The Young Marquis Regrets Too Late - Chapter 4

Jiang Jingchun’s almost childish question naturally did not receive a response from Gu Huaisheng.

For a moment, he didn’t utter a word. He looked at her coldly, as per usual.

There was only the faintest trace of displeasure in his expression.

He could tolerate her other trivial antics since they had nothing to do with him. However, asking him such a question directly was truly improper.

He indifferently replied, “Cousin, mind your words.”

Such distant words fell from his lips, and though he addressed her as ‘Cousin,’ at this moment, Jiang Jingchun felt that even the title ‘Cousin’ hardly belonged to her.

Once he’d said that, he did not linger there any longer.

Coincidentally, Madame Gu came out from the main hall of Rongde Hall at that moment. Madame Gu and Gu Huaisheng returned to the marquis’ residence together.

After they left, only Jiang Runchu and Jiang Jingchun remained.

Jiang Runchu looked at Jiang Jingchun, who was still staring blankly in the direction Gu Huaisheng had left. He frowned in displeasure, as he instinctively wanted to scold her, but before he could, she spoke first.

“Brother.”

Jiang Runchu looked at her. She had instantly stifled his words.

He averted his gaze. He didn’t want to look at the young girl before him as he irritably said, “What now?”

She asked him, “What kind of person does Cousin Gu like?”

To this day, it seemed she’d never seen Gu Huaisheng show interest in any woman. He always kept everyone at a distance from himself.

She once believed that she was special to him.

Two years ago, Jiang Jingchun was around fourteen years old. While she was out on a trip with friends, she got separated from the group and accidentally got lost in the forested mountains. She tumbled into a body of water and was swept away to an unknown place.

She remained at the bottom of the mountain for two full days and had resigned herself to the thought that she would die there. But just when all hope seemed lost, Gu Huaisheng appeared.

He picked up her near-lifeless body and kept patting her back, saying, ‘It’s alright.’

From that moment on, she saw her cousin differently.

She had always worn her heart on her sleeve, so from that point on, many people learned she liked Gu Huaisheng.

That day, Gu Huaisheng had looked at her in such a gentle way. She had never seen him look at anyone else in that way. That look had stayed in her mind for two years, even until now. It was at that moment that she had begun to naively believe that perhaps she was special to him.

But now, it seemed clear that she’d been overthinking it.

That was merely the compassion one would show to anyone on the brink of death.

Just as he helped her today—it was only because she was his cousin.

That was all there was to it.

He didn’t like someone like her? Then what kind of person did he like? If she knew, she could change.

Jiang Jingchun looked at Jiang Runchu and asked, “Brother, you’re close to Cousin Gu. You must know what kind of person he likes, right?”

Jiang Runchu glanced at her with disdain. “The kind of person he likes is certainly not a spoiled girl like you.”

Jiang Jingchun, who was desperate for answers, had asked the wrong person.

Her face fell, and she turned to leave.

“Stop bothering him in the future. The more you pester him, the more annoyed he’ll get…”

Jiang Runchu saw her walking away without stopping and didn’t know if she had even heard his words.

Soon, Jiang Jingchun walked far enough that Jiang Runchu’s voice disappeared completely from her earshot.

She might not have listened to anything else he said, but his earlier words lodged themselves firmly in her heart.

He was right. Gu Huaisheng didn’t like her. He thought of her as childish, so he must like someone obedient, sensible, mature, and not clingy, right?

She had been bothering him day after day. To him, she must have been annoying.

Yes. Gu Huaisheng valued rules and propriety. Surely, he would like a girl who was also proper and well-behaved.

The more she thought about it, the more it made sense.

She seemed to know what she had to do now.

The night had fallen. The moon was now hanging above the tree branches. Bright stars filled the night sky and poured their cool radiance down the earth until it streamed through the windows.

After Jiang Jingchun had dinner, Old Madame Jiang summoned her to Rongde Hall.

Jiang Jingchun could already guess why her grandmother had called for her.

Other people might easily dismiss the events of this day earlier, but Old Madame Jiang wouldn’t.

Her grandmother was very strict, at least to her.

When Jiang Jingchun arrived at Rongde Hall, the only person inside was her grandmother.

