Chapter 43: A Blinding Secret Crush part 1

When Lin Yuran finally got home, she washed up, drew for nearly four hours, and only crawled into bed close to eleven. 

Burrowed under her blanket, she still couldn’t fall asleep. She was stuck wondering what kind of breakfast she should buy for Chi Ye tomorrow. Truth be told, she didn’t really know his preferences.

These past few years, she’d been eating casually herself and hadn’t noticed which breakfast spots were good.

She thought back to their school days when she and Chi Ye used to eat breakfast together. Back then, he was always the one who went to buy it, and whatever he brought, she always seemed to like. Looking at it now, it must’ve been because he’d always chosen according to her taste. That made it useless as a reference.

After mulling it over for a long while, she remembered that the breakfast near Qingbei University was pretty popular. Her place wasn’t that far from campus anyway. If she got up early, she could run there without much trouble.

Lin Yuran picked up her phone, hesitated for a bit, then opened Chi Ye’s WeChat. She typed:【Chi Ye, when you were in college, which breakfasts at the school cafeteria did you think were the best?】

Half a minute later, Chi Ye replied: 【Lin Yuran, it’s this late. Can’t you let me go? Stop torturing me already.】

Lin Yuran blinked and glanced at the clock.

It really was late, past eleven. She was used to staying up, but other people weren’t necessarily the same. She hurried to reply:【Sorry for bothering you!】

Then she scrolled through her saved stickers, found a cute ‘little bunny pulling up the blanket and turning off the light’ one, sent it along, and added:【Good night, Chi Ye.】

Even after sending it, Lin Yuran thought for sure Chi Ye would reply with a list of the breakfasts he liked. He had never once refused her before.

But unexpectedly, after waiting for quite a while, all he sent back were two words:【Good night.】

Lin Yuran frowned a little, staring at the chat window. Something about his earlier ‘stop torturing me’ didn’t sound like he was annoyed at being disturbed before bed. Chi Ye wasn’t the type to talk to her like that over something so trivial.

Then she remembered his shifting expressions when he dropped her off earlier, that sunny one moment, cloudy the next kind of look. And suddenly, she recalled what Yan Xi had asked her.

—“Sister Yuran, among all the boys chasing you at school, is there anyone you’re actually considering?”

Oh no.

Yan Xi had specifically said ‘at school.’

And how had she answered?

—“Considering, huh? There actually is one.”

!!!

Lin Yuran shot upright in bed.

Crap! So Chi Ye must’ve thought she was talking about someone else?!

Lin Yuran sat there for a while in disarray, sighed, and resigned herself. Well, what was done was done; she’d have to fix it somehow tomorrow when they met.

She lay back down, thought for a few more minutes, and finally figured out what breakfast to buy in the morning. With that small matter settled, she quickly drifted off to sleep.

— — — 

In her dream, snow was falling heavily outside the window. She sat at her desk, resting her chin on one hand, studying under the lamplight. Yao A-ping had gone to her night shift, so she wasn’t planning to sleep that night. Suddenly, a violent pounding on the door shattered her drowsiness.

Lin Yuran froze, glanced at her backpack and down jacket prepared on the bed, and strained her ears. After half a minute, the pounding stopped, then came a loud crash, like a bottle being smashed against the floor.

Then silence.

She let out a breath and picked up her pen again.

But then, the desk lamp flickered out. Darkness swallowed the room. The curtains weren’t drawn, and only the pale reflection of snow lit the walls. She groped toward the wall switch, pressed it, but the overhead light stayed dead. Power outage, or maybe the circuit had been cut.

Still silence outside.

Lin Yuran didn’t dare lie down. She sat at the head of the bed, motionless.

The night grew deeper. She was exhausted, her eyelids heavy, but she didn’t know how long had passed when, half-asleep, she heard the faint click of a key turning in the lock. Her eyes flew open. She jumped up, pulled on her jacket, grabbed her bag, and dashed to the window.

Just as she threw it open, the door burst inward.

Without thinking, Lin Yuran climbed up and leapt out.

Her room was on the first floor. Not long after moving in, she’d secretly hired someone to remove the security bars from her window.

