Thirty-Six Stratagems for Divorcing a Wife (GL) - Chapter 3

In truth, aside from matters concerning Nian Shishi, Lu Jianyi was always measured and appropriate. But that person’s name was like a spell—as soon as it was mentioned, her elder brother lost all sense of normalcy.

They were fraternal twins, and Lu Jianzhou couldn’t understand why this was the case.

The meeting place was set at Liuque Bridge in the southern part of the city.

Lu Jianzhou was somewhat directionally challenged, but after following Chang Huan through several winding turns, she finally arrived. From a distance, she saw a graceful figure in white seated there, playing the zither.

Lanterns still drifted across the pool under the bridge.

It was the season of swirling willows, and with music lingering in the air, the scene carried an even deeper resonance.

Unlike the liveliness upstream, this place was quiet and desolate, like a corner of solitude.

Leaning against the railing, Lu Jianzhou crossed to the other side. Facing the familiar-looking silhouette, she said, “Miss Nian is indeed unmatched in both talent and beauty. Though I do not understand music, even I can hear how pleasant your playing is.”

She deliberately imitated her brother’s refined manner of speech, but in the end, they were two different people—it felt a little awkward.

She heard a light laugh, and the delicate figure turned around. At that moment, Lu Jianzhou suddenly felt as if she had stepped into the poem Song of the Pipa.

But there was no “half-hidden pipa behind the face.” Instead, there was a sudden flutter in her chest, like birdsong gliding beneath flowers.

“‘Spring river at dawn, autumn moon at night, often I drink alone, lifting the cup by myself.’” Shocked by Nian Shishi’s beauty, Lu Jianzhou unconsciously recited a line of poetry.

Nian Shishi’s smile had a captivating power. Looking softly at her, she murmured, “Actually, my favorite line has always been: ‘When the song ends, even the masters are humbled; adorned and painted, often envied by other beauties.’ I wonder, did my Phoenix Hairpin just now move your heart, Young Master?”

Lu Jianzhou had little interest in qin, chess, calligraphy, or painting, but when asked like this, she still stammered out, “M-m-moved.”

Nian Shishi chuckled: “Young Master seems a little different from the last time we met.”

“How so?” Lu Jianzhou asked in surprise. Her disguise should have been flawless—she had only been seen once before. But under that radiant smile, she was again momentarily dazed. No wonder my brother is so infatuated! Even as a woman, how can I resist this smile?

“You’ve gotten dumber.” Nian Shishi’s smile was like a hundred flowers blooming. “Last time, you matched a few couplets with me. This time you claim you don’t understand music. Is it modesty… or modesty?”

Only then did Lu Jianzhou realize: her brother was scholarly, but she herself merely doodled flowers and fought with swords. But—calling her dumb? Comparing her to her slow-witted brother? That stung her pride!

So she changed the subject: “I simply had no heart for playing today. But for the young lady to summon me so late at night—there must be something urgent?”

No sooner had she spoken than Nian Shishi leaned closer—leaned closer—leaned closer!

“What do you think it could be?” she asked, her gaze deep and unreadable.

For the first time, Lu Jianzhou panicked. She dared not meet her eyes, stepped back hastily, nearly tumbling into the river. Luckily, her martial training allowed her to grab a branch for support. “M-miss, please mind yourself! How could I possibly know why a noble lady would call me out at midnight… If you won’t say, I’ll just leave…”

Nian Shishi, pleased by her reaction, raised her brows and teased, “Surely you know—at this hour, a man and a woman alone… what else could possibly happen?”

Then, deliberately, she stepped even closer, forcing Lu Jianzhou right to the river’s edge.

“You—you shameless woman!” Lu Jianzhou sputtered, grasping for words. And then, with nowhere left to retreat, she saw that beautiful face shimmering in the water’s reflection—closer, closer—until finally, it pressed against her lips.

A kiss—clumsy, yet prying open her lips, greedy, tasting her teeth.

Lu Jianzhou’s face burned crimson down to her neck. She shoved hard, their mouths parting with silver threads between them.

Before she could recover, Nian Shishi’s enchanting, hungry expression burned into her mind. Then—“splash!”—she stumbled straight into the river.

“Heh, are you even a man? How can you be so useless?” Nian Shishi knelt by the bank, smiling slyly, chin resting on her hand, the very picture of girlish charm.

Lu Jianzhou had never imagined that the lady her brother adored could be like this. Truly, a beauty’s heart is as deep as the sea. She felt utterly cheated—her first kiss stolen! Was this what men liked—women without the slightest restraint?

“I’m not even a man!” Lu Jianzhou shouted furiously, slapping away Nian Shishi’s offered hand, and swam off.

Nian Shishi watched the dripping figure retreat into the distance, lips curving into a faint smile.

