The Green Tea Actress Has Too Much After-Show Drama - Chapter 1

Ran Long loved to make life difficult for others.

This was the biggest challenge Sister Hou had faced in her life so far.

After a long day of work, what should have been the most harmonious and relaxing mealtime for the film crew often turned into Sister Hou’s nightmare.

Strictly speaking, Sister Hou wasn’t an assistant; she was Ran Long’s manager.

But due to the small company’s limited staff and Ran Long’s notorious reputation for being demanding, no one else was willing to serve this little tyrant during her grueling work schedule. That’s why Sister Hou found herself squatting beside the dining area, chopsticks and spoon in hand, meticulously preparing Ran Long’s lunchbox according to the tyrant’s precise instructions:

 Peel the tomatoes in the tomato and egg stir-fry.  Remove the fatty pork from the braised pork belly.  Pick out the garlic from the stir-fried bok choy.  Remove the meat from the garlic sprouts with minced pork.

You’d think Ran Long hated garlic, but she not only ate the bok choy stir-fried with garlic but also the garlic sprouts themselves.

You’d think she hated meat, but she insisted on eating the lean meat and skin from the pork belly.

The skin! That layer of skin attached to the fatty pork!

How disgusting! A perfectly delicious and visually appealing lunchbox had to be transformed into something that looked like it had been chewed by an old woman before she’d even touch it.

Even so, Sister Hou dared not voice her anger. Though her mind churned with resentment, she could only act like a timid little coward in Ran Long’s presence.

Besides, she had voluntarily taken on this mess herself.

More specifically, a demigod had chosen this mess for her.

For three years since graduating, Sister Hou had been working at Gourd Media.

She was a small-time executive manager at an artist management company that barely survived in the cracks of the industry, always keeping her tail tucked between her legs. She spent her days in a dizzying whirl of activity, creating countless PowerPoint presentations, meeting endless people, only to realize in the end that it was all just a fool’s errand.

Finally, when one of the artists she managed showed signs of breaking through and was poached by a major company, she realized she was already 25 years old.

Twenty-five—the perfect age to hustle hard, or, if you believed in fate, to trust in destiny.

She remembered back when she was barely taller than a chair, a Demigod had meticulously analyzed her birth chart.

The Demigod had declared that in her twenty-fifth year, she would meet her “fated person,” and their lives would undergo a cataclysmic transformation together.

“From then on, endless riches and glory shall be yours, where flowers bloom with fragrant clarity and the moon casts its cool shadows. Coincidentally, both these children share this destiny.”

So, after much pleading and cajoling, she secured a day of annual leave and embarked on a journey back to her hometown to find the Demigod who had foretold her fate in childhood. She hoped to seek guidance from him, hoping that even a lowly “salted fish” like her could taste the thrill of turning her life around.

“You’re looking for Half-Immortal Zhou? That’s me. What do you want me to divine? Damn it, another pair! Another pair! Can’t you play anything else? Sharp pair! Got any?!”

Sister Hou stared blankly at the girl with the frizzy hair, who was holding cards in one hand and sunflower seeds in the other, calling herself “Half-Immortal Zhou.” Her expression darkened.

“Um… the Half-Immortal Zhou I’m looking for is an elderly master, a… a man.”

The frizzy-haired girl shot Sister Hou a sideways glance, spat a sunflower seed shell onto the ground, and turned back to the mahjong table. “San Xiao, if you’ve got a bomb, drop it! You saving it for New Year’s fireworks?”

“Do you know where that Half-Immortal Zhou is?”

“What year were you born? And what year is it now? Little sister, even if the Half-Immortal Zhou you’re looking for had lived forever, he’d be dead by now!”

Before her opponent could even finish collecting his straight flush, the frizzy-haired girl slammed her cards onto the table. “Business! Business! We’ll finish this later. This round doesn’t count!”

The other players grumbled, but the frizzy-haired girl grinned defiantly, shoved a handful of sunflower seeds into Sister Hou’s hand, swept the loose change from the corner of the table into her pocket, and swiftly ushered Sister Hou away by the shoulder.

Settling down on low stools around a small table, the frizzy-haired girl began slowly, “I’m Half-Immortal Zhou’s great-granddaughter. If you want your fortune told, you’ve come to the right place.”

