Thirty-Six Stratagems for Divorcing a Wife (GL) - Chapter 2

People often say that children under three cannot form memories.

But that bloody scene imprinted itself in Lu Jianshou’s eyes and became her lifelong nightmare.

Those once-bright eyes turned dull and vacant.

It was as if she had shut herself inside her own world. Every time she closed her eyes, that moment replayed—bl00d spraying three feet high, and the heart-rending face of an innocent child.

Thirteen years passed in this way.

At fourteen, Lu Jianshou was still prone to staring off in a daze, indifferent to most things around her.

Several important events had happened during those years.

The first was when she was two, the family welcomed a younger cousin—Jin Qingqin, who had been betrothed in the womb to her elder brother Lu Jianyi, in order to escape the match arranged by Lord Yao.

The second was when she was six: the imperial Noble Consort Jin gave birth to a prince, who was immediately named Crown Prince. The already unstable court grew even more turbulent. Lu Jianyi was summoned to the palace to accompany the Crown Prince in his studies.

The third was when she was eight and ten, respectively: the Empress bore first a princess, then another legitimate son.

During the Lantern Festival in the capital, Lord Yao threw open the gates of his manor, celebrating with the common folk. It became the talk of the city.

“Cousin! Just come out with me for a bit of fun,” Jin Qingqin pleaded, tugging at her arm.

Lu Jianshou could never shake off this clingy, boy-crazy cousin. With a sigh, she teased, “Fine. I’ve heard Lord Yao’s daughter is said to be even more beautiful than her mother, that famed beauty of the Western Regions. My brother’s been pining after her forever, and I’ve long wanted a chance to see her myself.”

This made Jin Qingqin pout, lips pursed in displeasure as she dropped her cousin’s hand.

“What’s the matter? Weren’t you cheerful a moment ago? Why so down all of a sudden?” Lu Jianshou asked, puzzled.

“Hmph! I’m not upset. I just want to see how pretty this Miss Nian Shi really is!” Jin Qingqin huffed, clearly jealous, then stormed off ahead to lead the way.

Lu Jianshou could only shake her head in amusement. So the little cousin was jealous of thin air. And her brother too—falling in love so brazenly, neglecting his fiancée. He would need a proper scolding later.

Yet when Lord Yao’s grand parade arrived, there was no sign of the famed young lady.

Jin Qingqin’s sulk quickly dissipated as she dragged Lu Jianshou through the bustling crowd. They overheard nearby chatter:

“Bah! I even pushed aside business at my shop just to see the world’s number-one beauty, and she doesn’t even appear!”

“Exactly! My wife’s a maid at the Yao Manor. She once glimpsed the lady of the house during the little princess’s full-moon banquet. Even through a veil, she was breathtaking. And rumor has it her daughter surpasses even her! Why else hide her away so tightly?”

Just then, Lu Jianyi suddenly appeared from nowhere, declaring loudly:

“The young lady of the Yao Manor is as radiant as the moon itself—how dare the likes of you speak of her so crudely!”

Lu Jianshou blinked. Her brother? Wasn’t he supposed to be in the palace tutoring the Crown Prince? What on earth was he doing here?

Before she could make sense of it, he was already surrounded.

“Such arrogance! You look decent enough, yet your mouth spits such nasty words. A beauty is meant to be admired, isn’t she?” one man retorted.

Lu Jianshou slapped her forehead and tugged at Jin Qingqin’s sleeve. “My brother’s gone out without his brain. Go save him.”

“I won’t!” Jin Qingqin folded her arms, clearly enjoying the spectacle.

“I’ll buy you candied hawthorn skewers,” Lu Jianshou tempted.

Meanwhile, Lu Jianyi continued his impassioned speech: “A lady’s beauty is not for the likes of you to ogle! In truth, I once caught a fleeting glimpse of her. I was young then, reckless with passion—”

A sharp knock to the head cut him off. Jin Qingqin had smacked him. “Idiot! Your mother’s calling you home for dinner!”

“You again, you tigress!” Lu Jianyi groaned when he saw her face, annoyance plain. “I told you I won’t marry you—why do you keep following me?”

“As if I want to marry you! If your sister hadn’t begged me, I wouldn’t dirty my hands saving you!” she snapped, delivering another smack to the opposite side of his head. Then she yanked him by the arm toward Lu Jianshou.

