"The Mortal Chapter Of Qing Zhuan" - Chapter 15

The Overdue Affection

“Wen Wen, I really think you misunderstood her…”

“Ji Chang, I don’t know how to explain all this to her. After all, I’ve made so many mistakes! Will she forgive me? Help me, brother!”

Gao felt bad reading the text message. He didn’t want Wen Wen to disrupt my life again, but at the same time, he wanted me to resolve this lingering issue. So he could only watch me from afar, in silence.

“Da Yuan Zi, how about I take you to the county town tomorrow and we walk around?”

I looked at Gao’s message and replied, “Sounds great! What time?”

“I’ll come by at six in the morning, and we’ll catch the six-thirty bus. Make sure you wake up early so we don’t miss it! And bring your wallet and phone! If you’re afraid you’ll forget, put them in your bag tonight. See you tomorrow, Da Yuan Zi. Get some rest, goodnight!”

I replied, “Goodnight!”

My mom walked over with a big cookie and asked, “What are you doing?”

I put my phone and wallet in my backpack. “It’s Gao. He’s taking me to the county town tomorrow, and he told me to bring my phone and wallet and to go to bed early.”

My dad looked at me with an approving expression. “Mmm, okay. Wake up early tomorrow and dress up nicely to go out with him. Don’t look like a country bumpkin.”

My mom covered her mouth, laughing. “Hahaha, a country bumpkin! Hahahaha…”

I pouted and gently squeezed my dad’s cheeks. “Dad, I’m your own daughter, your flesh and bl00d! What’s wrong with you!”

My dad chuckled and patted me. “Alright, alright, my dear daughter, go wash up and go to sleep! Don’t miss the bus tomorrow. Hurry!”

My mom stroked my head and said, “Go on, our family’s head housekeeper has spoken!”

I did a half-bow and replied, “Your servant obeys your command, hahaha…”

As I was washing my face outside the door, I overheard my parents’ conversation: “Wife, I think Ji Chang is a really good kid. He’s polite, sensible, smart, witty, and humorous. A good kid…”

“Oh, stop worrying, old man! You know your daughter. That blockhead of hers, what does she understand? Besides, she’s still young! What’s the rush!”

I flashed over to their window, my face covered in foam, and asked, “Hehehe, I caught you! What were you two talking about behind my back? Confess!”

My mom looked at my foamy face, laughing so hard she was patting her stomach. She said to my dad, “Look at her, your daughter, she’s hilarious! Hahahaha…”

Both my dad and mom were doubled over with laughter. I reluctantly moved back to the door and continued washing my face.

Early the next morning, I saw Gao riding his bicycle toward my house. He came to a perfect stop, drawing an arc on the ground with his tires. “Morning, Uncle, where’s Auntie?”

“She went to the garden to pick beans. You look handsome, young man!” my dad praised him.

“Is Da Yuan Zi up yet?”

“She’s getting ready inside! Come on, let’s go have some tea under the grape trellis and wait for your auntie to come back for breakfast!”

I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed with emotion. “It’s been so long since I’ve worn this white dress! The last time was over a year ago! Time really flies! In a blink, Mimi has been gone for over a year!”

My mom came in with a basket of vegetables and saw Gao and Dad drinking tea early in the morning. “Old man, drinking tea again so early? And you’ve brought a little follower this time!”

“Auntie, this Longjing tea is really good. And drinking tea in the morning helps with sleepiness, it’s great! Want some?”

Mom saw how much Gao was enjoying it and replied, “Alright, alright, don’t drink so much tea. Breakfast is almost ready!” She then yelled, “My dear daughter, breakfast is ready! Ji Chang is here, are you done yet!”

I came out with the dishes. “I’m ready, Mom! Let’s eat!”

Gao looked at me in a dress for the first time in a while and grinned goofily. “Mmm, nice. Da Yuan Zi looks so much better in a dress!”

I raised an eyebrow and asked, “What, so I don’t look good when I’m not wearing a dress?”

