Chapter 14: A Blinding Secret Crush part 1

No one knew how long he’d been watching. After staring at her for another two seconds, Chi Ye turned around and strode toward the elevator.

Qin Lang called after him, “Chi Ye, you’re not staying to watch?”

“You guys go ahead,” Chi Ye replied coolly, his tall figure quickly disappearing down the corridor.

For some reason, Lin Yuran felt a dull ache in her chest.

“Ranran, stop holding the door and come in,” Lin Yiqun called out. He had just finished seeing the last patient ahead of them.

Lin Yuran stepped inside, brushing past the previous patient on her way.

“Thank goodness that Wang Xue finally left. If she called you ‘Brother Qun’ one more time, I swear I was gonna throw up.” As she spoke, Lin Yuran even made a fake retching gesture.

Lin Yiqun just laughed.

Lin Yuran picked up a slim patient file from his desk, rolled it up, and smacked him with it repeatedly. “And you! Acting all sweet and well-behaved… what’s with that? You call that gentlemanly? Huh?!”

Lin Yiqun was handsome, the refined, scholarly type. He had a quiet elegance about him that made him popular with the ladies. But he wasn’t Lin Yuran’s type, and she wasn’t his either.

Lin Yiqun liked gentle and demure girls. So, although they’d grown up together and people often called them childhood sweethearts, the two of them had never had even the slightest romantic feeling for each other.

They were both good-looking and had their fair share of persistent admirers. When they encountered someone particularly hard to shake off, they’d pretend to be a couple. It was a trick they’d used since they were kids, a silent pact to help each other out.

“Lin Yiqun, you got so tanned after Tibet. Sit still, I’m taking a picture.”

Lin Yiqun straightened up without protest and let her take a few shots. 

When she was done, Lin Yuran didn’t bother with more chit-chat. “Those outside are my friends. Take good care of them. I’m not hanging around. I’m going to check on my mom.”

“Alright,” Lin Yiqun replied, pressing the call button.

A mechanical female voice rang out: “Chi Ye, please proceed to the Traditional Medicine Specialist Clinic.”

“Chi Ye?” Lin Yiqun repeated softly.

Lin Yuran was already at the door. She turned back and said, “Chi Ye probably isn’t coming back. You can call the next one.”

“Is it that Chi Ye?” Lin Yiqun asked.

“Yeah,” she replied. “I’m working with his company now.”

Lin Yiqun hesitated for a moment. “Then you… getting to see him again must not have been easy.”

Lin Yuran rolled her eyes at him. “You’ve got a lot to say when it’s about me. What about you, huh?”

Lin Yiqun gave a bitter smile and said nothing more.

When Lin Yuran stepped outside, she told Qin Lang and the others, “Go in when your name is called. Tell him whatever’s bothering you. I won’t be going in with you; my mom’s hospitalized here, so I’m heading up to see her. No need to wait for me when you’re done, I’ll head back on my own.”

“OK.”

After saying her goodbyes, Lin Yuran headed up to the eighth floor. In the elevator, her mind wandered back to the final conversation she had with Lin Yiqun.

They called each other childhood sweethearts, but in truth, ‘kindred spirits’ might be more accurate. There was a shared sorrow between them.

Lin Yiqun’s father had run off with another woman when he was very young and never came back. His mother, broken-hearted, spiraled into despair, partied recklessly, sold the family home, and gambled away every day. She didn’t care for Lin Yiqun at all. He was raised by his grandmother, who was frail and penniless, scraping together every cent from collecting recyclables to afford his school fees.

In high school, Lin Yiqun had a huge crush on a girl named Su Yirou, a classmate of Lin Yuran’s. Just like her name, she was gentle and quiet. The first time Lin Yiqun saw Su Yirou was when he visited Lin Yuran’s class during their freshman year. He was smitten at first sight.

Su Yirou sat right in front of Lin Yuran. Every evening during self-study, Lin Yiqun would come by the classroom, claiming to visit his childhood friend, but really just to catch a glimpse of Su Yirou. He even swapped seats with Lin Yuran’s deskmate under the pretense of wanting to do homework with her.

There were often spare seats during evening study sessions, and the deskmate was happy to oblige.

Once seated behind Su Yirou, he’d pretend to ask Lin Yuran questions, and she would play along, saying things like, “You’re so dumb. Do I look like someone patient enough to tutor you? Go ask someone else.”

Then Lin Yiqun would gently tap on Su Yirou’s back and say pitifully, “Hey classmate, look at this lousy friend of mine. Can you help me out?”

Su Yirou would then turn around and patiently explain everything to him in her soft voice. After Chi Ye transferred in, he seemed to dislike Lin Yiqun. Every time Lin Yiqun came by, Chi Ye refused to give up his seat.

Lin Yuran had to plead with Su Yirou’s deskmate on his behalf. As long as she asked, Gu Jiaze would agree. So Lin Yiqun got to sit beside Su Yirou, and the two could spend the evening discussing problems, both academic and not.

At first, it was an innocent crush. But by the time Lin Yiqun realized the depth of his feelings, he had already lost the courage to confess. At the end of that semester, during the parent-teacher conference, he saw both of Su Yirou’s parents show up. They were graceful, well-spoken, and even drove a luxury car. It was then that Lin Yiqun understood the harsh reality of class differences.

People always feel inadequate in front of someone they truly like. When he found out that an entire semester’s living expenses didn’t even equal the cost of one of Su Yirou’s dresses, his innocent feelings shrank back in defeat.

But he didn’t give up right away. He studied hard, hoping to get into a good university and land a decent job afterward. Maybe then, things could be different. But just before college entrance exams, his mother drank herself to death, leaving behind a mountain of gambling debt.

The debt collectors didn’t believe a mother could die without securing a future for her child. They insisted the money had to be somewhere and demanded repayment. Lin Yiqun refused, not just because he had no money, but because he truly didn’t owe them.

They soon found out he adored his grandmother and began threatening her instead, breaking into her home, smashing things, and terrifying her until she collapsed from a heart attack. She was the only person in the world who ever truly cared for him.

Even with no money, Lin Yiqun did everything he could to pay for her medical treatment: begging relatives and neighbors, finally gathering enough. But it wasn’t enough. She didn’t survive.

Before she passed, she made arrangements for Lin Yiqun’s future. She recited a string of phone numbers for him and called in someone: her first love.  Like her grandson, she too had lost a love because of social class. That man was now a renowned master of traditional Chinese medicine, one of the most respected in the country.

At her deathbed plea, he agreed to take Lin Yiqun in as a personal disciple. After his grandmother passed, burdened by medical debt and unable to afford college, Lin Yiqun followed his master and immersed himself in the study of Chinese medicine.

The tender feelings from his youth were left unspoken, buried with the past. When he later heard that Su Yirou had gone abroad for college, he let her go completely, cutting all contact. He believed she deserved someone with a better family, better education, someone brighter.

But Su Yirou had never stopped caring. Over the years, she kept tabs on him through Lin Yuran. It was their little secret.

Back in sophomore year, Lin Yuran had noticed that Su Yirou probably liked Lin Yiqun too. Rumors about the ‘Double Lin CP’ were all over school, so afraid of a misunderstanding, Lin Yuran had explained things to her.

But Su Yirou had only smiled. “There’s no need to explain. I wouldn’t misunderstand.”