Not long after, an old woman appeared behind her, holding the zither. She too looked at the fleeing figure, frowning. “That may not have been Young Master Lu.”

“I know~” Nian Shishi turned back, her face bright as ever. “The two look exactly alike. That must have been Lu Jianzhou instead.”

The old woman fell silent, then asked, “So the young lady acted deliberately just now? But why?”

After all, Nian Shishi was still only thirteen. Her smile was tinged with childishness. “No reason. I just… enjoy it. Seeing her, it felt fun to do it that way.”

“You really like Nian Shishi, the kind of girl she is?” The moment she got home, Lu Jianzhou dragged her brother out for a serious talk.

Lu Jianyi gave her a foolish look—as if asking what on earth that mark on her neck was—then earnestly replied, “Shishi… Shishi is refined, accomplished in music, and so beautiful… We may have only met once, but our conversation was… harmonious.”

“I don’t know about your poetry or music nonsense, but aside from being pretty, how is that girl refined? And only meeting once—you call that proper? She’s still a girl!” Lu Jianzhou retorted, ignoring the fact that she herself was dressed as a man and hardly resembled a “proper lady.”

“What do you mean, improper…” Lu Jianyi muttered, baffled. “That time you were there too, remember? When we were ten, at Princess Fencui’s full moon banquet. His Majesty asked for couplets to test the courtiers. You were writing prompts for me on the teacup, but every time Shishi answered first. That proves how talented she is.”

Ten years old?

Lu Jianzhou had no memory of it. That was the year she fell from a tree, shattering many of her childhood recollections.

But the way her brother told it—nothing happened worth all this fuss! “So just because she matched a few couplets, you like her? What about me? I can match couplets too—why don’t you like me?”

“…You’re my little sister. And besides, I’d have to be a narcissist to like you…”

“…Pretend I never asked!”

Lu Jianzhou told him about the riverbank, but Lu Jianyi stubbornly refused to believe her. Yet in his heart, he knew his sister would not lie. After much thought, he concluded: “Even if you want me to abandon my feelings, you needn’t slander her. On the contrary, after your description, she seems even more genuine and lively to me… even more adorable.”

“Adorable, my ass!” Lu Jianzhou nearly wanted to crack his skull open to see what filled it. Furious, she stormed off. “Whatever—time for training at the barracks!”

Recently, Lu Wang had been drilling his troops tirelessly, and it was only then that his “sickly son” could be shown off with pride before the generals.

But he didn’t know—the dutiful “son” at the barracks was actually his daughter in disguise.

Both siblings were frail.

But while Lu Jianyi could not endure hardship, Lu Jianzhou loved martial training.

By their father’s plan, after age ten, the boy should have studied martial arts, the girl should have learned calligraphy and painting.

But the twins swapped paths instead.

Once, when Lu Jianyi fell ill from overtraining, her sister dressed as him and secretly took his place—discovering she loved the sword and battlefield.

When she returned, guilty, she wanted to propose alternating days—she would go on odd days, he on even. But she found her brother, still sick, diligently finishing all her calligraphy homework.

So…

They silently agreed to the ruse: “delicate in daily life, but a three-second real man on the training grounds—Lu Jianyi.”

That day, “Lu Jianyi” (in truth Jianzhou) had barely entered the drill yard when she overheard soldiers gossiping. Rumors said the border was restless; the general might soon march to war. The men were restless too—some eager, some anxious.

Slowly stepping into the yard, she was immediately summoned by Lu Wang. “Last night, did you secretly meet the young lady?”

Lu Jianzhou froze, then forced herself calm. “Impossible—last night, Jianyi was with you the whole time.”

Lu Wang stroked his beard, troubled. “After court this morning, His Majesty detained me. He said he had received such a report. I denied it, but serving a king is like serving a tiger. He praised you greatly, and now you must go to the frontier.”

“The frontier?” A bad premonition rose in her chest.

Lu Wang sighed heavily, then looked skyward and declared loudly:

“Edict from the Emperor! Son of the Grand Marshal, Lu Jianyi, receive the decree! By Heaven’s will, the Emperor proclaims: Lu Jianyi, companion to the Crown Prince, ever loyal to the court, has uncovered the treason of Xiao Sheng colluding with merchants to smuggle salt. For his talents and promise, and hearing he possesses the makings of a great general, he is hereby appointed Fifth-Rank General of Xuande, to accompany his father Lu Wang in pacifying the northern border and repelling foreign raiders. He is to depart soon. May he gain experience, earn merit for the realm, and be rewarded accordingly. Thus decreed.”

“Your servant… accepts.”

Lu Jianzhou knelt on one knee, heart in chaos. Because of my reckless meeting, we were spied on, and now my defenseless brother must be sent to the flames of war…