The White Moonlight Disdained by the Male Protagonist of Redemption - Chapter 20.1

Feng Jingzhuo’s face was pale as paper.

He knew his own barrier best. The barrier was completely destroyed—Yao Yao had come in.

Think of something, think of something quick! Feng Jingzhuo’s pupils trembled. His eyes darted about in panic. He glanced at the cave wall beside him and shrank tightly against it, as if he could press himself into the stone to shield her from danger.

With his back to the cave entrance, he quickly stabbed at his abdomen with the dagger, again and again.

The blade kept carving out blurred flesh and bl00d. Whether it was his dragon marrow or not, he no longer cared. As long as she was safe, even if he were to be torn to pieces, it would be worth it.

In that moment, his only hope was to dig out his dragon marrow, to make it impossible for his spiritual energy to gather. Without spiritual power, no matter how much killing intent, there would be no threat.

He didn’t hesitate. His movements grew faster—so brutal it seemed he wasn’t mutilating his own body, but an enemy’s.

—

The first thing Ning Yao saw upon entering was Feng Jingzhuo kneeling on the ground. His hands locked together, frantically digging into his own abdomen with a dagger.

Bl00d, flesh, and shattered dragon scales littered the floor.

Her mind went blank with a buzzing sound. With a flick of her hand, she knocked the dagger from his grip. The bl00d-soaked dagger clattered to the ground, splashing droplets of bl00d.

Ning Yao rushed forward and gripped his shoulders. He was covered in bl00d—he was practically a man of bl00d.

“Are you insane?! ”

She quickly formed a spell with her hands. Gentle healing energy poured into his body.

Having lost the dagger, Feng Jingzhuo trembled uncontrollably and hid his hands behind his back.

He looked like he was on the verge of breaking apart. “Yao Yao, don’t waste your spiritual power. Kill me—while I still have some clarity left…”

“I’m begging you. I’m begging you to promise me. Everything I have was given by you. My life belongs to you. I must not hurt you… I can’t hurt you…”

He was delirious, nearly driven mad from pain. Ning Yao’s heart ached. She cupped his bloodied face. “Jingzhuo, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay. Believe me—I’ll protect you.”

But in Feng Jingzhuo’s ears, her words twisted into something else.

He wanted to hold her so badly, but at this moment, he didn’t even dare to lift his hands, which were clawed and bloody.

“I don’t want you to protect me… Yao Yao, please stop protecting me. If you still care for me, I beg you—kill me. It’s the quickest and most effective way. Do it—please…”

She kept shaking her head, refusing. “I won’t kill you. I promised I’d treat you well.”

Feng Jingzhuo closed his eyes in despair. Silent tears fell.

“I hate myself so much…”

He kept murmuring the same words, again and again.

He hated himself for returning with her, for clinging to the warmth of Luoxiang Mountain, unable to leave.

He hated that he stayed by her side despite knowing he didn’t deserve her. Today was their wedding day—and he gave her only pain.

He hated being a Cangyuan dragon—unable to die by his own hand.

He hated his own powerlessness.

Feng Jingzhuo’s knees slowly backed away, inch by inch, like a forgotten skeleton in darkness—falling apart with every movement. “Yao Yao… I have no way left. If I beg you like this… will you agree?”

He bowed deeply, smashing his forehead against the ground.

That was the moment he completely broke down. With a single bow, a desperate plea:

“Kill me… Please… kill me…”

Ning Yao was shocked. She rushed forward to stop him, hugging him tightly.

“Don’t do this! Please don’t! Don’t be so heartbroken. Everything will be okay—I’m here with you.”

Feng Jingzhuo wept uncontrollably.

No matter what he said, she wouldn’t believe he could hurt her.

And truthfully… he couldn’t believe it either.

“…What’s that sound?” His bloodshot eyes shifted. “Something’s happening outside…”

Ning Yao looked at him. “An enemy is attacking—it’s Wan Dongze. He’s gathered many sects to storm the mountain. We’re outnumbered. But don’t worry—I’ve already told Grandmaster and the others to hide.”

