Thirty-Six Stratagems for Divorcing a Wife (GL) - Chapter 1

In the fifteenth year of Emperor Qian’s reign, the founding marshal Lu Wang was blessed with dragon-and-phoenix twins. Emperor Nian himself held a grand banquet for his ministers in the Imperial Garden, and the entire country celebrated to show imperial favor.

In the midst of this joyous garden party, where the ministers all smiled and drank, a scout suddenly reported: Prince Yao, Nian Geng, whose ten-year station at the frontier had ended, was returning to the capital with his entire household to request an audience.

The gathering fell into a stunned silence. Emperor Nian’s expression instantly darkened.

All the senior officials present knew the backstory: The previous emperor, Nian Kang, had four adopted sons who all died in the chaos of war. His health broke under the strain, and he died suddenly on the throne, leaving a will passing the crown to his elder brother Nian Qian. He also established princedoms for his brothers, stripped their military power with a ceremonial cup of wine, and sent them to live out their days in ease.

But Prince Yao, Nian Fifteen, who had been closest to the late emperor, could not accept this arrangement. He rallied a not-insignificant faction to protest in open court.

Emperor Qian was enraged but had no legal grounds to act. They agreed to a ten-year term, the two brothers strictly observing the rites of ruler and subject and not interfering in one another’s affairs.

Now the decade had passed. The current emperor, Nian Qian, who had ascended the throne in his thirties as the elder brother of the late emperor, was already over forty but still without an heir. Prince Yao, now twenty-five, had grown up brilliant in both the civil and martial arts and had steadily expanded his influence in secret. He was no longer the timid youth who once retreated at every turn.

Thus all the court understood: this uninvited guest had not come back empty-handed. A bloody struggle in the capital was inevitable.

Meanwhile, at the Lu family’s estate, the “first-grab” ceremony for the twins was underway.

Having spent decades on the battlefield, Marshal Lu naturally placed high hopes on his son. The emperor himself had bestowed the name Lu Jianyi, so of course Lu wished his boy to seize a military tally or something equally auspicious. He personally set the lively little one down. Surrounded by so many expectant faces, young Jianyi seemed to be making the hardest choice in the world. He couldn’t guess what the adults wanted; he only knew that he was usually pampered and held, but now he was suddenly on the cold floor, stripped of security. He burst into tears with a loud “Waaah—!”

The onlookers all laughed aloud. Some even teased Lu Wang:
“Such a valiant general—how did you end up with a son who cries like a girl?”

Lu could only smile helplessly, venting his irritation at the not-yet-hundred-day-old infant. Little Jianyi, cowed by his father’s glare, stifled his sobs, his snot-streaked face glancing over at his twin sister Lu Jianshou in their mother’s arms.

Jianshou’s bright, clear eyes seemed to understand her brother’s plight. Showing surprising intelligence, she wriggled down, grabbed the military tally with her tiny hands, and shoved it into her brother’s.

Jianyi at first refused to take it—until Jianshou smacked him on the face with her chubby hand and babbled some baby gibberish. Only then did the boy, full of grievance, clutch it in his own little fists.

Everyone present was stunned.

Prime Minister Jin, who had always been close to the marshal, stroked his beard and said,
“This little girl is exceptionally bright. She’s no ordinary fish in a small pond. Congratulations, General—you’ve got a heroine in the making!”

But Lu showed no delight; instead he sighed.
“A girl should be raised in the inner chambers, to study music, chess, calligraphy, and painting. Why should she need to be so clever? It’s this boy Jianyi—he has no manly bearing at all! Not a trace of me in him!”

Madam Lu bristled.
“What do you mean? Are you doubting my faithfulness? And what’s wrong with a girl being clever? I love my little cotton-padded jacket!”

Lu hastily fell silent.

And thus all present learned that the mighty General Lu—seven feet tall, second only to the emperor, feared and obeyed throughout the realm—was, in fact, thoroughly henpecked.

The next year, Prince Yao’s consort gave birth to a daughter. On the day of her full-month celebration, as Lu and his wife were playing with their twins at home, a servant brought an invitation.

Soon after, Jin Qing came rushing in for an audience.

“Brother-in-law!” he said anxiously. “This could be a Hongmen Banquet!”

Madam Lu smiled over her shoulder.
“It’s just a baby’s full-month party. You’re the prime minister—why so nervous?”

Jin Qing sighed.
“You speak like a woman and child. Everyone knows the emperor’s greatest taboo is Prince Yao. Yet given the situation, he’ll be forced to pass the throne to the man he most dislikes. Now Prince Yao holds this banquet—surely it’s mocking the emperor’s lack of heirs. If we go to offer congratulations, won’t we offend His Majesty?”

