The Little Princess's Secret Guard - Chapter 5
Chapter 5: I Will Teach You
The days of convalescence were extremely boring. Every day was spent either lying in bed reading or staring blankly out the window.
However, with Lin Xiao present, Shen Panyan’s heart gradually settled, and she no longer suffered nightmares every night as before.
The winter nights were long, and the candles in the chamber stayed lit. Sometimes, she would suddenly wake up from a nightmare and call out Lin Xiao’s name. A figure in black would immediately appear by her bed.
“This subordinate is present.”
“Lin Xiao!”
“This subordinate is present.”
The young man’s calm, steady voice reached her ears, and Shen Panyan would peacefully drift back to sleep.
Slowly, Shen Panyan stopped having those terrible nightmares and no longer feared the dark night, because she knew someone was watching over her.
Shen Panyan’s health gradually improved, and the color returned to her pale cheeks.
Imperial Physician Lin examined her again, prescribed a new medicine, and instructed, “The Princess is greatly recovered now. She may get out of bed and walk around, which will aid in her physical recovery.”
Lying in bed was not comfortable, so Shen Panyan was extremely happy to hear she could get up.
However, her body was still too frail, and she was only allowed to walk within the room.
The winter snow had come early this year. A heavy, swirling snow had already fallen outside, bending the tree branches beneath its weight, occasionally plopping onto the ground, bringing an icy chill.
Shen Panyan sat by the bed, hugging a warm hand-warmer, gazing absentmindedly at the falling snow outside the window.
The snow this year is so heavy.
I wonder how the winter plum blossoms on the West Mountain outside the Imperial Retreat are faring? Are they still blooming proudly, just like last year?
Shen Panyan wore a snow-white fox fur cape. The silver charcoal fire kept the entire room warm, bringing a slight flush to her cheeks.
“Your Highness, time is up.”
Before leaving, Imperial Physician Lin had strictly warned against letting the Princess catch a cold or become ill again.
A person’s health is like an army in battle: first, full spirit; then, weakening; finally, exhaustion.
The Princess’s body had already endured two major struggles. A third time, and her vital energy would be completely dispersed, truly making her unsavable.
Therefore, Lin Xiao strictly controlled the time the Princess spent near the window.
With a creak, the window was mostly shut, leaving only a small gap.
I can’t look at the snow anymore… Shen Panyan felt a bit disappointed, but she obediently stood up and moved away from the window.
The chamber was only so big. Since she couldn’t go outside, walking around was still boring. Shen Panyan’s gaze inevitably landed on Lin Xiao.
He stood with his arms crossed, his head slightly lowered, leaning against the window. His black martial robe made his physique appear long and taut. He was quiet, his presence almost nonexistent.
His mask concealed his face, making it impossible to know what he was thinking.
I wonder what he looks like… A sudden surge of curiosity rose in Shen Panyan’s heart.
But she also knew it was impossible for Lin Xiao to take off his mask and show her his true face.
After all, his true master was Imperial Father, not herself.
At this thought, a sudden sadness washed over her.
If only Lin Xiao could stay by my side forever.
If only Imperial Father would give Lin Xiao to me… That’s impossible. Imperial Father doesn’t like me… Shen Panyan clenched her fingers, a dull sadness rising in her heart again.
Shen Panyan had long known that her birth mother was not the Empress, but Consort Shu, who had been the most favored in the palace back then.
She didn’t know what Consort Shu was like, but she had heard descriptions from others.
When Imperial Father first came to see her, he would sometimes talk about her birth mother, his gaze initially filled with care and nostalgia. But as she grew older, it turned into an increasingly deep disappointment. “You are growing less and less like your birth mother!”
She had heard the palace servants say that her birth mother was a very bright and cheerful woman. She dared to love and hate and wasn’t even from the capital. She was an orphaned girl Imperial Father met during his trip south, and after an accidental encounter, she followed him back to the capital and entered the palace.
Imperial Father gave her the title Consort Shu (Shu meaning gentle/virtuous), but there was nothing about her that resembled the word “Shu.”