As she jumped, the man lunged to grab her. He missed, only managed to yank off her coat. She landed awkwardly, slipping on the snow. Pain shot up from her ankle, sharp enough to steal her breath.

But she didn’t stop. Lin Yuran forced herself to run, limping, through the snow toward the edge of the old apartment complex.

There weren’t even streetlights in this old neighborhood. She stumbled through deep snow, falling over and over, each time scrambling back up without daring to stop.

The wind howled, cold enough to cut through bone. Lin Yuran wore only a thin sweater under her uniform jacket; the chill stole her warmth within minutes, leaving her trembling uncontrollably.

When she finally reached the gate, she slipped again and fell hard. For a few seconds, she couldn’t get up.

Snow from the branches of an old banyan tree above came tumbling down, mixed with what still fell from the sky, burying her in a flurry of white.

At that moment, Lin Yuran felt utterly helpless.

What had she done to deserve this?

A shadow fell over her. She looked up and collided with a pair of deep, dark eyes. The boy’s gaze glimmered, like starlight caught in the night, so bright that not even the darkness could swallow it.

“Don’t be afraid. It’s me.”

Chi Ye bent down and reached out his hand. Every taut nerve in Lin Yuran’s body relaxed. That night, no one else in the world could have made her feel safer.

She took his hand.

He pulled her up, brushed the snow from her shoulders, and wrapped her in a still-warm, oversized coat. Slowly, the warmth seeped back into her body.

“Did you sprain your ankle?” he asked.

Lin Yuran nodded.

Without another word, he turned, crouched down, and said, “Get on. I’ll carry you.” Lin Yuran didn’t hesitate. She quietly climbed onto his not-yet-broad shoulders.

As Chi Ye carried her down the steps, she noticed a familiar black car parked by the roadside. When they approached, a middle-aged man stepped out and opened the back door for them.

From that moment, the dream began to blur. 

Flashes of other nights when she had fled home, each one the same: a black sedan following behind, its headlights lighting her way through the empty streets. That car would always follow until the mouth of Qingxu Alley, then speed off into the night.

The Extreme Dream Café was located at the very end of the alley. She couldn’t remember when it started, but at some point, the entire alley had been strung with lights, bright as day every single night.

Every time Lin Yuran arrived at the café, Chi Ye was always there, as if they had arranged to meet.

But Lin Yuran never planned her visits. She would only sneak out depending on the situation. Sometimes, even when Yao A-ping had a night shift, she might not go out at all. Every time she did, it was on a sudden impulse. She had never once told Chi Ye in advance, and Chi Ye had never complained about her sudden appearances.

Usually, Lin Yuran slipped out around eleven or twelve at night. Yao A-ping’s shifts were regular, just two nights a week. If Lin Yuran didn’t show up by midnight, she usually wouldn’t come out at all.

But once, Lin Yuran thought she wouldn’t have to sneak out that night. Yet by two in the morning, she was forced to run again. The black sedan was still there, tailing her all the way.

That time, when she arrived at the private booth, Chi Ye wasn’t inside. About twenty minutes later, there was a knock at the door, and Chi Ye’s voice came from outside, “Lin Yuran, it’s me.”

He came in, breathing hard.

“Why are you here so late?” Lin Yuran asked him.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Chi Ye replied simply.

“Then why are you out this late?” Chi Ye asked in return.

“You just got here. How do you even know when I came?” Lin Yuran countered.

“Uh…” Chi Ye scratched his head. “The internet café manager mentioned it when I came in, said you’d just arrived too.”

Lin Yuran let out an “Oh,” then lied casually. “Same old situation at home. They’re playing cards all night again. It’s too noisy, I couldn’t stand it, so I came out.”

Chi Ye frowned. “That’s too dangerous. Isn’t there any way to fix it?”

Lin Yuran sighed faintly. “I’ll just wait until my mom gets divorced.”

“You could try living in the dorms,” Chi Ye suggested.

“I already talked to my mom about it. She said the school’s close enough to home, so there’s no need to waste money. She wouldn’t agree.”

Lin Yuran understood that Yao A-ping’s refusal to let her live in the dorms wasn’t just about the cost. When she came home from work every night, having Yuran there was probably the only thing that gave that house a touch of warmth.