The Knight Who Broke Off Our Engagement and Told Me to Never Show My Face Again Still Clings to Me Today, Even Though I Was Possessed and Turned Into a Villainess for Ten Years - 52 - Awareness and Decision
“Why is Rufus here…?”
But right away, he disappeared behind the building, and I could no longer see him from the window.
Right now, I can’t even leave this room. Everything has been perfectly planned—my voice won’t reach anyone even if I scream, and I can’t use magic to break down the door either.
“…!”
I felt frustrated and helpless—I wanted to cry.
Even so, just seeing Rufus for a short moment from far away made me happy. It gave me a bit of hope.
About five minutes later, Rufus came back to the carriage. I pressed both hands against the window, desperately trying to follow him with my eyes.
I don’t know why Rufus came to this mansion, or who he talked to. But I’m sure the people in this house will keep hiding my existence.
Since he left so quickly, he probably didn’t notice that anything was wrong.
“No… please… don’t go… Rufus…”
Even though I knew my voice couldn’t reach him, words asking him to stay kept spilling out of me.
And then, just before getting into the carriage, Rufus turned and looked up—our eyes met… or so I thought.
He couldn’t have seen me from there, so it had to be just my imagination.
Still, I hated myself for getting my hopes up like an idiot.
Rufus turned his back and got into the carriage.
“…Ugh…”
When the carriage disappeared from view, I slowly crouched down right there and hugged my knees.
“Happy birthday, Sadie.”
“I-I’m sorry for what I did. I don’t know what came over me…”
“I wouldn’t do something like that with just anyone.”
He had been so close the last time I saw him.
I can still clearly remember the warmth and scent when he hugged me.
Would he touch Mabel the same way, now that she’s in my body?
Would he look at her with those beautiful eyes and call her name in that gentle voice?
Just thinking about that made my heart feel like it was going to break.
At the same time, a dark and heavy feeling started to rise from deep inside me.
I had felt anger toward Mabel and Tabatha many times before, but this was different.
“…It hurts. It’s painful…”
I knew this kind of pain.
“Just imagining Rufus saying he likes another girl, touching her… I hated it. That’s why I was so relieved.”
The emotion I felt back then… Now it was boiling over, stronger than ever.
—Please… Please don’t look at anyone else but me.
And then I realized—the only person I ever felt this way about… is Rufus.
“When you’re really in trouble, I want you to come to me.”
“I’ll always help you.”
“I’ll definitely save you. So it’s going to be okay.”
“I’ve always loved you, Sadie.”
“I don’t think I could ever love anyone else, even if I lived to the end of my life.”
“I love you. I truly do.”
There were so many times before when I felt something special toward Rufus.
I just didn’t know what that feeling was called.
“…I love Rufus.”
He’s always honest, strong, sincere, and kind—a little awkward sometimes, but more gentle than anyone.
And I… had fallen in love with him.
Realizing this at a time like this, in this situation,made me want to cry.
But now that I had realized it, I could feel that ‘love’ taking real shape inside me.
It had already grown so much, I was surprised I hadn’t noticed it before.
“…Rufus…”
But now, I can’t even tell him how I feel. Tears flowed from my eyes nonstop, and before I knew it, I was crying out loud like a child.
I already learned in those ten years that crying wouldn’t change anything.
Even so, I decided this would be the last time I cried. When I finished, I wiped my tears with my sleeve and lifted my head.
—I’ll definitely escape from here and return to my real body. Then, I’ll tell Rufus that I love him.
I swore this to myself and clenched my fists tightly.
◇◇◇
The next morning, while the maids were helping me get dressed, I decided to ask something I’d been curious about.
“Hey, do you know what this is?”
On the inside of Eliza’s right thigh, there was a thin piece of cloth stuck tightly to the skin. When I touched it, I could feel something like a raised scar—it seemed to be a wound a few centimeters long.
“We don’t know about that either,” said the maid.
Because Eliza’s current condition includes ‘some memory loss,’ the maids didn’t find it suspicious and answered honestly.
“But we were told not to say anything, since she didn’t want to worry the master or madam.”
It seemed like Mabel had gotten that injury somewhere outside and treated it in secret. But since the maids helped with everything from changing clothes to bathing, she couldn’t hide it from them and ordered them to stay silent.
Even though their memories were partly missing, they still saw me as Eliza. Since it was about the body, they were willing to talk.
It sounded suspicious, so I asked more questions.
“Do you know when it happened?”
“She already had the scar when I started serving her. It must’ve been a deep wound. They had to keep treating it over and over because it kept reopening. Even just recently.”
“…?”
The maid had been working for Eliza for three years. That meant the wound had been there before that.
But would a properly stitched wound really keep reopening for years?
I still had many doubts, but the maids didn’t know anything more, so I ended the conversation there.
Soon after that, Gerald visited me as usual.
“Good morning, Sadie.”
As always, he sat in the chair next to my bed with a smile on his face.
“Yesterday, Rufus Langridge came to the baron’s house. He seemed worried about Eliza’s condition.”
“…I see.”
“That’s all? I thought you’d be happier.”
I looked down and shook my head side to side.
“It’s fine. If Rufus really thinks Mabel is me, then there’s no point hoping for anything.”
—I didn’t really believe that.
But I started lying more and more, to increase my chances of escaping from this place.
“Maybe ten years ago I could understand, but now that we know body-switching is real, how could he not notice?”
“Exactly. Only I can truly understand you, Sadie. It’s useless to expect anything from someone like him.”
Gerald smiled with satisfaction and took my hand.
“I’m happy. I’m really happy. You finally understand, Sadie.”
“…Yeah.”
It seemed that nothing pleased Gerald more than me saying something negative about Rufus.
I held back the urge to pull my hand away and forced a smile.
“I’ll do anything for you. I’ll make you happy.”
“Really? You’ll do anything?”
“Of course. Except for returning you to your original body.”
When I squeezed Gerald’s hand back, his smile grew even wider.
First, I need to get out of this room—that’s my top priority.
“I want to have a wedding. It’s been my dream since I was a child.”
—To do that, I first need to gain complete control over Gerald.