The Reincarnated Transcendent Wants to Fill the Hole in Their Chest - Episode 4: God

Episode 4: God

A large hallway led to the instructor’s room. From behind a pillar in one corner, a shadow watched Konoe.

In the stillness of the deep night, in a dim place illuminated only by wall lamps, a pure white figure stood shining.

—It was God.

A manifestation of the God of Life Magic. A girl so beautiful she seemed artificial stared directly at Konoe.

“……”

…For some reason, Konoe thought her expression looked a little sad.

Konoe wondered why God was looking at him with such eyes.

Maybe she realized he was thinking of quitting? No, no—God wouldn’t look sad just because someone like him wanted to quit.

He didn’t understand. But even so, he couldn’t look away from the gaze of this divine figure. And so, for a while, Konoe and God simply stared at each other.

“……”

After some time, God motioned with her hand. She was beckoning him as if to say, “Come here.”

She gestured directly toward Konoe.

“……?”

In response, Konoe looked over his shoulder. Maybe someone else was behind him? A habit born from his social anxiety. But no one was there. When he looked forward again, God still beckoned, with a slightly puzzled look.

Konoe pointed to himself. God nodded immediately.

“……”

Konoe took a step toward her, and she began to walk too. Ahead, there was a room.

Konoe followed. A question mark was lingering in his mind, tension in his chest. But he wasn’t bold enough to turn and run from someone like her.

—Inside the room, there was only a table and two chairs.

A tea set rested on the table, with some sweets prepared alongside.

God sat in one chair. She motioned to the other with her hand.

Konoe hesitantly pulled the chair and sat down. God, glancing at him sideways, reached for the tea set.

“…………”

“…………”

God poured tea into a cup. That sound was the only thing that echoed in the room.

She filled two cups. One was gently placed before Konoe.

God gestured—“Please, help yourself.”

She didn’t speak. Except during blessings or special occasions, this deity never opened her mouth. Konoe knew this.

—Because in this world, the words of a god are absolute.

Humans must not disobey a god. Doing so would mean losing their divine protection. Therefore, the words of a god are not mere conversation, but commands. And so, this god did not speak.

She knew that even her casual words could cause humans suffering.

“……”

Now, in front of Konoe, was not a command, but tea and sweets kindly offered by God.

“……”

He reached for the cup and took a sip.

A pleasant aroma filled his nose. And the perfectly warm tea gently flowed down into his stomach.

“……Delicious.”

He murmured, exhaling softly. Some of the tension in his shoulders seemed to ease.

…Then came another moment of silence.

Suddenly, God smiled at Konoe and tilted her head.

For some reason—Konoe could feel it.

【—Is the training hard?】

Though she said nothing, he felt she was asking him this.

That was when Konoe finally accepted it. The reason she called him tonight. She knew he was trying to quit the training, and that’s why she reached out.

Faced with that divine presence, Konoe hesitated over how to respond.

“…Yes. It’s hard.”

His true feelings slipped out, without any attempt to hide them. Maybe it was the warmth of the tea loosening his lips. Or maybe it was the gentleness in God’s smile.

And then, he felt it.

【It really has been tough, hasn’t it? A year and some months since you came here—well done.】

“…Thank you.”

Surprised, Konoe returned her kind sentiment with a bow. What shocked him was that God, a being so far above, knew exactly how long he’d been here. He never imagined she’d be aware of an apprentice like him.

Well, considering she reached out like this, maybe it’s only natural. But still, Konoe couldn’t help thinking: someone like her, knowing someone like me?

【But… you’ve reached your limit?】

“…Yes.”

【—I see. You’ve worked so hard.】

A lonely feeling came from God.

He could sense her genuine disappointment.

“…!”

Ashamed, Konoe felt the sting of his own weakness. He was embarrassed by his complaints, and almost blurted out that he wouldn’t quit after all—

“……”

—But it really was his limit.

He already understood.

This past year had only been the beginning of the Adept training. But he had worked hard enough to see what lay ahead.

—Konoe had no talent for life magic.

Not even a little. At this academy, where gifted individuals gathered to become Adepts, he was probably the least talented.

In his best areas, he was only average. In weak areas, he took twice as long as others.

Over the years, new candidates kept surpassing him. Every time, Konoe could only watch them leave him behind.

He was forced to confront the truth of his mediocrity. He tried hard in his own way. But it wasn’t enough. He was just a regular person.

And the thought of how many years it might take to become an Adept—it was overwhelming.

…So yes, he had reached his limit.

He thought it was time to give up on his foolish dreams—like a drug-fueled harem—and live an ordinary life.

“…I’m sorry. I just couldn’t do it.”

【…I see.】

“I know I didn’t try hard enough. But any more than this—”

【Huh?】

Suddenly, surprise radiated from God.

She blinked her big eyes rapidly.

【You didn’t try hard enough?】

“…Yes?”

【…That’s definitely not true.】

“…Eh?”

【I saw it. I saw how hard you worked. You practiced with your spear every day, late into the night.】

【You didn’t go out on holidays. You studied. I know.】

—She saw? God did?

If she said it was true, then it was true.

Konoe really did stay late at the training grounds every day. He didn’t go out on breaks.

…But for him, that was a form of escape.

Because of his social anxiety. Even if he returned to his dorm, there was no place for him.

He couldn’t join the groups going out on holidays. So training and studying were his excuses to avoid people.

Just like always. Just like he’d always done.

He masked his loneliness with effort. That’s how he lived.

But even so, God said to him:

【It’s okay to give up. But don’t deny your efforts.】

“……”

【Recognize what you did. Praise yourself, okay?】

She smiled gently. She was looking straight at Konoe.

“Well done,” she said. “You were amazing.” Though she said nothing aloud, her feelings came through clearly.

—And there was no lie in them. From the bottom of her heart, she acknowledged Konoe.

He felt it deeply. Her smile was real. Her feelings were so honest that he couldn’t doubt them.

“…Yes.”

Konoe, before that divine smile, felt like crying.

For some reason, that smile filled a missing piece inside him. A hollow place in his heart felt just a little more whole.

“……”

…So, strange as it was—

…Konoe felt like he could try a little harder.

◆

—That day, Konoe didn’t go to the instructor’s room.

After parting with God, he returned to his dorm. And from the next morning, he continued training again—

◆

—The next year, his heart broke again.

Nope, can’t do this after all.

◆

That kind of thing happened once a year, over and over.

Every time his spirit broke, God appeared. Every time, he stood up again.

Years and years passed. He trained, shed bl00d.

The end was far, far away. No matter how hard he worked, it was never clear if he was making progress. Still, he kept walking.

He ran, cried, bled.

Almost died, came back, almost died again.

Fought monsters, lost again and again.

Finally won—and then a stronger one appeared.

Talent never bloomed. Hundreds of juniors surpassed him. He watched thousands quit and leave the academy.

He struggled desperately.

Learned, failed to learn, repeated the same mistakes.

Told himself, “This time for sure,” and kept dreaming.

The dream he once saw. A love potion slave harem.

If he told anyone, they’d say, “Try talking to people first before becoming an Adept.” They’d laugh.

But because he couldn’t, he just kept struggling.

Even if it was foolish, even if it was pathetic—

Just thinking, “This time for sure,” he kept going—

◆

“—Congratulations, Konoe-kun. You truly did it.”

That day, Konoe became an Adept.

Twenty-five years had passed since the day he first knocked on the academy’s gate.