The Little Princess's Secret Guard - Chapter 29

Chapter 29: He Has Changed

“I won’t allow you to talk about yourself like that.”

Shen Panyan released him, grasping his shoulders with both hands. Her eyes were still wet with tears but her gaze was gentle and firm. “Lin Xiao, remember, in my heart, you are a very, very good person. I won’t allow you to demean yourself like this.”

Even being in this place, she had never felt so safe.

And all of this was because of Lin Xiao.

A very, very good… person?!

Lin Xiao stared blankly, looking up at her, but in the next moment, he avoided her gaze.

“Princess…”

“It’s cold, get up quickly, Lin Xiao.” Shen Panyan reached out to help him. “Don’t kneel so readily in the future. I will never be angry with you.”

Suddenly, remembering Lin Xiao’s earlier mention of accepting punishment upon return, she quickly added: “I won’t punish you either.”

She didn’t want him to experience the way he had collapsed after kneeling in the snow for three days and three nights to beg for forgiveness when she was unconscious.

Lin Xiao stood still, his expression hesitant. After a long moment of deliberation, he finally voiced the doubt in his heart. “Princess… Why? Why are you so kind to me?”

Lin Xiao had kept this question hidden in his heart for a long time.

Although the Princess was kind to everyone around her, he could still feel her unique tolerance toward him.

Logically, a secret guard should stay hidden in the shadows to protect the master, but he often appeared instead of remaining hidden. The Princess never got angry, allowing him to appear and follow her at will.

Furthermore, running toward him barefoot in the snow, personally caring for him after he collapsed, standing up for fairness in the teahouse, allowing him to skip the lantern festival if he didn’t want to go… If he only explained this by saying “the Princess is very kind,” he could no longer account for her actions.

“Why?” Shen Panyan thought for a moment. “There’s no particular reason. It’s because you are Lin Xiao, and you deserve it.”

Perhaps it was because he appeared when she was most frightened and scared, or perhaps it was the handkerchief he offered when she shed tears, or perhaps it was the dagger he gave her… In her heart, he would always be the most special.

“…Deserve it?” Lin Xiao’s eyes showed confusion.

“Yes, you deserve it.”

Shen Panyan’s voice was very soft. “If you hadn’t arrived in time, I would definitely be in danger right now.”

“So, Lin Xiao, don’t doubt yourself.”

“But this is what your subordinate should do. In fact, if your subordinate hadn’t quarreled with Zhao Yun back then…”

“There’s no such thing as ‘should’ or ‘should not.’ Everyone has their own selfishness and desires. Otherwise, how could Qiu Shuang have betrayed me? As for the Zhao Yun incident, he spoke so excessively, it was right for you to be angry.”

“You are a person, not truly a piece of wood. How could you not have your own emotions?”

Lin Xiao: “But…”

Shen Panyan shook her head. “Enough, no buts. Others would find a way to harm me eventually. This has nothing to do with you.”

“Now, I’m actually relieved they made their move now. If they had waited until spring, after you left, Lin Xiao, and returned to Father’s side, and then made their move, I would truly be finished. No one would come to save me…” Shen Panyan’s voice trailed off at the end.

Speaking of his departure, both fell silent.

She hadn’t realized how quickly time had passed. In another month, Lin Xiao would have to leave.

If he returned to the Emperor’s side, they might never see each other again in this life.

A sudden bitterness rose in Shen Panyan’s nose, and her eyes felt hot. She held back fiercely, preventing the tears from falling.

Lin Xiao pursed his thin lips.

He didn’t know when, but it had been a long time since he thought about leaving the Princess’s side.

But when the time came, he had to leave. This command could not be defied.

This was a heavy topic, and Shen Panyan didn’t want to bring up this unhappy matter again.

She suppressed the bitterness in her heart. “Lin Xiao, are we staying here tonight?”

The night was dark now. With shadows everywhere, and being deep in the mountains, it wouldn’t be safe to descend.

“Yes.” Lin Xiao nodded.

“Princess, you don’t need to be afraid. Your subordinate will guard you all night.”

Shen Panyan smiled. “Mm.”

With him here, she wasn’t afraid.

“Princess, please close your eyes.”

Shen Panyan didn’t understand, but she obediently closed her eyes.

“Pardon my intrusion.”

The next moment, Shen Panyan felt her waist being encircled, and her body instantly floated. She couldn’t help but gasp, but the next second, her feet were firmly on the ground again.

Lin Xiao had chosen a clean room.

It was still dark. Descending the mountain was too dangerous. He would be fine alone, but bringing the Princess might invite danger, so it was best to stay here for the night.

Lin Xiao lit an oil lamp, and the flickering flame immediately dispersed the darkness.

Before, fearing complications due to delay, Lin Xiao hadn’t rushed to treat the injury on the Princess’s face. Instead, he prioritized eliminating the external dangers.

Now, looking at the finger marks on the Princess’s fair face, swollen and turning bluish-black, Lin Xiao’s eyes trembled, and the fists hanging at his sides slowly clenched.