The girl, with her heavily made-up face and rebellious teenage look, made Sister Hou hesitant to entrust her life’s most important decision to her.

She wanted to find someone at least reliable in age and asked, “Did your grandfather also tell fortunes?”

“Yeah, but he got drunk last winter, fell into a ravine, and froze to death.”

“And… your father?”

“Died with him.”

“…My condolences.”

“What’s there to mourn? I saw it coming ages ago! Kept telling them to be careful, but they wouldn’t listen! Heh, now they’re dead!” Half-Immortal Zhou picked at the dirt under her fingernails, then snatched the sunflower seeds back from Sister Hou’s hand and popped them into her mouth.

“……”

Whether stunned by Half-Immortal Zhou’s story or not, Sister Hou pondered for a moment, then made up her mind. She pulled her Destiny Manual and several photos of celebrities from her bag and laid them on the table.

The Demigod brushed aside the Destiny Manual, picked up the photos, and examined them with obvious delight. “Wow, so many handsome men and beautiful women! Ah, no, no, this is serious business. Five hundred yuan, no credit.”

Sister Hou was speechless. But with the real Half-Immortal Zhou gone, she decided to gamble on luck, treating this as a last-ditch effort.

And so, she told the Afro-haired girl every detail of her career history.

“…Now, I have only one spot left. I need to choose one of these artists to manage. Demigod, which one should I pick?”

After listening to Sister Hou’s explanation and flipping through her Destiny Manual, Half-Immortal Zhou abandoned his usual carefree demeanor and began scrutinizing the artists’ photos with intense focus.

“No, no, not these ones. Don’t hold back—show me everything.”

“This…”

Sister Hou hesitated before pulling out Ran Long’s photo from the very bottom of her small bag.

She had only remembered Ran Long halfway through her flight back home. After rummaging through her phone’s photo album, she found a snapshot from the company’s year-end party and had it printed on the spot.

The person in the photo was barefaced, her eyes rolled upward, revealing half of their bloodshot, terrifying whites. Dark circles, as prominent as a national treasure, spread almost to her cheekbones. Her long, curly hair was matted with several visible knots that could only be untangled by shaving it all off and letting it grow back. Her thin lips were pressed tightly together, conveying the weary annoyance of someone forced to attend her ex’s wedding.

To make matters worse, Sister Hou only noticed after the photos were developed that Ran Long, hugging her arms and half-concealing her hand under her armpit, was brazenly flipping the middle finger.

Developing a single photo cost five yuan—not expensive, but Sister Hou had no intention of showing anyone this particular shot and couldn’t be bothered to get another one printed.

“I’m sorry, Half-Immortal Zhou. I didn’t mean to insult you with this photo…”

However, to Sister Hou’s surprise, Half-Immortal Zhou’s eyes lit up inexplicably when he saw the crude woman in the photo, his spirit suddenly revitalized.

Sister Hou blinked, confirming that she hadn’t imagined the glint in the demigod’s eyes.

“She’s the one! The destined person who will turn your luck around!” Half-Immortal Zhou declared with certainty.

“Wait!” Sister Hou exclaimed. “Demigod, you don’t understand! This woman is a lunatic!”

“A lunatic?”

“Yes, a lunatic! Qiu An—do you know Qiu An?”

“Qiu An? The big movie star Qiu An?”

“Exactly, her!”

“Who doesn’t know her? She’s stunning! Ah, they say karma comes around, but why can’t I get her fate?”

“Oh, you don’t know! The woman in the photo is named Ran Long. Two years ago, a video surfaced of her verbally abusing Qiu An and slapping her!”

“Is that so?”

“Exactly! Qiu An’s fame and influence are immense. Even removing the trending topics couldn’t stop the firestorm. The entire internet was waiting for Ran Long’s apology statement, but she refused to issue one! We were completely helpless! After that, almost no one dared to hire Ran Long for roles. Now, it’s practically a industry-wide blacklist!”

Sister Hou spoke urgently. If Ran Long could truly make a comeback against the odds, she might consider taking her on, even if it meant swallowing her pride and begging favors from everyone to find her work. But the problem was:

“And Ran Long is incredibly difficult to work with. You know how it is—low profile, high maintenance, and a terrible temper!”

“She’s had managers before, and for occasional events, they’d assign her a junior assistant. But every single one of them was driven half-mad by her! The ones who returned either resigned immediately or threatened to quit unless they were reassigned to another artist!”

