The Gods Are Fighting Over Me - Chapter 9
Lin Jianyue was born into a family of musicians. According to her father, their family had been involved in musical instruments since her grandfather’s generation, a legacy passed down to this day.
The family’s solid foundation should have been a source of honor for Lin Jianyue, giving her a head start and paving a path of flowers for her.
But under her father’s almost obsessive control, the praise of being a “musical family” turned into a venomous snake wrapped around Lin Jianyue’s neck, its cold tongue flicking out at her.
The Lin family was an excellent musical family, and the Lin family’s children had to be the most outstanding performers. Lin Jianyue’s life path was set in stone: take the stage at the Vienna Musikverein, sit in the first chair in beautiful clothes, and let the melodies from her fingertips resonate through the dome.
Just like her older brother, whose life path was already set.
Her academic performance wasn’t important. Her physical and mental health weren’t important. Leisure activities weren’t important. Personal preferences weren’t important. Lin Jianyue only had to do one thing.
Practice the piano, practice the piano, practice the piano.
She had to maintain a slender figure and live in the spotlight like a pure, untouched character from a novel, envied by all. She had to become the most talented musician, carry on the Lin family’s glory, and earn her father’s respect.
He would tear up all of Lin Jianyue’s extracurricular books and doodles, smash the models she had built, break her figurines, and kill her cat.
At first, Lin Jianyue would cry and fight back, desperately clinging to her father’s arm to stop him, and then she would be slapped, her face swollen, and she would calm down. After high school, Lin Jianyue would just calmly watch her father lose control and then continue to practice the piano.
“You’re terrifying.”
Her brother, who was five years older than Lin Jianyue and was already attending the Royal Academy of Music in the UK, according to their father’s wishes, helped Lin Jianyue hide her manga. He then messed up her hair, his tone complicated. “You have a kind of quiet madness.”
Lin Jianyue tilted her head and chuckled. She took her brother’s arm and started to pout. “Shogakukan just released a new set of beautiful merchandise. Brother, will you buy it for me?”
“I’m studying in the UK, not Japan.”
“Please, please, please.”
Unable to resist Lin Jianyue’s nagging, her brother threw his hands up in surrender. “Fine, fine, I’ll buy it. I’ll sneak it back for you when I’m on break.”
He glanced nervously at the living room, making sure their father wasn’t there. Then he waved for Lin Jianyue to come closer. “Pack a bag. We’re going to the UK this afternoon.”
“I just got a beating last week.”
“My mentor has a concert in London. I’ve already talked to him, and he’ll give you some pointers. If Dad asks, I’ll just say I took you to see the world and get a chance to meet a world-class master.”
Lin Jianyue was like a kitten who had just spotted some treats. Her eyes lit up, and she quickly let go of her brother’s arm to pack her bag.
Her brother, who had poured all his love onto her, stood behind her and watched for a while. He closed his eyes, his head hurting. “I’m telling you, when you go on a trip, you bring pretty dresses. Who brings a suitcase full of manga?”
He angrily pointed at the face of the man on the manga cover, a vein twitching on his forehead. “Especially this one named Kenji Hagiwara. I don’t want to see him in your suitcase! Do you understand me?”
Lin Jianyue hummed a tune and pretended not to hear, quickly stuffing two more doujinshi manga about Kenji Hagiwara into the suitcase.
They spent a full five days in the UK. When he dropped Lin Jianyue off for her flight back home, her brother looked at her calloused hands and suddenly said, “Jianyue, you’re different from me. I don’t have the courage, but you do. You’ll definitely make a name for yourself.”
His eyes were full of love as he affectionately ruffled her hair. “Dad is bad, but big brother is good. Big brother will always support you.”
So a few years later, her brother, who had just finished a perfect performance and was celebrating by drinking with his friends at a bar, received an emergency call from home.
“Brother, Dad went to France with his orchestra. You need to buy me a plane ticket to Japan right now.” After a pause, Lin Jianyue added, “And help me rent an apartment in Tokyo.”
Her brother spat out a mouthful of wine onto his colleague’s face and sat up in surprise. He unconsciously raised his voice. “No! Have you gone crazy with this two-dimensional stuff? What are you going to do in Japan?”
Lin Jianyue giggled and dropped a bombshell. “I got accepted into Musashino Art University.”
“…? Art university?”
“Yep!” The end of her voice rose, her pride shining through.
Her brother immediately got angry. “Lin Jianyue, have you gone crazy? With so many famous music schools in Japan, you going to an art university? What kind of musical achievements will that bring you? I know you want to rebel against that old man, but this is basically throwing away your stuff.”
Lin Jianyue calmly interrupted. “What are you talking about? I’m in the graphic design program. Musashino Art University is the best art school in all of Japan.”
“…Wha-?”
Her brother was like a chicken with its throat choked. It took him a while to force out a weak question. “Art students need a portfolio. Where did you get a portfolio?”
“I built it during the year I broke my arm.”
After finishing college, her father demanded that Lin Jianyue go to Juilliard to continue her studies. She broke her arm instead, and with her left arm full of steel pins in a sling, she stayed home for a whole year under her father’s resentful glare.
The broken arm was an accident, but it was just what she wanted. If her left arm was broken and she couldn’t play the piano, she could still draw, right? The moment her father left the house, she would get up and plug in her drawing tablet.
Her brother was completely bewildered. “You can get into a prestigious school in a year? Did Musashino Art University let you in through the back door?”
