The Paranoid Film Queen Doesn’t Want to Remarry - Chapter 19
Chapter 19
But the relationship between the two had already changed in many ways.
Xu Weishuang was intimately familiar with Yan Muyu’s closeness — her body responded with instinctive compliance, but in her mind, countless barriers had quietly arisen.
And yet, when Yan Muyu kissed the side of her neck, her senses were once again completely overtaken.
The warm, damp air, the fragrance filling the bathroom — it confused her, seduced her.
Xu Weishuang couldn’t tell whether it was the scent of the body wash or the intoxicating scent that naturally clung to Yan Muyu.
She couldn’t distinguish whether it was cool droplets of water trailing down her neck or the burning softness of Yan Muyu’s lips.
She was far too used to Yan Muyu’s touch — too easily swayed by her.
She could have refused. Legally, they were still married, but emotionally, they were already in a state of separation.
Yet Yan Muyu’s lips pressed against hers, swiftly prying them open, dominating her mouth so that she couldn’t utter a word.
Her kiss was urgent — pouring all her heat into it at once. It was scorching, and all Xu Weishuang could do was passively receive it, never managing to voice a single word of refusal.
But did she really want to refuse?
Even if she couldn’t speak, she could’ve pushed her away.
Yan Muyu was holding her waist, but she wasn’t restraining her.
And yet Xu Weishuang did nothing — just tilted her head back and passively accepted what Yan Muyu gave her.
Her arms wrapped around Yan Muyu in return. Rarely were they in a moment where Yan Muyu was completely bare and she was still fully clothed.
Yan Muyu’s body, like her usual image, was smooth and soft, yet toned and powerful from years of training — the beauty of strength within gentleness.
Like a priceless piece of jade — flawless, radiant, and silky to the touch.
Xu Weishuang’s fingers lingered on her, as if tracing fine silk — her fingertips met only smoothness and elegance.
Once again, she accepted this intimacy, entangled with Yan Muyu — but her state of mind had subtly shifted.
Her thoughts returned again to that moment earlier, when Yan Muyu walked through the rain toward her — a blurry silhouette beneath the falling curtain of water, stripped of all her usual radiance.
Rain soaked her to the bone, darkening everything about her.
That wasn’t the usual Yan Muyu. That wasn’t the person others saw when they looked at her.
Even in private, even when she was just with Xu Weishuang, Yan Muyu was never dull.
Cold, proud, obsessive, intense — not approachable, but even more like someone born to rule, someone utterly dominant and impossible to defy.
The light she radiated was usually scorching — bright enough to burn.
She was never the kind of figure who would emerge from a shadowy, damp fog — not so unfamiliar, so foreign, as she had appeared in the rain.
Only when Yan Muyu finally smiled again just now did Xu Weishuang find something familiar in her once more — did the unsettled feeling inside her begin to calm.
She had never seen that version of Yan Muyu before — and that expression haunted her.
Opening her eyes now, she looked at Yan Muyu’s face. The woman had lowered her gaze as she kissed her, allowing Xu Weishuang to clearly see the emotions hidden in her eyes.
A hazy kind of love, overflowing joy, and the thick mist of the bathroom all mingled together.
Love?
Xu Weishuang’s breath stopped for a moment.
How could Yan Muyu possibly love her?
The thought was so unbelievable that Xu Weishuang instinctively broke away from Yan Muyu’s kiss.
Yan Muyu paused, gazing at her — and in that instant, the love Xu Weishuang thought she saw in her eyes vanished completely, as if it had all been a hallucination.
Lowering her head, Xu Weishuang stared at the green tiles adorned with little yellow warbler motifs in the bathroom.
Yes, it had to be a mistake.
Just her vision clouded by the steam.
Yan Muyu couldn’t love her. There should be no love between them.
Love was a shackle. A stripping away. A cage one person built around another.
Xu Weishuang didn’t want to be imprisoned.
“Are you rejecting me?” Yan Muyu asked, not understanding what was going through Xu Weishuang’s mind — surprised that she had pulled away.
There was a subtle forcefulness in her voice, even though she smiled — a smile that didn’t bring any ease.
Xu Weishuang knew this side of her well — and often yielded to it.
So she lightly shook her head and leaned forward, kissing the corner of Yan Muyu’s lips.
It was a restrained kiss. She rarely initiated, but she knew well that even the smallest gesture of initiative from her would please Yan Muyu.
“Do you know why I came to find you?” This time, Yan Muyu didn’t look pleased by the kiss. Instead, she asked the question Xu Weishuang had been wondering about.
Xu Weishuang, of course, didn’t know. Still pressing close to Yan Muyu’s lips, she shook her head.
Their mouths were just barely brushing against each other — their breaths mingled, their bodies flushed with tension.
But Yan Muyu remained unhurried, pressing her lips along the shape of Xu Weishuang’s, voice controlled and low:
“Because you left on your own. Because you made me unhappy.”
It was the kind of thing Yan Muyu only said when she was in a certain mood.
Just an excuse to regain control — to punish Xu Weishuang.
But Xu Weishuang had already declared an end. Her choices were no longer supposed to concern Yan Muyu.
She knew that clearly — and yet that line stirred her, threw her into chaos.
Still, the chaos wasn’t hers alone. Their relationship had never been normal — not from the moment they met or married.
Now, with Yan Muyu pressing their lips together again, whispering these reprimands — it was no more rational than anything else between them.
“You need to be punished,” Yan Muyu finally said, before kissing her once more.
The sweetness of her breath wrapped itself around Xu Weishuang. And the moment she heard the word “punished,” her heart gave a visible jolt.
“Are you rejecting me?” Yan Muyu repeated, as if reading her thoughts — pulling back just slightly to force the question on her again.
Xu Weishuang had every right to refuse. She always had.
But she never had — not with Yan Muyu.
She’d brought her back here. Let her pull her into the bathroom. Kissed her first just a moment ago.
Yan Muyu knew all that — yet she still wanted to hear her say it.
This too was part of the punishment.
After all, Xu Weishuang was the one who asked for the divorce. Who said things should end.
And yet she was still here, tangled up in this.
Who was the one crossing boundaries now? Who was the one breaking their promises?
“Please… punish me,” Xu Weishuang finally said.
Her mind was reeling as she spoke. Every kiss that followed made her body respond more intensely, more eagerly.
She couldn’t say she disliked it. She had never said she didn’t enjoy the way Yan Muyu treated her.
Yan Muyu let out a soft laugh — a faint sound that sent tingles down Xu Weishuang’s spine.
“Open your eyes, Xiaoshuang.” Her voice was laced with even more amusement now. She pulled Xu Weishuang in front of the mirror in the bathroom, hugging her tightly from behind.
Obediently, Xu Weishuang complied, lifting her gaze toward the reflection.
She saw herself — drenched, her long hair plastered to her body, droplets still clinging to her face where Yan Muyu had kissed her.
Her clothes were soaked through, thin fabric barely concealing the skin underneath.
She tried hard to maintain a cold expression, to suppress her reaction.
But Yan Muyu wanted her to see — to see what she looked like now, with fingers slipping into her mouth, parting her lips and taking her completely.
To see her carefully crafted aloofness fall apart. To see the unconscious desire in her eyes, the heat in her face, the way her lips trembled.
It felt so good.
Xu Weishuang saw it too — saw all of it in her own eyes, every exposed emotion laid bare.