After entering the palace, her birth mother frequently climbed trees to pick fruit and went down to the lotus pond to gather lotus seeds. Imperial Father never got angry, allowing her freedom, as long as she didn’t flip the Imperial Garden upside down.
Sometimes, hearing her birth mother’s tales from others, a sense of yearning would rise in her heart. If only she could live as freely and unrestrainedly as her mother.
If only Imperial Father could indulge her as he did her birth mother.
But she couldn’t. She hadn’t inherited any of her birth mother’s virtues.
Her personality was timid and submissive. Her speech was not endearing. If someone said two critical words, she would cry or hide. With a personality like that, how could she resemble her birth mother? It was no wonder Imperial Father looked at her with increasing disappointment, until he was no longer willing to spare her a second glance.
Shen Panyan clenched her fingers again, closing her eyes in a muffled fashion, trying to calm her emotions.
Otherwise, her heart palpitations would flare up again.
Lin Xiao naturally sensed her abnormality. He quickly came to her side and reached out to check her pulse.
Shadow Guards mostly dealt with unseen tasks, so they had to know a bit of everything.
Lin Xiao’s medical skill wasn’t proficient; he could only barely detect that her current state was very poor.
“Your Highness.”
Lin Xiao frowned, helped her to sit properly on the bed, and was about to call Imperial Physician Lin when Shen Panyan stopped him.
“Lin Xiao, don’t go.” She looked up, her gaze almost pleading. “I’m fine; I’ll be better in a moment.”
She didn’t want others to know her heart palpitations were acting up again. She didn’t want people to think she was a burden.
Qiushuang and the others already disliked her because of this; she didn’t want Lin Xiao to dislike her for the same reason.
She was fine. In the palace, she had always endured as much as she could. After so many years, she was long accustomed to it.
No one understood her body better than she did.
Lin Xiao was confused, but seeing the Princess’s pleading eyes, he paused his steps.
Her body was indeed getting better. As long as she didn’t overthink things, the palpitations would pass soon.
Lin Xiao checked her pulse and, confirming that it was indeed improving, completely abandoned the idea of finding Imperial Physician Lin.
He wanted to say something, but looking at the Princess’s pale, thin face, he swallowed his words.
Forget it. I’ll tell Imperial Physician Lin about this later.
The silver charcoal in the room was burning fiercely, making it a bit stuffy. Perhaps this was why the Princess’s palpitations recurred.
Lin Xiao walked toward the window, intending to open the gap a little wider to let the cooling air into the room.
Watching Lin Xiao’s retreating figure, Shen Panyan wrung her fingers—a specific action she took when nervous or overwhelmed.
Among the people around her, only Lin Xiao would listen to her, care for her, and mind her feelings.
I really like Lin Xiao!
“Lin Xiao…” Her voice was soft. She looked up at him.
Lin Xiao opened the window and turned back. “What are Your Highness’s orders?”
“Can you read?”
Lin Xiao was slightly puzzled. “I can.”
Shen Panyan stood up, took a miscellaneous journal she often read, and showed it to him, her almond eyes eager. “Then can you read it aloud to me?”
She knew her request was a bit abrupt, but if she were left alone, she would easily start overthinking, and overthinking would easily trigger her palpitations again.
She didn’t want to trouble the people around her, especially Lin Xiao.
Seeing Lin Xiao remain silent, Shen Panyan grew nervous. “Lin Xiao, is it not possible?”
Lin Xiao looked at the journal in his hand. It wasn’t that he was unwilling; it was that he only knew a few characters. Any more than that, and he couldn’t recognize them.
An Ying only taught him the characters for the most common secret codes. Thus, he only knew those few words.
Opening the journal, he stared at it blankly. From the dense cluster of characters, he could only faintly make out a few: today, tomorrow, have, tree…
Lin Xiao silently closed the book, handed it back to her, his voice sounding embarrassed for the first time. “Your Highness, this subordinate does not recognize this many characters.”
