To Be the Male Lead's Deceased First Wife in a Historical Chinese Exam-focused Novel - Chapter 38

Chapter 38: Tired?

Their eyes met in the air. Neither of them spoke, but the atmosphere was clearly becoming more and more tense.

The people around them quieted down a lot. There were only occasional whispers, and their eyes kept darting back and forth between the newcomer and Wen Ying.

“Hmm?”

The previous shout of “Yan An” was a little loud, and since it was her name, Yan An groggily opened her eyes. She let out a small yawn and said, “What’s wrong?”

She sat up straight and rubbed her shoulders and neck. When she noticed that the atmosphere was a little strange, her mind finally cleared up. After looking around, her eyes landed on the person in the courtyard who was clearly not from Nanya Village.

At first glance, she might not remember who this person was, but the satin clothes and fox fur cape made Yan An quickly realize who she was.

She was shocked and instinctively wondered if this person was here to ask her for her money back.

“Miss?” Yan An subconsciously called out.

Seeing her like this, Ji Wan’s gaze lowered. Wen Ying’s hand on Yan An’s waist had not been removed yet. She actually found it a little an eyesore, especially Wen Ying’s quiet eyes looking at her, which made her instinctively feel displeased.

“Yan An! Come here!” Ji Wan’s chin was slightly raised, and her tone was extremely haughty.

Yan An: “???”

“It doesn’t seem like she’s here to ask me for money. If she’s not, then why is she here?”

“Is there something you need? Come and sit. There’s a fire here,” Yan An didn’t move. She was warm and comfortable right now, and she didn’t want to leave.

Seeing that she didn’t listen to her, Ji Wan stomped her foot in annoyance. She looked at the people around her and wanted to turn around and leave, but thinking about Yan An, Ji Wan finally suppressed her temper and walked to the fire pit.

The maid she brought immediately pulled a chair for her. She sat across from Yan An, trying her best to ignore Wen Ying beside Yan An. She said a little eagerly, “Are you not studying anymore? I heard from the manager of Hui Xiang Lou that you plan to become a village cook?”

Hearing her ask this, Yan An paused for a moment. A question mark appeared in her mind. “So this young lady came all this way just to ask me this?”

And she even accurately found Auntie Zhou’s house!

“No, I’m not. I hurt my head and lost my memory,” Yan An said casually. She noticed the awkwardness of Auntie Zhou’s family out of the corner of her eye. After all, it was their banquet today, and Ji Wan’s uninvited visit must have made them feel a little awkward.

She sighed softly in her heart and got up. “Let’s go outside and talk.”

There was still some free time now, so they could talk for a few minutes.

When she heard Yan An say this, Wen Ying’s body stiffened slightly.

But this time, it was Ji Wan who didn’t want to move. She gave a meaningful look to her maid and said to Auntie Zhou, “I heard you’re holding a full moon banquet. I wonder if I can join in the fun?”

As soon as she finished speaking, the maid handed a red envelope to Auntie Zhou.

As soon as she held it, the weight immediately made Auntie Zhou realize that there was probably a lot inside. She immediately said happily, “It’s our daughter’s good fortune that a noble person like you is willing to join in the fun. Sit down later and try Yan An’s cooking. Her food is very delicious.”

When she heard her say that Yan An’s food was delicious, Ji Wan’s face stiffened slightly.

Auntie Zhou immediately realized that she might have said the wrong thing. She quickly told the onlookers to go inside, giving Ji Wan and them some space to talk.

After the unrelated people left, the courtyard was suddenly much quieter.

Ji Wan looked at Yan An, recalling the expression on Yan An’s face when she said that. “How could she be so calm about not studying anymore and losing her memory?”

“Why didn’t you tell me!” Ji Wan said a little emotionally. She had only found out about Yan An’s recent whereabouts when she went to Hui Xiang Lou yesterday and the manager told her. If it hadn’t been so late yesterday, she wouldn’t have waited until today to come.

Yan An was silent for a moment. She said very seriously, “I already told you that I lost my memory. How could I tell you when I don’t even remember you?”

Wen Ying sat beside her, her gaze lowered as she quietly watched the burning fire pit, as if everything had nothing to do with her.

“So you weren’t lying to me…” Ji Wan’s voice was much lower. She seemed to feel a little guilty for being upset when she thought Yan An was playing a trick on her.

Yan An didn’t know what to say. She was a little guilty, after all. The biggest “sponsor” of her life now was this young lady who was suspected to be the original owner’s lover.

Ji Wan’s eyes turned to Wen Ying. Her hand on her lap clenched. “Then why do you remember her?”

And they were so close just now!

“I didn’t remember her at first, but later I found out that she’s my wife,” Yan An shook her head and said calmly.

Ji Wan looked a little sad. “But you used to only be good to me. Why is everything different now?”

Yan An felt a little helpless when she heard this. She didn’t know what kind of feelings the original owner had for Ji Wan, but since she had agreed to marry Wen Ying, she should have known that it was impossible for her and Ji Wan to be together. But her actions were at odds with her thoughts.

