The Shape of Happiness: A Family Crumbling Due to the Mother's Infidelity, a Wounded Middle School Daughter, and a Struggling Father Finding a New Form of Happiness. - Episode 42

My heart shattered.

A few days after the day of judgment, my mother took me back to the house where I used to live. I packed my belongings. That house was filled with our family’s happiness. But I ruined it, stained it, and destroyed everything.

The last words my former husband, Shinichi, said to me were—

“…I’m sorry… I couldn’t keep my promise… to make you happy.”

They were words of apology. But behind those words, I could clearly feel it.

“I truly loved you.”

When I saw Shinichi crouched down, shaking, with Misaki by his side, my heart broke. I finally understood how terribly I had hurt them, and how heavy my sins were.

(Adultery… is a brutal violence inflicted upon a family.)

I cried and screamed, apologizing over and over. That was all I could do. But no matter how much I cried, my sins would not disappear. Spilled water cannot be gathered again. It was too late for everything.

My mother dragged me into the car and we left what used to be my home. Even inside the car, I kept crying and screaming, overwhelmed by regret for my foolishness.

When we returned to my parents’ house, my mother was furious. She must have been holding it in for a long time. I had never seen her like that before. She scolded me harshly and hit me repeatedly. But at the same time, she was crying. I had deeply wounded my own mother’s heart, too.

She threw a thick envelope at me.

“There’s 500,000 yen inside. This is the last thing I can do for you as your mother. Find a job and a place to live within a month. Then, leave this house. I am cutting ties with you.”

Hearing my mother’s tearful declaration of severance, I couldn’t say anything.

◇◇◇◇◇◇

The next day, I started looking for a job.

I wanted to work at a proper company, so I went to the employment office. However, despite having a good education, I had no significant work experience and was not immediately employable. It was only natural that I couldn’t find a high-paying job.

For a moment, I was tempted by the words “high income” and considered working at a mature escort service. If I worked in such a place, even if it was physically and emotionally exhausting, I could easily pay off the alimony and child support. I could even clear my debts quickly. But somehow, it didn’t feel like true atonement. This guilt I carried could not simply be erased with money.

I needed to work hard every day in a normal job. I had to earn my salary through honest effort and use it to pay alimony and Misaki’s child support every month. I had to live in a way that, if I ever saw Shinichi and Misaki again, I could face them with dignity. That was the path I had to take from now on.

In the end, I couldn’t find a job as a factory worker or office employee. Instead, I realized that working part-time night shifts every day would earn me more than a regular job. So, I decided to work night shifts at a food factory making lunch boxes on weekdays and as an office building cleaner on weekends. I wanted to build up my work history so I could get a proper job in the future. It would be tough on my body, but I had no choice.

With this plan, I could earn around 200,000 yen per month after taxes. I decided to send 120,000 yen to Shinichi every month, including child support.

That left me with 80,000 yen. I had to cover rent and living expenses with this amount. I could cut down on utilities and food costs, but I needed a phone, so communication expenses were necessary. I would use only the most basic cosmetics. Considering other miscellaneous expenses, I needed to find a place with rent around 40,000 yen.

I consulted a real estate agent. In this area, a newer one-room apartment near the station cost around 80,000 yen. Even though it was quite rural, the rent was still high. However, I was told that if I moved a few train stops away, I might find something cheaper. The agent referred me to another real estate office.

The property they introduced was an old wooden apartment over 40 years old. It had a six-tatami mat room, a small kitchen, a flush toilet, and even a tiny shower booth. The rent was exactly 40,000 yen, and it was available for immediate move-in. I decided to sign the contract.

I reported everything to my mother. More than two weeks had passed, but I would be able to leave within a month. My mother only said, “I understand.”

On the day I left my parents’ house, I knelt before my mother.

“I did something truly foolish. I am so sorry. Thank you for everything.”

She said nothing, just stared at me.

I picked up my travel bag filled with my belongings and opened the front door. Once I stepped beyond this door, I would no longer be my mother’s daughter. I felt tears welling up, but I held them back.

As I stepped outside, I turned one last time and bowed deeply to my mother, who had seen me off.

I closed the door. With that, our parent-child relationship was severed.

From the other side of the door, I heard a heart-wrenching cry. My mother was sobbing. No matter how foolish and hopeless I was, I was still the daughter she had carried in her womb, the child she had poured all her love into, the one she had spent so many years raising. Yet, I had deeply wounded her, making her experience the greatest sorrow a parent could face.

Tears finally spilled from my eyes. But even so, I turned my back on my childhood home and started walking away.

My mother’s desperate cries burned into my ears. No matter how far I walked, I could still hear them.

◇◇◇◇◇◇

A small, old apartment. Over forty years old, but the room was clean and well-maintained.

I set my bag down on the tatami floor and sank to the ground. My heart was filled with regret. I had betrayed my husband, my daughter, and my mother, wounding them deeply. This was the result. I should have been living in that happy home, surrounded by my husband and daughter’s smiles. Instead, I was all alone.

“What… have I done…?”

The words slipped from my lips. Sunlight streaming through the window glowed against the tear tracks on my cheeks.

A year and a half of infidelity. All that remained was guilt and a massive debt. This empty room was a reflection of myself. I had lost everything.

And so, my lonely life of atonement began.