At first, her mother had wanted to follow her, but the old madame’s servant had firmly stopped her outside. Madame Jiang, who feared her daughter would be punished, refused to leave until Jiang Jingchun’s father intervened and took her away.

Jiang Jingchun’s mother had always been good to her, ever since she could remember.

Old Madame Jiang was a deeply devout Buddhist. In the centre of the main hall stood a statue of Guanyin, who had a kind and benevolent expression on her face. The incense in Rongde Hall burned daily without fail, and tonight, though the stick of incense had burned halfway, the coiled ash and lingering smoke still filled the air. 

The hall was silent, broken only by the sound of Old Madame Jiang turning the prayer beads in her hand.

Jiang Jingchun sat uneasily in the lower part of the hall. She quietly glanced at her grandmother, who kept her eyes closed. She couldn’t tell when the old madame planned to speak.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Old Madame Jiang spoke.

Jiang Jingchun couldn’t quite tell whether her grandmother’s eyes were closed or squinted, but she heard her slightly aged voice saying, “After thinking for so long, let me ask you—do you realise your mistake today?”

The old madame had left her in silence so she could reflect on what had happened.

Jiang Jingchun lowered her head. Her voice was a little muffled as she said, “She slandered me first.”

Old Madame Jiang had expected Jiang Jingchun’s response. She went silent for a moment, then slowly opened her eyes and gestured towards the Guanyin statue.

She said, “Since it seems you still haven’t realised your mistake, then kneel before the Guanyin statue. Once you’ve thought things through, you may stand.”

Jiang Jingchun didn’t argue. Her grandmother wouldn’t indulge her after she’d made mistakes, and arguing would only result in her receiving harsher punishment.

She had always been good at reading people’s moods in these situations.

However, the old madame was asking her to admit her fault, which she would never do.

She rose and knelt before the Guanyin statue.

She had already prepared herself to kneel for the entire night.

The young girl lowered her eyes and knelt properly in front of the statue. Her back was perfectly straight, and she refused to bend it, as though it was her act of silent rebellion.

Old Madame Jiang saw it. She naturally knew what Jiang Jingchun was thinking.

She knew that the girl was still unwilling to accept fault in her heart. Although she didn’t say it, her stubborn posture said it all.

Old Madame Jiang let her kneel. After about half an hour, she finally saw Jiang Jingchun’s body sway slightly.

She asked Jiang Jingchun, “Are you tired?”

Jiang Jingchun shook her head and replied, “No.”

It was clear she still hadn’t realised her mistake.

Old Madame Jiang let her continue kneeling.

After another half an hour, Jiang Jingchun’s body swayed again. Her waist finally bent.

Old Madame Jiang asked, “Do you admit your mistake now?”

Jiang Jingchun’s back immediately straightened up once more.

This action nearly made the old madame laugh in exasperation.

She hadn’t been this stubborn as a child. Now that she had grown up, she seemed to have developed the temper of a bull. She had grown so obstinate that even if she fainted while kneeling, she probably still wouldn’t bow her head.

The old madame wondered where she had gotten such a personality from.

Jiang Jingchun wanted to confront her in a silent battle of wills, but fortunately, the old madame hadn’t truly intended to make things difficult for her today. Otherwise, even if Jiang Jingchun passed out, she would still have to kneel.

The old madame no longer forced her to admit guilt, but she said instead, “You think you’re not at fault because you believe that Miss Lou offended you first and you were merely retaliating. What fault is there in that?”

The events of the day had already been relayed to her in detail by the maids.

The old woman’s voice was light, almost soothing in the night, as her words flowed slowly into Jiang Jingchun’s ears.

She continued, “You say she pushed you, but was there anyone who can attest to that? She claimed you pushed her, though, and now that is what everyone knows.

“This world is all about appearances. Now that it happened that she fell down the stairs, who would believe your side of the story?

“You claim you’re not at fault, but do you have any proof?”

Jiang Jingchun was rendered speechless by the old madame’s questioning.

Her stubborn refusal to admit guilt appeared, to outsiders, to be nothing more than her being unreasonable.

She said softly, “Grandmother, do you think I’ve embarrassed the Jiang family?”

Her voice was muffled and showed a rare hint of vulnerability. After fighting with her grandmother and kneeling for an hour, she had refused to yield, yet now she softened.

The old madame looked at the young girl kneeling before her. Her silhouette was outlined in the dim candlelight. For some reason, she recalled events from long ago.