Feng Jingzhuo’s eyes widened. Tears now carried streaks of bl00d. “So… you came back because you were in danger? You shouldn’t have come back… You shouldn’t…”

“You need to go back to Grandmaster. Find the others. Stay together and be safe. All of this is because of me—it’s my fault. Let them come for me. Let me protect you. Please, Yao Yao…”

Ning Yao shook her head firmly. “It’s not your fault. You did nothing wrong.”

Feng Jingzhuo laughed brokenly. His mind was slipping. “It is my fault. All of it. From the moment I left Cangyuan, it was a mistake. Uncle Feng died protecting me… it shouldn’t have been him. It shouldn’t have been…”

Ning Yao kissed him.

Just like always. Morning, noon, or night—in their room, in the forest, by the lake, beneath the stars—she always kissed him on time. He’d blush and gently return the kiss.

But this time, she didn’t count the seconds. This kiss tasted only of bl00d and bitterness.

Feng Jingzhuo’s heart stopped for a beat.

She was kissing him… Yao Yao…

Yao Yao?

The next moment, the hands he had hidden behind his back slowly rose. They hovered at her waist—then tightened.

Like a dying beast’s final howl, Feng Jingzhuo suddenly turned his head and cried out hoarsely: “Yao Yao, run! RUN!!”

As he spoke, his gaze darkened. He clenched his fist—and struck her chest with a thunderous blow.

The punch landed squarely. Ning Yao tumbled several feet and vomiting bl00d.

Even though she had prepared herself—disabled her defenses, suppressed her spiritual power, bracing for the possibility that he might attack—it still hurt so badly that she curled into herself, shaking.

She knew this strike had ruined her lungs. She wouldn’t survive it.

Bl00d flowed from her lips. Before she could breathe again, a force bound her wrists, lifting her lifeless body into the air.

She looked up—Feng Jingzhuo was already on his feet. The shackles on his wrists had already shattered. He brushed the iron dust from his sleeves, then slowly raised his gaze.

Was this still Feng Jingzhuo?

Perhaps all love in him had truly died—replaced by the desire to kill her. He didn’t even look like himself anymore. Ning Yao felt like another person had taken over his body.

Moments ago, he was so pitiful while drenched in bl00d. Now, he looked like a demon who had just devoured someone.

His eyes were pure darkness, filled with malice.

She tried to see clearly—but pain blurred her vision.

So, she closed her eyes. Better not to see.

She didn’t want her final image of him to be like this. She knew he wouldn’t want that either.

She could no longer see, but she could hear him raise his hand. Spiritual energy surged in his palm. His lips moved, slowly, word by word:

“Go to hell.”

His voice was chillingly strange—as if hatred had festered so long that even killing brought him some twisted joy.

With a violent wave of his hand, a blade of spiritual force shot forward, piercing Ning Yao’s chest and blasting out her back—shattering her spiritual core in an instant.

Ning Yao threw her head back. Her lips trembling.

A white flash burst in her mind. She saw golden light. She saw the white clouds above Luoxiang Mountain, sunlight filtering through the trees, the warm wind, the stars close enough to reach for.

She saw the lake turn to a snowfield.

She saw her elder sister laughing softly, pretending to tug her ear:

“You little fool… what am I going to do with you? Our Bodhi clan’s motto is ‘just enough is good enough.’ You’re working too hard—it breaks my heart. But really… I’m just ashamed I can’t keep up…”

She saw her father again.

He looked no different from how she remembered him, while she herself had become very, very small, cradled on his knee.

“Yao Yao is so amazing,” he said fondly. “When your father was seven hundred years old, he still couldn’t do anything.”

She was very proud, pointing to the sky with one hand: “I want to become a god!”

He chuckled softly. “All your father wants… is for you to be happy.”