Gao quickly waved his hands to explain. “No, no, you look good, you look good no matter what you wear…”

My dad looked at us playfully bickering and smiled knowingly. “These two kids, they’re so good!”

After breakfast, Gao rode me to the bus station. Sitting on the back seat he had specially padded, I asked, “Gao, this little cushion you tied on is pretty nice.”

“Of course, you know who picked it out for you. I know you well enough!”

We went over one hill after another, and with each bump, my butt got sore. “Gao, your riding skills are terrible. My butt is about to be shattered!”

“Da Yuan Zi, hold on tight, we’re going downhill! I’m going to give you a taste of the fun of cycling, hahahaha…”

I stared at the big slope ahead, my eyes wide, and yelled, “Gao, how can you… this slope is too…” The next thing I knew, my mouth was full of wind. Before I could recover, there was another bump that almost threw me off the bike.

I wrapped my arms tightly around Gao’s waist, afraid of being thrown off again. Gao secretly smiled. Leaning against his back, a fresh lemon laundry detergent scent filled my nostrils. The smell gave me a sense of peace.

Finally, we made it to the bus station. Gao looked at my wind-blown hair and instinctively reached out to fix it. When I looked up at him, his hand, suspended in mid-air, was flustered and didn’t know where to go. In the end, he could only lightly tap my forehead. “Hurry and fix yourself up, the bus is coming…”

Once we were on the bus, a refreshing breeze came over me, and I started to feel sleepy again. After a struggle, my eyelids finally closed. Gao looked at my sleeping form and gently pulled me into his arms.

“Da Yuan Zi, we’re here! Wake up!”

I opened my eyes sleepily. “Mmm, we got here so fast! I didn’t get enough sleep…”

“You didn’t get enough sleep? If you slept any longer, my arm would need to be amputated!”

“Huh? What happened?”

“Miss, you’ve been sleeping on my arm the whole way! My arm is numb! And you still want to sleep!”

I smiled sheepishly. “Oh, Gao, you’ve worked so hard. I’ll massage your shoulders and arms for you…”

Gao was finally satisfied. “Alright, hurry and get off the bus!”

Just as we got off the bus, we saw an unexpected person waiting for us at the station. I turned to walk back, but Gao quickly grabbed me. “Where are you going?”

“Home!”

Gao asked in confusion, “Why are you going back right after we just got here?”

“Ji Chang! Over here!” With Wen Wen’s call, Gao pulled me in his direction.

“How did you get here so early?” Gao asked.

Wen Wen replied, “Mmm, I came back yesterday and stayed at my uncle’s house for the night. I came straight here this morning.”

I ignored him and pulled Gao. “Let’s go, Gao, come with me to the mall!”

Gao, being pulled by me, yelled at Wen Wen, “Let’s go! What are you thinking about?”

Wen Wen came to my side and asked, “Yuan Zi, you…”

I ignored him and walked to Gao’s other side. Gao nudged me awkwardly. “What are you doing! He’s talking to you!”

I ignored him and just walked quickly forward, leaving the two of them behind, whispering about me.

“No, she…” Wen Wen looked at Gao, bewildered.

“Uh, she’s probably going to the bathroom…” Gao scratched his head awkwardly.

“Hey, forget it. You two go ahead. Maybe it’s not the right time! I’m leaving! We’ll talk later!”

“Hey, hey, Wen Wen, don’t go! Don’t… Is he really leaving?”

Gao turned around helplessly and saw a jewelry store. He ran in and looked around. “This one, how much is it?”

“You have good taste, young man. This is five yuan.”

“Five yuan! That’s so expensive! Mmm…”

“Since you like it so much, I’ll give you a discount. Four yuan, no lower! Or I won’t even make my money back!”

“Hehe, okay! Here you go! Sister, do you have a little box?”

“Yes, yes, I’ll pack it for you! This is for a girl you like, isn’t it, you little rascal! Here you go, it’s packed! Come again!”

Gao nodded and chased after me. “You’re being stubborn again! Like an old bull, you can’t be pulled back! Here!”