In her younger years, the old madame had suffered greatly. Life in the South had been harsh; after her husband had passed away, she had to raise three children on her own, and she often went hungry and cold back then.

She had to split a single bowl of rice into four portions—three for the children and a mere scrap for herself, the adult.

It was during those days of hunger that her stomach had been permanently damaged. Even now, despite improved circumstances, the old ailment lingered. It would leave her vomiting and in agony when it flared up. 

She wouldn’t be able to eat even the softest porridge. In fact, she wouldn’t be able to do anything but stay down, with tears streaming uncontrollably down her face. 

At such times, her children and other grandchildren would only send a perfunctory word of concern.

Yet there was one occasion when her illness struck, and she returned to her chamber, only to find Jiang Jingchun—just a tiny child back then—waiting inside with a bowl of porridge. At the time, her pain was so intense that she had no mind to pay the little girl any attention.

But the child—about seven at that time, had come to her bedside, placing her small hands gently over her aching stomach. Despite the old madame’s pained irritation and attempts to send her away, Jiang Jingchun stubbornly stayed, and she only left after the old madame drank the porridge she’d brought.

The old madame remembered this clearly like it’d happened only yesterday. This child had always been this stubborn since the very beginning of her life.

Truthfully, she was fond of her granddaughter. Her other grandchildren feared and avoided her. Whenever the weather turned cold or her stomach ached, it was always Jiang Jingchun who would come to her side.

As one grew old, one would tend to dwell on past memories.

The flickering candlelight pulled the old madame from her reverie.

Jiang Jingchun had asked whether she thought her behaviour had brought embarrassment to the family.

The old madame replied, “I mean to tell you that if someone bullies you in the future, you can fight back—just do it where others won’t see.”

Jiang Jingchun believed that Lou Yanyan pushed her, and retaliating by pushing her back made them even.

However, her mother’s indulgence had left her naive. She believed the world was black and white—that everyone would listen to her explanation and stand by her side if she was right.

However, things rarely turned out that way in reality.

Jiang Jingchun suspected she had misheard. She turned around in shock and met her grandmother’s eyes. 

The old madame said again, “If others don’t provoke you, you mustn’t provoke them. But if someone crosses you, you mustn’t hold back, either. However, if someone uses underhanded means against you, and you retaliate openly, then aren’t you just giving them the advantage?”

Though her grandmother’s tone betrayed no clear emotion, Jiang Jingchun now understood her grandmother’s meaning. She quickly got up to move towards her, but after kneeling for so long, her legs were numb, and she stumbled.

The old madame instinctively wanted to stand but managed to restrain herself.

She watched as Jiang Jingchun clumsily picked herself up and staggered over to her.

Her eyes held a hint of mirth, though she still lightly scolded her, “You mannerless girl.”

Jiang Jingchun knew her grandmother was all talk and no bite. With a shameless smile on her face, she moved closer and said, “Grandmother, I understand my mistake now.”

Just moments earlier, she had been prepared to kneel until dawn, yet now she had flipped her attitude as quickly as a page in a book could be turned.

The old madame found this amusing, but she still spoke sternly to her. “This time, your cousin intervened to help you. It was possible for him to help you because he is someone that everyone respects. However, he won’t always be there to shield you.”

Jiang Jingchun quickly explained, “I didn’t mean to cause trouble for Cousin today. I didn’t know he would come…”

She truly hadn’t expected Gu Huaisheng to visit the Jiang family today. If she had known, she wouldn’t have gone off to play polo.

The old madame seemed unconcerned. “What trouble? What is a monumental issue for you is but a trivial matter for him.”

For him, solving such matters took no more than a few words. Though Gu Huaisheng was cold to Jiang Jingchun outwardly, his heart wasn’t so hardened. He wouldn’t ignore her in a moment of need.

But so what? At most, his feelings for her extended only as far as familial affection between cousins and nothing more.

Old Madame Jiang had lived for so many years. There were things that she could simply see clearly.

She said, “You and your cousin are not the same kind of people.”

One of them was reserved and deep-thinking, while the other was straightforward and simple.

How could such people ever end up together?

Jiang Jingchun tilted her head up to look at her and asked, “Grandmother, do you also think it’s impossible for me and my cousin to be together?”