Lu seemed pensive. Madam Lu waved it off.
“Soldiers block the soldiers, water covers the earth. It’s just a drink. If you men won’t go, I’ll go myself. They say Princess Nian is the greatest beauty of the Western Regions—I’ve long wanted to meet her.”

Hearing his wife once again eager to see a beauty, Lu’s face darkened. Could she not simply stay home and be his virtuous wife?

She had barely taken a few steps before their son clung to her leg, gazing up pitifully.

“You want to come too?” she teased, shaking the invitation. She scooped up their blank-staring daughter from the stone bench. “Xiao Hong, bring the young master. We’re going to Prince Yao’s for a free meal!”

“Her favoritism toward her daughter is getting too obvious,” Jin Qing murmured. But he saw Lu rise stiffly and declare, poker-faced, “We’re going too. Otherwise she’ll get herself seduced by that princess again!”

Jin Qing sighed. His sister’s only hobby was admiring beauties. Her poor iron-blooded husband had to chase her around all day.

As expected…

By the time the men arrived, the two women were already chatting.

Princess Consort Yao wore a veil, revealing only her eyes and forehead, but even so her beauty was clear. In her arms she held her infant daughter, who had obviously inherited her parents’ fine looks. The little one reached adorably for the girl in Madam Lu’s arms.

Little Jianshou merely stared at the tiny beauty, tilting her head from time to time.

Seeing this, Madam Lu laughed.
“Sister Lian, these two little ones seem to get along so well. Why don’t we decide their marriage right now?”

Lu seized the chance to interject.
“Wife, that’s Jianshou, not Jianyi…”

—Hey! What kind of mother is so eager to bend her own daughter?
And that baby Nian Nianshi isn’t even old enough to speak—what “getting along” are you seeing?

Madam Lu shot him a look.
“She’s my own flesh and bl00d. Of course I know.”

Prince Yao overheard this and took it another way. He came over with a toast, smiling.
“If General Lu truly has thoughts of an alliance, this king would not object.”

Lu understood the subtext—Prince Yao was courting his support. He smiled blandly.
“The princess is naturally beautiful and of noble birth. My humble family dares not aspire so high. Besides, we’ve already arranged for Jianyi to marry his cousin Jin Qingqin. We wouldn’t want to wrong the little princess.”

Jin Qing almost choked. Since when did I agree to marry off my unborn daughter to your crying, eating lump of a son?

But everyone knew it was only a polite excuse, so nothing more was said.

As the wine flowed, Madam Lu and the princess became more and more friendly, and arranged to tour the prince’s residence together.

In a secluded spot, the princess suddenly lifted her veil and asked urgently,
“Does Madam Lu know Qiu Yingluo?”

Still reeling from the sudden onslaught of beauty, Madam Lu blinked before replying.
“She’s my senior martial sister. Why do you ask, Your Highness?”

Li Xiuyan’s willow brows drew together.
“Yingluo often spoke of you. Ever since you left, she’s stayed alone in Robin Valley. Back then it was all a misunderstanding…”

Madam Lu frowned, cutting her off.
“Whatever your relationship, it’s in the past. If it was a misunderstanding, I want to hear it from her own mouth, not through evasions.”

“She will,” Li Xiuyan’s voice was full of sorrow. “She’s been looking for you all these years. When you stormed off, she regretted it at once. She… she actually loves you…”

Does she…?

A faint sadness flickered in Madam Lu’s eyes. She gave a small, cool smile.
“Your Highness, you still don’t understand her…”

“No—I do.” Li Xiuyan’s eyes brimmed with tears, her gaze uncharacteristically resolute.
“I am no longer pure and cannot be with her. But knowing you’re in her heart, I still hope you two can be together…”

“You know it’s impossible. I am married now—I can’t think of her anymore.” Her senior had wronged many girls, but Li Xiuyan was clearly the most beautiful and the deepest in feeling. Madam Lu could see the trap she’d fallen into. “If you trust me, listen to this: Qiu Yingluo is not worthy of you. Prince Yao is a hero among men. The little princess is adorable. As a royal consort you already hold what many can only dream of…”

But she never expected what happened next: Li Xiuyan suddenly drew a dagger from her sleeve, hurled the swaddled infant to the ground, and cried in fury,
“This isn’t what I wanted! This bastard! Die! All of you die!”

Madam Lu’s reflexes were swift. She lunged to catch the child, barely averting disaster. In the piercing wail that echoed through the prince’s mansion, she clutched Jianshou in one arm and the little princess in the other, looking back to see Li Xiuyan drive the dagger into her own throat. Bl00d spurted three feet. She died on the spot.

“Your Highness—!”

By the time others arrived, they found Madam Lu drenched in bl00d and stunned, while the crimson flow from Li Xiuyan’s body would not stop no matter what they did.