wiped Qi Ren’s face, soothing him gently, “I didn’t abandon you. Didn’t I stand you up yesterday? I had to make it up to him today. Besides, I even brought you lunch, but you weren’t home.”

Qi Ren still looked aggrieved, his lips pursed and his head hanging low as he let Fu Yu’an wipe his face. By the time Fu Yu’an was done, Qi Ren’s face was dripping wet, like a drenched, pitiful big dog.

Fu Yu’an was both exasperated and amused. Since Qi Ren had stopped pretending, this was the first time Fu Yu’an had seen him in such a silly, pitiful state—and for some reason, it stirred a nostalgic melancholy in him.

“Alright, alright, when did I ever say I didn’t want you? Stop overthinking it.” he reassured.

Qi Ren didn’t believe him. He flopped backward onto Fu Yu’an’s lap, and two clear trails of tears rolled down his cheeks.

Fu Yu’an: “…”

A grown man in his late twenties—how could he just start crying like this?

Would he die of embarrassment when he sobered up and remembered this?

Fu Yu’an wiped his tears away, barely suppressing his laughter as he continued coaxing him, though it had little effect.

He asked, “Who told you I didn’t want you anymore? You must’ve been tricked!”

Qi Ren sniffled. “Fu Yanxiao said it. He said you don’t love me, that you’re about to run away, taking all the family fortune with you, leaving me at home to fend for myself… Wuwuwu… I don’t want to live off the cold wind!”

“Not drinking the northwest wind—he lied to you. How could I bear to let you drink the northwest wind?” Fu Yu’an gently touched the side of his face and smiled.

Qi Ren said, “But you’re richer than me! I’m afraid someone will snatch you away! Look at that Xia Xiu—he’s always asking you to hang out. What’s there to play around for? Both of you are married men, why do you have to spend so much time together?”

“No more hanging out, no more.” Fu Yu’an agreed readily, hoping he wouldn’t remember any of this once he sobered up.

Qi Ren sat up, hugged him, and started crying, smearing snot and tears all over his clothes, sniffling without a trace of the dignified general’s demeanor.

This was the first time Fu Yu’an had seen him act so childishly—stubbornly distrustful and fixated on the smallest things.

Xiao Zhu knocked and entered the room, and the two quickly forced a bowl of sobering soup down his throat.

He let out a hiccup, squinted, and recognized Xiao Zhu, shifting his focus to her. He stared at her and asked, “When are you and your sweetheart getting married? I’m still waiting to drink at your wedding!”

Xiao Zhu, after all, was a young woman, and being asked so bluntly, her face flushed bright red.

She stammered, unable to respond. Qi Ren waited for a long time but got no answer, so he simply gave up, pushed the two aside, and insisted on going to find Li Ke to ask instead.

When he threw a drunken tantrum, he truly acted like an overgrown child—utterly impossible to handle!

Li Ke was right outside the door, and the moment Qi Ren stepped out, he spotted him. Without a word, he dragged him inside, pressed him and Xiao Zhu together, and clapped his hands in satisfaction.

Fu Yu’an: “…He’s drunk. Please bear with him.”

The two quickly waved their hands: “Of course, of course!”

“Li Ke isn’t getting any younger either. Delaying things will only lead to complications…” Qi Ren said. “Xiao Zhu is at the prime of her youth. I advise you to make plans sooner rather than later!”

Li Ke dared not voice his anger and could only nod perfunctorily.

Not getting any younger? You’re twenty-seven or twenty-eight yourself—five or six years older than me! And you just got married too—who are you to laugh at anyone?!

“Ah! How about this? Since Li Ke has no parents anyway, if you don’t mind, I’ll be your father and help arrange the wedding. How does that sound?!” He slapped his thigh, thrilled with the idea.

Li Ke: “…”

Although the meaning seemed to be for his own good, the idea of his master becoming a father…

He couldn’t accept it.

Fu Yu’an noticed Li Ke’s expression growing increasingly solemn, so he sternly reprimanded, “Stop talking nonsense! First, take a bath. We’ll talk after you sober up!”

Xiao Zhu immediately snapped back to attention, scrambling to prepare the bathwater.

Li Ke also couldn’t bear to stay a moment longer and quickly excused himself with a bow.

Fifteen minutes later, Fu Yu’an had pressed him into the water and finally let out a slight sigh of relief.

Perhaps the hangover soup had taken effect—Qi Ren leaned against the bathtub with his eyes closed, looking much more sober than before.

Fu Yu’an tousled his hair and asked, “Why did you suddenly ask when he’s getting married? Aren’t you embarrassed?”

Qi Ren gave a vague hum, silent, as if he’d already fallen asleep.

Fu Yu’an sighed, tossing the washcloth onto his head. “Wash yourself, then!”

With a splash of water, Qi Ren opened his eyes, noticeably more alert, and replied, “If she gets married, maybe you won’t leave me.”

“…”

Fu Yu’an fell silent for a long while before finally speaking slowly, “Whether she gets married or not has little to do with whether I leave or not.”

Qi Ren shot him a heavy, inscrutable look.

Fu Yu’an stepped closer until their noses nearly touched, then flashed him a radiant smile. “I won’t abandon you.”

Dazzled by that smile and already muddled from the alcohol, Qi Ren felt a surge of heat. In an instant, he stood up and pulled Fu Yu’an into the water.

Water splashed everywhere. The bathtub barely accommodated two grown men, spilling over the sides.

Fu Yu’an flushed red, squirming uncomfortably as he tried to push him away, but Qi Ren’s arms locked around him like iron chains, leaving no room to move.

Kisses rained down—on his eyes, his cheeks, and finally, with tender reverence, on his lips.

Qi Ren let out a soft chuckle, exhaling a satisfied sigh. “I knew you couldn’t bear to leave me.”

Fu Yu’an: “Let me go first!”

“I won’t!” he retorted stubbornly, acting shameless. “We’re not like those two—they’ve been married for over half a year. What’s there to be shy about?”

Fu Yu’an: “I hope you can still be this bold when you sober up.”

Qi Ren simply held him tighter, pressing light kisses along his collarbone and neck as he murmured, “You’ve drawn so many of those illustrated books—why haven’t you taught me how two men perform the rites of Zhou Gong? Hmm?”

Fu Yu’an flushed crimson, stunned by his bluntness. Trapped between embarrassment and helplessness, he couldn’t escape, leaving him torn between conflicting emotions.

“Let me go first, and I’ll tell you.” he coaxed. “I’ll go get the book—just wait, alright?”

Qi Ren, thinking he had finally agreed, was overjoyed.

Though they had shared plenty of kisses and embraces these past days, Fu Yu’an had always stopped him before taking the final step, claiming he wasn’t ready, that he was afraid. Qi Ren hadn’t dared to push further, worried he might upset him.

But now, seeing him like this—he truly does love me. Otherwise, why would he…?

Ah, he loves me so much!