I said angrily, “I don’t want it!”

“Hey you! I bought this for you!”

I covered my face, laughing. “You didn’t make it clear! I thought it was…”

“He left!”

“Where did he go? He was just behind us! Why did he just leave like that!”

“So you do remember he was there! Look at you, you’re like a stubborn mule! Who else would put up with you besides me! And you’re still asking! Who wouldn’t get mad and leave because of you!”

I opened the little pink box and saw a sparkling hair clip. I was instantly captivated. “Wow! It’s so pretty! Gao! I love this hair clip so much! You’re so good at picking things!”

“I’m glad you like it! Who do you think I am? I know you too well! Alright, where else do you want to go?”

“Gao! Do you want to get some ice cream?”

“Ice cream! Let’s go! Let’s get some!”

We wandered around the mall for the whole morning, and Gao’s hands were full of bags.

“Hurry, Gao! We’re going to miss the bus!”

“It’s easy for you to say! Look at how many things I’m carrying!”

“Ah, my gosh, we finally got on the bus! Why is it suddenly raining! It was sunny this morning!”

Gao wiped the sweat from his forehead. “The rainy season has started. It’s normal. But if this heavy rain continues, the fish in the reservoir will probably be washed out again!” He took out a tissue and handed it to me. “Here, wipe your face! Don’t catch a cold from the wind!”

When we got home, we saw my fourth aunt wrapping dumplings with my mom. My mom said, “These two kids are soaked! Go change your clothes!”

After my hair dried, I held the little hair clip up to my head, comparing it. My dad walked by. “Looking pretty? Hahaha, that little clip is pretty cute. Who bought it for you?”

“Gao, of course. I think it’s pretty too! Dad, how does it look on me?”

“It doesn’t look good. Come here, let me put it on for you.” Gao stood in front of me, a head taller than me now. I couldn’t help but sigh. “Sigh! We said we’d walk together, but you’ve gotten a head taller than me. From now on, I have to look up at you!”

My dad, eating a banana, laughed. “Hahaha, who’s to blame if you’re growing so slowly!”

“It’s okay, Da Yuan Zi. From now on, your brother’s got your back! Hahaha.”

The rain outside grew heavier. In Wen Wen’s family’s abandoned vegetable garden, the white roses had already withered. The rain fell fast and thick. My dad looked out the window. “This rain! The river is rising!”

Gao handed me a bottle of AD milk. “It’s the rainy season now, it’s normal! But if this heavy rain keeps up, I bet the fish in the reservoir will be washed out again!”

“Old man, get the table on the heated bed. Dinner’s ready!”

My mom made dumplings with pork and baby cabbage. The baby cabbage from the garden was super tender and fresh. With one bite, it was full of juice, truly bursting with flavor!

Time passed quickly, and in the blink of an eye, it was middle school. Everything here was different from elementary school. Although the middle school was just across the road from the elementary school, the people here seemed to have shed their childhood innocence and were stepping into the awkward rebellion of adolescence.

Here, dating and going to internet cafes were commonplace behaviors, but I seemed to be an unmovable rock, unable to understand relationships between boys and girls. Just like with Wen Wen, I could never figure out what kind of feelings we had for each other.

Since our last unpleasant encounter, Gao and I hadn’t heard from Wen Wen in a long time. Gao was the only one I could confide in.

After starting middle school, there were few of my old elementary school classmates in my class, and I gradually became more introverted and quiet. I was no longer as playful as I was in elementary school. As the pressure of schoolwork increased, I had even less time to think about other things. To have more time for studying, I even cut my hair short.

Looking at myself in the mirror, looking like a boy, I mumbled, “I cut my long hair, so I guess I’m saying goodbye to my old self! The misunderstanding between us can’t be resolved anyway, so maybe this is for the best!”

In a flash, the final exams were over. I walked out of the exam hall and rode my bike home as usual. Gao rode beside me. “Da Yuan Zi, it’s a holiday, let’s go out and have some fun.”