“Whoa, she’s got some baggage,” Half-Immortal Zhou said, bringing Ran Long’s photo close to his nose for a closer look. “Tsk, just looking at her face, I can tell she’s going to be a handful.”

“A handful?! That’s an understatement! You know how we assistants have our own WeChat groups? There’s this shared spreadsheet called the ‘Artist Red-Black List’ circulating, detailing the personalities, preferences, and special considerations for all the signed artists.”

“Ran Long has been topping the Blacklist every day, yet no one has managed to figure out her preferences. The entire page of complaints boils down to two words:

‘Run away!'”

Sister Hou grew increasingly agitated as she spoke, her nose nearly poking Half-Immortal Zhou in the eye. She demanded fiercely, “With someone like this, are you absolutely sure you want me to work with her?”

Half-Immortal Zhou nodded solemnly. “Work with her!”

On the way back to Beiji, Sister Hou agonized over the 2,500 yuan she’d wasted on the consultation fee and round-trip airfare and train tickets.

Staring at her bank balance and reflecting on her days spent drifting aimlessly at the company, she tossed and turned for most of the night before finally realizing that sometimes, you have to push yourself to the brink to find new life.

“Give me Ran Long.”

“Stop! Don’t try to talk me out of it. One more word and I’ll regret this.”

After thoroughly reviewing Ran Long’s file, Sister Hou truly began to panic.

Currently, Ran Long was making a living by selling her talents through live streaming, having not taken on any proper gigs in ages.

She had no manager, not even an interim one, meaning Sister Hou would have to handle every aspect of her career planning from start to finish.

Fortunately, Sister Hou hadn’t had much direct interaction with Ran Long during her years at the company. But this also meant her understanding of the artist was limited to the information in that spreadsheet. To develop a proper plan, she’d need to find someone who could give her the inside scoop.

Sister Hou recalled her interactions with Ran Long. She had occasionally helped Ran Long with work tasks.

After Ran Long drove away her previous manager, she had no one to coordinate with. She resorted to @ing everyone in the company’s group chat, asking them to buy traffic and promote her livestreams. No one paid her any attention. Sister Hou, remembering that the company took a cut of Ran Long’s livestream revenue, would occasionally buy some traffic for her as a favor.

Being timid, Sister Hou never dared to @ Ran Long to tell her about these small acts of support. Their interactions remained minimal, hovering between nonexistent and barely there.

One day at work, as Sister Hou was fretting over how to approach Ran Long, an email appeared in her inbox.

The subject line read: “Lively Motion Pictures New Project Audition Invitation – Ran Long.”

In this day and age, scams targeting artists and agencies were rampant, especially those claiming to be from major companies. Sister Hou, having seen her fair share, was highly skeptical and scoffed at the email.

But then she noticed the sender’s name: “Yuan Chengyin” in bold letters.

Her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. Are scammers really getting this bold these days?!

Yuan Chengyin was one of the most renowned and sought-after young directors of her generation.

Her breakthrough film, Half a Lifetime, released several years prior, had not only brought her national acclaim but also secured Qiu An the Golden Phoenix Award for Best Actress. Later, she moved abroad, taking Qiu An with her to international fame, where they garnered numerous prestigious film awards.

Countless actors would kill for a chance to audition for her.

Rumor had it that Yuan Chengyin’s new film would be shot in China, and agents swarmed like bees to honey. Gourd Media wanted to join the frenzy, but unfortunately, none of their contacts could get their artists an audition.

Yet now, this golden opportunity had landed in their lap?

And from the renowned director himself?!

Sister Hou stared at the email, her eyes glazed over. After a long moment, she asked her colleagues in a trembling voice, “Do you guys know if Yuan Chengyin—Director Yuan—has a habit of personally inviting unknown actors to audition?”

Her colleagues, knowing Sister Hou had just taken over Ran Long’s management, exchanged bewildered glances at her nonsensical question. They retorted bluntly:

“What are you smoking? Dream on!”

“Even if he did, what makes you think we’d be the lucky ones?”

Sister Hou felt like she was losing her mind, gripped by hysteria.

If her memory hadn’t been distorted by this panic, Yuan Chengyin was the third person in that video.

The one where Ran Long slapped Qiu An.

And this esteemed director had also received a slap from Ran Long.