He regretted it a little. He regretted letting Li Chongshan die too quickly.

“Lin Xiao, what’s wrong?” Seeing him suddenly stop talking, Shen Panyan worried that he had been injured earlier, and her voice immediately became anxious. “Are you injured?”

She quickly stood up and reached for his arm. “Where are you injured? Let me see…”

Lin Xiao dodged her touch. “No, your subordinate is not injured.”

A mere group of unorganized mountain bandits was not enough to injure him.

His gaze fell on her cheek, and he pulled a porcelain bottle from his bosom.

“Princess, your facial injuries… use this.”

Seeing him bring up her injuries, Shen Panyan suddenly realized.

“So, you weren’t talking just now because of this?” Shen Panyan didn’t think much of it and comforted him in return. “It’s just a few slaps. Lin Xiao, don’t blame yourself. I’m fine.”

“How can you be fine!”

Back then, a mere instinctive counter-attack from him made her fingers tremble with pain. Now, such heavy injuries…

Shen Panyan was stunned for a moment. This was the first time she had seen him contradict her like this.

“I really am fine.” Shen Panyan reached out and grasped his wrist, smiling warmly. “Falling into the hands of bandits and just getting a few slaps is no big deal.”

“It’s this subordinate’s fault…” Lin Xiao’s voice lowered. He tried to pull his wrist away from her grasp, but Shen Panyan held him tighter. Fearing he might hurt the Princess, he could only give up.

“If it wasn’t for this subordinate…”

Seeing him start to blame himself again, Shen Panyan quickly reached out and covered his lips. “Enough, you are not allowed to say anything unhappy.”

“Will you apply the medicine for me?”

Suddenly having his lips covered by a warm hand, a faint fragrance lingered in his nostrils. Lin Xiao’s pupils contracted slightly. He looked at her and instinctively nodded, looking a little dazed.

Only then did Shen Panyan lower her hand, sitting on the wooden stool nearby, looking at Lin Xiao with a smile in her eyes.

The flickering candlelight danced on both of them, as if draping a soft veil over them.

Shen Panyan endured the pain, not letting out a cry.

Lin Xiao’s movements became lighter and lighter, his lips pressed into a straight line.

Sensing his restless mood, Shen Panyan twisted her robe.

She had wanted to say that she was fine, but the pain made it impossible for her to hide her trembling.

Watching his cautious demeanor, Shen Panyan suddenly remembered the past.

Before, when she fell off the cliff, Lin Xiao also applied medicine for her, but at that time, she hadn’t noticed any emotional fluctuation from him.

But now, Lin Xiao seemed to be different.

Recalling their argument back then, Shen Panyan’s heart suddenly fluttered.

“Lin Xiao, I… can I ask you a question?”

Lin Xiao’s movements paused slightly. He looked at her tearful, shimmering eyes.

“What does the Princess want to ask?”

“Are, are you still taking care of me because of the mission?” At the end, her eyes held anticipation.

Lin Xiao’s movements completely stopped. He did not answer.

Seeing him remain silent, Shen Panyan asked, “Is this question very difficult to answer?”

Lin Xiao’s voice was low and hoarse. “No, it is not difficult.”

“Then why don’t you answer me?”

Lin Xiao remained silent, not answering.

Shen Panyan lowered her eyes in disappointment.

She understood.

After he finished applying the medicine, Shen Panyan said softly, “Lin Xiao, I’m a little sleepy.”

“Then the Princess should rest early.”

Lin Xiao turned his back, retreating into the shadow. “Your subordinate will be here tonight and will not leave.”

With everything that happened tonight, Shen Panyan was indeed tired. She sat on the edge of the bed and was about to lie down in her clothes when she suddenly spoke.

“Lin Xiao, actually, I know even if you don’t say it. You are not taking care of me because of the mission anymore.”

She wasn’t stupid. How could she not feel that he was different from before?

“No matter what, I am very happy. Thank you.”

The air was utterly silent.

Lin Xiao didn’t reply.

Shen Panyan was disappointed, but she didn’t dwell on it. She lay down and fell asleep.

After she fell asleep, Lin Xiao’s figure silently appeared by her bed.

His gaze rested on her, remaining silent for a long time.

The Princess was indeed right.

He was different.

And this change made him feel confused, as well as a faint, almost undetectable fear.

Now that he was calm, Lin Xiao realized how reckless his actions had been earlier.

He decided to leave no one alive without even properly assessing the situation of the mountain stronghold. What if, what if something unexpected had happened… This was completely unlike his usual cautious behavior.

Moreover, and most importantly, this was something he did on his own accord.

Acting on one’s own accord was a grave taboo for a secret guard.

Recalling the time, it was as if he had lost control… Lin Xiao lowered his eyes.

After an unknown amount of time, Shen Panyan, in her sleep, suddenly turned over, and the quilt on her body slowly slipped down.

Lin Xiao snapped out of his thoughts, realizing he had been standing by the Princess’s bed watching her for a long time. He quickly averted his eyes, reached out to tuck the quilt back around her, and then silently melted back into the darkness, as if he had never appeared.