I replied, “It’s the dead of winter. I don’t want to go out.”

Gao said, “Are you sure you don’t want to go? But I think if you go, there might be someone you’re interested in.”

I ignored him and just said, “Boring!” and pedaled faster. He caught up and said from behind, “Wen Wen is coming back for the new year, and everyone wants to get together. Aren’t you coming?”

When I heard that name, my heart still trembled. “No, my dad won’t let me go out. You guys have fun, and say hello for me when you see him.”

Gao said, “Tsk tsk tsk, I’m not going to pass that on for you. You have to go and tell him yourself. You two are so interesting. You care about each other, but the words that come out of your mouths are so cold! Colder than this winter!”

Hearing this, I asked curiously, “What?! What did he say?”

Gao replied triumphantly, “If you want to know, meet me at the small pavilion on the second day of the new year, and I’ll take you to ask him!” With that, he sped away.

My heart was filled with curiosity, but more so with anxiety and unease. I didn’t know how to face him, or how to apologize. I just felt that if we met again, the conflict between our families might only worsen!

The new year arrived in the blink of an eye. Every household was decorated with lanterns and colored streamers, and the sound of firecrackers echoed in the sky. My mom told me, “We’re going to your grandma’s house on the second day of the new year. Make sure you get yourself ready.”

Early on the second day, Gao called. “Da Yuan Zi, what time are you coming? Everyone’s waiting for you.”

I answered with difficulty, “You guys get together. I have to go to my grandma’s house today. Please wish everyone a happy new year for me.”

Gao had the phone on speaker. When Wen Wen heard it, they looked at each other, and Gao shrugged helplessly. “Well, there’s nothing we can do. She’s going to visit her grandma! Should we still wait for her?”

Wen Wen lowered his head and rubbed his fingertips together. “Let’s just eat.”

At my grandma’s house, the adults were drinking and chatting on the heated bed, while the children were playing. It was a joyful scene. I sat in a corner, watching the snow fall outside, thinking, “I didn’t go see him today. I wonder how he feels.” But then I thought, maybe he would have felt awkward seeing me. So, it’s good that I didn’t go. It saved us from an awkward situation.

I had a great time at my grandma’s, gossiping with my family about their school lives.

“Yuan, are there any boys chasing you?” my second sister asked gossiping.

“No, I don’t have anyone chasing me!”

Everyone teased and played, and the night passed in a peaceful atmosphere.

The next day, after we got home, I rushed to check our landline. Sure enough, it showed ten missed calls. Yes, they were all from Gao. I called him back, and a sound of exasperation came from the other end. “You finally called back! Why didn’t you have your phone with you?” I replied, “My phone is broken. I don’t have a phone anymore!”

“Wen Wen already left. He waited for you all day yesterday, from morning until night. Everyone else left, but he was still waiting. I couldn’t even wait anymore and went home. When I called him, he was still waiting. He said you would come, but you never did.”

I replied, “Didn’t I say I wasn’t going? Why did he keep waiting? Didn’t Uncle Yin tell him to leave?”

Gao replied, “Uncle Yin said that there weren’t many customers at the small pavilion at night, so he wasn’t going to turn on the heater. He told him to lock up when he left. Who knows what time he left. I didn’t ask him this morning. How about I give you his new phone number, and you can ask him yourself.” With that, he rattled off a string of numbers.

Hearing the numbers, I fell into deep thought. But after thinking for half an hour, I dialed the number. “Beep, beep, beep… Hello?”

I replied nervously, “Happy New Year, Wen Wen. It’s Yuan Zi. I went to my grandma’s house yesterday and just got back today. So, you, what about, did you leave yet?”

Wen Wen replied, “Happy New Year, Yuan Zi. I haven’t left yet. I’m at my grandpa’s house. I should be going back to Beijing this afternoon. I, I have a few things I want to tell you in person. Can you come out? I’ll wait for you at the small pavilion.”

Hearing this, I fell into deep thought again. After a few seconds, I replied, “Okay, what time?”