Lin Jianyue giggled like a greedy cat who had stolen some meat. “You didn’t expect that, did you, brother? I’ve been secretly drawing behind Dad’s back since high school.”
Her brother was even more confused. “With that dog’s oppressive environment, your eyes are on the piano all day long. Where did you find the time to draw?”
“I waited for Dad to fall asleep, then I’d sneak out of bed to draw. Two hours every day, rain or shine.” Although her father was a tyrant, as long as Lin Jianyue finished her practice, he wouldn’t criticize her for her sleep schedule.
Lin Jianyue’s tail was practically wagging with pride, her voice clearly seeking praise. “So, what do you think, brother? I have good self-control, don’t I?”
Her brother listened to the chirping on the other end of the phone and suddenly understood the root of her diagnosed nervous breakdowns and migraines.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, first letting out a few laughs, and then suddenly jumping up from his seat, scolding Lin Jianyue in front of his colleagues in the bar.
He yelled at her for not taking care of herself while snatching his friend’s phone to book a flight to Tokyo for Lin Jianyue. “I haven’t even become a lead yet, and my salary is all going to you! If you don’t get your degree, I’ll break your legs!”
Her brother took on their father’s rage for her and even rented her the best apartment in Tokyo.
When he received a photo of Lin Jianyue with her new mentor, her brother ran his fingers over the screen, lost in thought for a long time. He stared at the picture, as if seeing an alternate version of his own life through Lin Jianyue.
After a long time, he sent Lin Jianyue a message, as if he were also speaking to his own un-courageous self. ‘Jianyue, don’t let anyone become a stumbling block. No one can stop you from pursuing your life. No one.’
He thought for a moment and then added a bunch of other advice, but most of it was just pointless stuff like, ‘drink more hot water’ and ‘go to bed early, or I’ll break your legs.’
When he got her reply, ‘I’m pulling an all-nighter right now, brother. Are you going to take a taxi over and break my legs? XD,’ her brother looked at his watch. It was 5 p.m. in London, and 2 a.m. in Japan.
He was silent for a moment, then pressed the voice message button and let out a string of curses that were bleeped out like Morse code.
After he was done yelling, he put his feet on the coffee table and got serious again. Japanese people are weird. They’re polite on the outside, but they might be secretly plotting something. You’re there alone, so be careful you don’t get scammed. Call me anytime if you need anything.”
Lin Jianyue sent a voice message with a laugh. “Don’t worry, brother. I only trust things I can hold firmly in my hands.”
Her upbringing had only taught her one thing:
You can’t trust what’s in people’s hearts.
You never know what kind of rot is hidden beneath a beautiful exterior.
The so-called friends of her father who came with wine might have been there for a power-and-money deal. They might have wanted her father to teach some guy in the orchestra a lesson, or maybe the target was her father himself.
Lin Jianyue couldn’t understand the pretense behind the wine and smiles. She only knew they were as disgusting as her father.
The man who was praised for being good-natured, who would gently teach his students, and who had the title of a world-class pianist, would throw a tantrum when she refused to practice and even slap her.
The man who maintained the image of a model husband outside and would come home with roses after a tour was caught cheating by Lin Jianyue, who had returned home early due to an illness. When she opened the door, her father hadn’t even had time to move his hand from the woman’s leg.
You can’t know a person’s heart just by looking at their face.
Lin Jianyue would never be able to guess what was hidden behind a smiling mask.
Humans are terrifyingly fickle. One second, they might give you candy; the next, they’ll stab you with a knife.
Besides, men are the most unreliable creatures.
Lacking guidance from elders, all of Lin Jianyue’s understanding of love came from old idol dramas. Love should be beautiful, romantic, and loyal. You should only love one person your whole life.
But in reality, more and more shocking news stories, whether fake or real, were tearing at her nerves. Even her own father was a bad example.
When she saw another terrible news story on her phone, Lin Jianyue lowered her eyes, feeling sick. She began to obsessively and twistedly pursue “controllable love.”
She started pouring her love into fictional characters, immersing herself in the mental utopia she had built.
Fictional characters are controllable and can be shaped by people. If she wanted them to be loyal to her, they could only be loyal to her.
But people couldn’t be controlled.
A person’s heart can change in an instant.
When Kenji Hagiwara came out of her drawings and became a real, living person with his own thoughts, when love was no longer visible and the true heart hidden beneath a person’s skin could be decorated however they pleased, the feeling of being out of control followed, overwhelming Lin Jianyue like a tsunami.
She never doubted Kenji Hagiwara’s character, but she questioned the shelf life of love.
But more than how to handle Kenji Hagiwara’s love, Lin Jianyue was more afraid of something else; she hated instability and unexpected changes.
Changes often hide risks and opportunities, but she had already seized her opportunity—being accepted into Japan’s best art school and becoming a student and assistant to an illustrator on the level of Mai Yoneyama. Her life was finally on track, and everything was moving in the right direction.
World fusion.
Four simple words, but they hid a turmoil no less than the Eastern European revolutions, a risk that could crush everything.
Lin Jianyue stared blankly at Kenji Hagiwara’s face, a face she had missed day and night. Her eyelashes suddenly trembled, and a tear fell without warning. She opened her mouth, her voice as light as smoke, filled with a dazed feeling of being shattered by reality.
“…This has to be a joke.”
“…Why are you here?”