The Knight Who Broke Off Our Engagement and Told Me to Never Show My Face Again Still Clings to Me Today, Even Though I Was Possessed and Turned Into a Villainess for Ten Years - 38 - I Should Know Better

—Why… why did it turn out like this?

Rufus smelled warm and nice, with a faint scent of alcohol, and it was making me feel lightheaded too.

This situation was definitely not good. I tried to quietly slip out of his arms, but he just hugged me tighter.

“U-Um, Rufus…”

“You’re so cute.”

“…Huh?”

“Sadie is the cutest in the whole world.”

“…!”

His words made my heart pound painfully fast. My whole body felt hot.

The Rufus I know would never say things like this. He probably doesn’t even think it when he’s sober. I hadn’t drunk much in my life, but I never knew alcohol could be this dangerous.

He was definitely the one who would regret all this in the morning. I was the one who had to stay calm and handle things. But… what could I even do in this situation?

“R-Rufus, how about some water? So maybe now you can let go of—”

“No.”

“Eh?”

“I’ll never see a dream like this again in my life.”

…It seemed he thought this was all a dream. No matter what I said now, it probably wouldn’t reach him.

I decided to wait until he fell asleep and then quietly go back to my room. With that in mind, I relaxed my body. From his chest, I could hear his heartbeat, fast and strong.

It sounded like he didn’t want to wake up from this ‘dream.’ And just when I was wondering why…

“I love you.”

Those words came down from above me, like a soft whisper.

I was too stunned to speak. And then he said more.

“I’ve always loved you, Sadie.”

His voice was so gentle, so full of pain that it made me want to cry.

Why was he saying things like this?

Rufus’s hand reached out and gently stroked my hair. Even the way he touched me felt like a confession of love.

“Th-That’s not true.”

“It is.”

“…But…”

“I think I’ll never be able to love anyone but you. Not for the rest of my life.”

It was almost like a proposal. My heart couldn’t take it anymore. It beat so fast I didn’t know what was happening.

I wasn’t even sad, but my eyes started to tear up.

“You’re so cute…”

This had to be the alcohol talking. He was drunk. That’s all it was.

“I love you. I really, really love you.”

So I shouldn’t take it seriously.

…But even if I told myself that, Rufus’s voice was so sincere, so warm… that part of me started to wonder if maybe… just maybe, he really meant it.

My heart wouldn’t stop pounding.

◇◇◇

“W-W-What…!?”

“…Good morning.”

The next morning, I woke up to Rufus’s panicked voice.

At some point, we had fallen asleep like that. He and I had spent the whole night in each other’s arms. By now, being so close to him didn’t even surprise me anymore.

But Rufus was clearly different. He jumped back like something exploded and covered his mouth with his hand, his face bright red.

“Why… why am I with Sadie… like this…?”

He couldn’t even talk properly. He was really, truly panicking.

From the looks of it, he didn’t remember a thing. Just waking up like this was enough to freak him out. It was probably better if he didn’t remember.

“Last night, Anton brought you back to the room after you almost passed out from drinking. I was worried, so I brought you some water. Then you hugged me, and we both just… fell asleep.”

“…I’m really sorry.”

He immediately lowered his head in apology. I told him to lift his head and smiled, saying it was okay. But Rufus looked like he regretted it deeply. His face said it all—like the world was ending.

“I didn’t… do anything weird, right? Or say anything strange?”

“No, nothing at all. You fell asleep right away.”
“…I see.”

He looked completely relieved. And I was glad I hadn’t told him the truth.

If I had, he’d probably spend the rest of his life apologizing… and never talk to me normally again.

After that, I returned to my room to pack up, then met up with Rufus again. The mood between us was still awkward as we ate breakfast and got in the carriage.

On the way back, that strange silence hung between us the whole time.

After we got home and I explained the delay to my family, I was heading off to see Eliza and Norman when I ran into Tim in the hallway.

If I remembered right, he once said he liked to go drinking on his days off.

That’s why I decided to ask him something that had been on my mind.

“Hey, Tim. When someone gets drunk… do they say things they don’t really mean?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Like, hitting on a girl they don’t even like…”

“Oh yeah, of course. All guys do that. Go to a bar, get drunk, flirt with random girls—it’s just what happens.”

“…I see.”

So… I guess that was normal.

Tim said it like it was obvious, then tilted his head.

“Why the sudden question?”

“I-It’s nothing! I was just curious!”

I said that quickly, then walked away as fast as I could. I heard Tim’s confused voice behind me.

I kept walking aimlessly until I found a pillar to hide behind, then slumped down to the floor.

—So it really was just the alcohol talking.

I was embarrassed that I even let myself believe it for a second.

“…I’m so stupid.”

But even so, just remembering it made my heart race. His voice saying ‘I love you’ and ‘You’re the only one for me’… it wouldn’t leave my ears.

I couldn’t stop thinking about Rufus.

If he got drunk again… would he say those same words to another woman?

Just imagining that made me feel awful. I didn’t want that. I hated the idea.

I pretended not to notice how shocked I really was. Then I covered my burning face with both hands.