Shen Panyan was completely surprised by his answer. She blinked, a look of astonishment in her eyes.
Suddenly, she chuckled!
I thought Lin Xiao was unwilling… I didn’t expect it to be because of this reason?
Shen Panyan took the journal, smiling brightly. “It’s alright, Lin Xiao. I’ll teach you.”
She stood up, walking briskly toward the study partition, and beckoned to him. “Lin Xiao, come with me quickly!”
The Princess wants to teach me to read?
Lin Xiao’s pupils contracted slightly.
Shadow Guards were not allowed to recognize too many characters. They only needed to understand the characters required for secret codes.
There were many ways to torture people in this world. Even if a Shadow Guard had undergone all the training in the camp and was battle-hardened, there was no guarantee they wouldn’t divulge secrets if captured.
Therefore, in the Shadow Guard camp, everyone’s duties differed. Someone else was responsible for gathering intelligence. He was a Shadow Guard responsible for transport and message delivery, occasionally serving as the Emperor’s personal guard. Only those ranking An Wu (Shadow Five) and above were allowed to read. He was An Jiu (Shadow Nine).
But now, the Princess wanted to teach him to read…
Lin Xiao looked hesitant. This seriously violated the rules set by the Shadow Guard camp.
Seeing Lin Xiao standing still, Shen Panyan turned back, confused. “Lin Xiao, what’s wrong?”
Lin Xiao hesitated for a long time, then knelt halfway. “Please punish this subordinate, Your Highness. This subordinate cannot learn to read.”
Why?
Shen Panyan was puzzled.
Suddenly, she realized. Lin Xiao was her Imperial Father’s Shadow Guard, and he would have to return to her Imperial Father’s side.
This rule against learning to read must have been set by her Imperial Father.
Shen Panyan reached out to help him up. “I don’t blame you. Please get up quickly.”
Lin Xiao stood.
Shen Panyan looked at Lin Xiao, biting her lip, feeling a little frustrated.
Why can’t such a good person like Lin Xiao learn to read?
She had always loved reading. Books contained many interesting stories, and those stories had sustained her through those difficult days in the palace, one after another.
She read when sad and when happy. Books carried so much of her yearning. If it weren’t for books, she wouldn’t have known the world was so vast, that besides the high palace walls, there were the wealthy water towns of Jiangnan, the mighty Yellow River, and the Yangtze River…
Those colorful worlds were the ones she yearned for.
She genuinely felt regret and sadness that Lin Xiao couldn’t learn to read.
But she also didn’t want to harm Lin Xiao.
Shen Panyan pondered for a moment…
Suddenly, a thought flashed in her mind, and she came up with a compromise. “Lin Xiao, how about I read the books to you?”
Lin Xiao didn’t speak.
The snow outside grew heavier, and the whole world seemed to stand still in the silence.
Shen Panyan thought her idea was excellent. Since Lin Xiao couldn’t read, she would read to him.
She wanted to share the world she loved with Lin Xiao.
At this thought, Shen Panyan’s eyebrows relaxed, and a smile appeared in her eyes. “Lin Xiao, come here. I’ll read to you.”
She walked to the window. Lin Xiao had covered half the window. Blending with the sounds of the wind and snow outside, the Princess’s clear, gentle voice fell upon his ears.
She had Lin Xiao stand behind her. Her soft, scallion-like fingertips lightly traced the vertical lines of characters as she read.
From his angle, he could see everything clearly.
If he were so inclined, he could learn to read just like this.
Lin Xiao stood behind the Princess, his gaze not focused on the book, but on the Princess herself.
The confusion in his eyes deepened.
He was just a Shadow Guard, a blade, a tool. Why did the Princess want to teach him to read?
A blade did not need its own thoughts. In the Shadow Guard camp, Lin Xiao had been suppressed again and again by An Ying because of his fierce nature and occasional tendency to form his own ideas. If not for that, he would not be An Jiu but would have long been the top man under An Ying.
Now, compared to the other Shadow Guards, he had another exception.