“Hold it right there!” The ringleader blocked their path, eyes lighting up at the sight of Jin Qingqin’s beauty. “We’re not done talking. Why don’t we go to a tavern and continue, hm? My treat.”

“Sure, why not,” Jin Qingqin said breezily—but tightened her grip, hauling Lu Jianyi into the crowd to escape.

“After them!” the man barked. His lackeys gave chase, but only managed a few steps before they were stunned—Lu Jianyi reappeared ahead, calm and unruffled, strolling back with a folding fan in hand.

“My apologies for earlier, Young Master Xiao. Please don’t take offense,” he said smoothly.

Xiao Sheng faltered under the boy’s steady gaze. Still, as a spoiled fop, he puffed himself up: “Do you know who I am? I’m Xiao Sheng. An apology isn’t enough. Hand over that girl, then we’re even.”

Lu Jianshou nearly laughed aloud. If only he knew which family that “girl” belonged to! But as always, she had to clean up her twin brother’s mess. Stepping in as him, she smiled politely:

“My little sister is still young and foolish. Thank you for your… interest.”

And just like that, she “sold” Jin Qingqin, promising to bring her out another day.

Xiao Sheng, mollified, found this “new side” of Lu Jianyi oddly agreeable. They strolled together through the lantern fair for a while, until Lu Jianshou excused herself with a claim of urgent family matters.

Back at the manor, Jin Qingqin was frantic with worry at her cousin’s late return, while the culprit Lu Jianyi sipped tea unbothered.

“She’s a grown girl,” he said lazily. “She’ll be fine.”

When Lu Jianshou finally returned, back in her own attire, she dismissed Jin Qingqin’s fussing. Alone with her brother, she scolded:

“Do you realize who you provoked today? That was Xiao Sheng.”

“That eunuch’s adopted son?” Lu Jianyi sneered, clearly dismissive.

Her heart sank at his carelessness. “Can you not use your head? You’re the only son of our house. Every misstep disgraces the General’s Manor. Last time, fighting in the street over that young lady—Father heard about it in court! Aren’t you ashamed?”

“I did nothing wrong! They insulted Nian Shi!” he shot back.

Smack! She rapped his head. “Nian Shi, Nian Shi—can you think about anything else? I don’t care if you fight, but did you really have to shout Father’s name? And then lose the fight on top of it? Do you know how humiliating that is? I’ve raised you like both sister and mother—do you have any idea how hard it’s been? When will you finally grow up?”

While her lecture went on, their servant Chang Huan arrived with a letter. “Young Master, the Yao Manor has sent an invitation. The young lady requests to see you.”

“The young lady?!” Lu Jianyi bolted up like a man possessed, but was promptly tripped by his sister.

“Where do you think you’re going?” she said, arms crossed. “Father’s furious with you for brawling again. You’d better apologize, or you’ll be flogged.”

At the mention of their terrifying father, Lu Jianyi’s face turned pale. “Jianshou… what do I do? He’ll skin me alive!”

Helpless, she sighed. “Today you offended Xiao Sheng. I used your name to pry into his dealings. Turns out he’s abusing his post as a magistrate to profit from forbidden trade. Report this to Father, then raise it in court tomorrow. That will count as merit enough to spare you punishment.”

“My dear sister! I knew you’d save me!” He flung himself at her, only to be shoved away.

“This is as far as I’ll help. Ever since we were children, I’ve been cleaning up your messes. Who’s the older sibling here, really?”

“But…” He gazed longingly at the letter. “I still want to see Nian Shi…”

She snatched it from him. “Lust blinds you. Handle Father first!”

“How about—you go in my place?” he suggested cautiously.

For a moment she wanted to crack his skull open and see what was inside. But outwardly, she remained calm. “Fine. I’ll meet this Nian Shi myself and see what makes her so enchanting.”

Secretly, she hatched her own plan: if the girl truly was remarkable, she’d win her heart while posing as her brother, and marry her into the family. That way, her lovesick fool of a brother would stay out of trouble.

“Thank you…” For once, Lu Jianyi looked serious. “Jianshou… I know I’m useless. If only you were born a man, none of this would fall on you.”

He knew she had always been the more capable one.

But Lu Jianshou only waved him off lightly. “Enough. Just don’t cause trouble again.”

“Mm. I won’t. I’ll try to be a real man—responsible, with some backbone.”