“It’s nine-thirty now. Can I treat you to a meal at the small pavilion? Can you come?”

I looked at the clock on the wall and replied, “Okay, I’ll talk to my mom, and I’ll be there to find you in a bit.”

With that, I hung up. I told my mom about it, and she probably thought it was time for us to resolve our misunderstanding. She said, “Go. Take some money. Don’t let him pay for the meal. When you’re done, give him the money. Come home early.”

“Don’t worry, Mom, I will. I’ll be back after we eat. I’ll definitely be back before three in the afternoon. Help me cover for it, or Dad will get mad again.”

My mom smiled. “I know. Hurry and go. Talk to him nicely.”

With that, I got up and went to the small pavilion. Uncle Yin saw me from a distance and said, “You’re here, Yuan Zi. Happy New Year, Happy New Year…”

I quickly replied, “Happy New Year, Uncle Yin. Wishing you a prosperous business.”

I must mention here that the small pavilion was a homestay-style farmhouse run by a man named Yin Fa, the Uncle Yin I mentioned before.

I walked in and saw Wen Wen sitting on the heated bed. He looked more mature now, having shed his youthful innocence. He had become even more handsome. I tiptoed to the edge of the heated bed and sat down. “Happy New Year… Happy New Year,” followed by an awkward smile.

He looked at me in confusion and asked, “Why did you cut your hair so short? You look like a boy. You’re not as cute as you were with long hair.”

I heard him and replied, “You wouldn’t understand. Long hair takes too much time. Now that I’m in middle school, I have so much to memorize every day, and I was afraid I wouldn’t have enough time, so I cut it short. Plus, short hair is easy to manage.”

Wen Wen didn’t say anything more after hearing that. Soon, the dishes were all served. I took a look and saw that they were all my favorite foods. When we were little, the adults didn’t let us go to the small pavilion, so we’d sneak in. Back then, our favorite dish was the snowy cotton bean paste.

Our family didn’t know how to make it, but it would be served at weddings in the village. We would always rush to eat it, and he would always save the last one for me, which I would happily eat. He picked one up with his chopsticks and put it in my bowl. “Try it. How does it taste?”

I put it in my mouth and chewed. “Mmm, it’s delicious. It tastes just like the one at the wedding banquet we went to the first time.”

His amber eyes suddenly became clear. There was more warmth and less coolness in his eyes.

I asked him, “Why are you rushing back this time?”

“My dad signed me up for a winter math class and a French class, so I have to go back as soon as possible. I also have to participate in the math winter camp competition.”

After hearing that, a thought rose in my mind. “So your uncle really made a lot of money these past few years. Your studies are getting heavier. I wonder if you still hate studying as much as you did when you were a kid.” I started to imagine him encountering funny situations in class, and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. I looked up and met his eyes, and before I could look away, I laughed again.

He looked at me confusedly and asked, “What are you laughing at by yourself? What happened to you in just one year?”

I stopped laughing and answered, “Nothing, I just suddenly remembered something funny and couldn’t help but laugh.”

He frowned, and his previous gentle expression was gone. He asked coldly, “Hehe, it seems like you’ve been living quite happily this past year without me!”

When I heard that, the hair on my arms stood up. I quickly asked, “So you mean you haven’t been doing well this past year without me?”

He lowered his head and started playing with his phone, and I felt extremely awkward at that moment. After a while, he asked me, “What’s your chat ID?” I replied, “I don’t have a chat ID. My mom hasn’t bought me a phone yet.”

His eyes widened, and he asked blankly, “Are you kidding me? You don’t have a phone? You don’t have a chat ID?”

I said dumbfounded, “Yeah, I don’t. I used to have one, but it broke, and I can’t use it anymore! What’s the big deal?”

He actually laughed. I was terrified at that moment, as if he was about to mock me. He said, “Then remember my chat ID. When you get a phone, remember to add me.”

“No need. Maybe I won’t use that chat ID in the future. If there’s a new chat app, I’ll use that.”

His smile disappeared instantly, and a hint of sadness appeared in his eyes. After a long time, he spoke. “Just remember it. I won’t change my chat ID. You can always find me if you want to. If you get a new way to contact me, remember to tell me. When you add me, just put who you are in the notes, and I’ll accept.”

Hearing all that, I suddenly said, “I’m sorry, Wen Wen. I’m so sorry about what happened a year ago. I’ve been thinking about how to apologize to you, but when I face you, I always get tongue-tied! I know you might not forgive me, and I don’t expect you to. I just want that happy boy to come back and be yourself, really, Wen Wen.”

He stammered, “I, actually, I don’t blame you anymore. After all, you really couldn’t have done anything at the time. Besides, if you have to bear the grudges of our parents’ generation, then what does our friendship all these years mean? Actually, I want to say, let’s be friends again, like we used to, playing and laughing. Yuan Zi, are you still willing to be my friend?”

When I heard what he said, the huge stone in my heart finally dropped. “I’m going back to Jingping this afternoon, and I don’t know when I’ll see you again. Take good care of yourself. If you’re in a bad mood, remember to call me. I don’t dare call your house again. If your dad answers, he’ll just scold me again.”

Suddenly, a light bulb went off in his head, and he looked at me. “Yuan Zi, I have a great idea. Let’s go to a phone store later, and I’ll buy you a phone. That way, I can help you register a chat ID, and I can find you every day.”

Looking at his goofy smile, I also laughed. “How can I let you buy me a phone? Phones are expensive. Besides, if my parents find out, they’ll definitely ask me about it. What am I going to tell them? And if we chat every day, will it affect your studies? I heard that students in Beijing are very smart, and they have tight schedules. I don’t want you to fall behind because of me.”

Wen Wen held my hand firmly and looked at me. “If my grades drop, it’s because my own ability is lacking. How can I blame others for that? If I can’t see you in the future, my grades might drop.”

“Why would that happen?”

He suddenly hugged me. I was blank and couldn’t move. It was the first time I heard the words “I like you” from Wen Wen. Although Wen Wen’s mom always teased me about being his future wife, I always thought she was joking. For Wen Wen, I always felt more like a brother.

But after he said those words, I felt like my face was on fire, the heat spreading to my neck. He whispered in my ear, and I felt like my ears were on fire too.

So shy that I buried my face in his chest, I mumbled, “Are, are you for real?”

He said softly, “What else? Why do you think I waited so long for you yesterday and came again today? And all our past experiences are proof of my affection for you! Do you remember that time? The time we fought the bad guys? Do you remember what I said to you then?”

I looked at him, at his handsome and refined face. My memory took me back to that time when he was beaten black and blue, but he smiled and said to me, “Don’t, don’t be scared, Yuan Zi. I’m here. I won’t let them hurt you! Don’t be scared!”

Looking into his affectionate eyes, I felt a special warmth in my heart.

“I’ve liked you for many years, since preschool. You were so small, with big eyes, looking so lively and lovable. Later, we played and laughed together, and even went through life and death together. You’ve long been more than just a friend in my life. At first, I wasn’t sure what my feelings for you were. I just knew I wanted to always be with you, to always see your smile, and later, to marry you. The emotional journey in between made it harder and harder for me to let go of my feelings for you, and I slowly realized that I was falling deeper and deeper for you! Do you remember the time we caught stars together? Seeing you under the moonlight, that was the first time I felt the urge to kiss you! You had long hair and a white dress. When you were playing in the water, seeing your smile, I felt that even the moon in the sky had lost its luster. But I was afraid my impulse would scare you, so I held back! And the last time we picked grapes together, seeing your profile under the grape trellis, with the sunlight on your face, and your long eyelashes fluttering like butterflies on your sparkling eyes, I was mesmerized. So this time, I can’t run away from my feelings anymore. The coldness I pretended to have after that incident was too painful for me! Do you know how hard it was to pretend to be cold every time I saw you walk past me? And after school, seeing your lonely figure from the car window, my heart would ache so much!”