What would she get in the end from cold-shouldering her wife after marriage and being caring and attentive to someone who was impossible to be with?

It only made her look like a person with a bad character.

“Miss Ji, everything changes. People are the same way, so you don’t need to care so much about what I’m doing.” Yan An felt like she was sitting on pins and needles, knowing that she had specially come all the way to the village to find her.

She was also a little confused about what kind of feelings Ji Wan had for the original owner. It felt a little ambiguous, but it hadn’t reached the state of a mutual love between lovers.

Ji Wan’s behavior was more like a possessiveness toward someone who used to only be good to her, but suddenly wasn’t anymore.

She was used to having a monopoly, and she couldn’t adapt to someone else getting a share.

Wen Ying, who was sitting beside Yan An, turned her head to look at Yan An when she heard this. When she looked away, she closed her eyes slightly, hiding the darkness in them.

“Does everything change?”

“Will the current Yan An suddenly change her attitude towards me one day?”

An uneasy feeling made Wen Ying secretly clench her hands and try her best to endure. She didn’t want to think about this question any further.

Ji Wan looked at Yan An stubbornly, and her voice even had a hint of grievance.

“You once said that you would always be good to me.”

Yan An: “…”

“The original owner even knew how to say sweet words.”

“Miss Ji,” Yan An said helplessly. “You see my current situation. I’ve not only lost my memory, but I also have a wife. No matter what, we should maintain the necessary boundaries. Please don’t say such things that could cause a misunderstanding in the future.”

When Ji Wan heard her say this, her eyes widened involuntarily, as if she couldn’t believe it.

Yan An ignored her gaze and added two more pieces of wood to the fire pit. “Did you come all this way just to say these things?”

Ji Wan was silent. She looked at Yan An’s calm and casual appearance and felt extremely uncomfortable. She said angrily, “How can you not continue studying for the imperial examinations? What’s so good about cooking for others?”

Although the status of a cook in this dynasty was not low, it was completely out of place with the future Yan An could have had.

Yan An: “…Cooking for others makes money.”

“Do you think I was born to love cooking for others?”

“I have money. I’ll give you money. Don’t do these things anymore,” Ji Wan frowned. “If you become an official in the future, how will people look at you if they find out you used to do these things?”

Scholars in this dynasty valued a good reputation the most. In their eyes, a cook was also a low-class profession.

“When did I ever say that I would continue to take the imperial examinations? I’ve already given up,” Yan An said a little weakly. She felt that she had already explained this question at least three times, and she was already tired of it herself.

“How can you do that!” Ji Wan said emotionally.

“You’ve studied hard for so many years. How can you just give up? If you say you lost your memory and don’t have money to study, I can give it to you!”

Looking at her, it seemed as if she was even more upset than Yan An that she was not taking the imperial examinations.

Wen Ying, who was at the side, stiffened slightly but still maintained her original posture without moving.

“We are not related, so this is too presumptuous,” Yan An waved her hands repeatedly. The situation between the original owner and her was already unclear. If she accepted her sponsorship, their relationship would become even more complicated.

Especially since Ji Wan was doing this entirely because of the original owner. But she was not the original owner. It wouldn’t feel right for her to accept someone else’s kindness using the original owner’s identity.

“Yan An!”

Ji Wan became even angrier when she heard her say this.

Yan An sighed softly and said as calmly as possible, “I know you mean well, but since I have already decided to give up the imperial examinations, I have naturally thought it through carefully. Not to mention that I didn’t pass before, even if I were to relearn and continue to take the exams now, how many years would it take to reach my original level? How many times would I have to take the exam to pass?”

“Miss Ji, I don’t want to waste any more time on these empty and uncertain things.”

Ji Wan was stunned and looked at Yan An blankly.

Yan An took a deep breath and got up. “If you want to stay and eat, then sit. I need to get busy now.”

Yan An didn’t want to say anything more to her. Even though she knew that Ji Wan might really keep giving her money to study, she was not alone. She had Wen Ying.

If she accepted the sponsorship Ji Wan gave her, what would happen to Wen Ying? Given Ji Wan’s situation, would she be willing to sponsor Wen Ying as well? Even if she was, how could they accept it so comfortably?

Even the money pouch from before, Yan An had kept it against her conscience. She always wanted to make enough money in the future to return it to her. Not to mention the huge favor of sponsoring her to study for the imperial examinations.

If she did that, she would be completely entangled with Ji Wan.

After Yan An left to get busy, only Wen Ying and Ji Wan and her maid were left by the fire pit. For a moment, it seemed like they could only hear the crackling of the firewood in the pit.

“Why was Yan An willing to marry you in the first place?” Ji Wan finally couldn’t resist asking.

Wen Ying looked up at her quietly and said slowly, “She never told me, so how would I know?”

Ji Wan’s eyebrows furrowed, and she felt even more annoyed. She looked at Wen Ying’s face. It wasn’t an outstanding face, not to mention that she was from a farming family and was illiterate. No matter how she looked at it, she didn’t seem like the type that Yan An would like.

“Miss Ji, no matter what, when Yan An and I got married, it wasn’t done in secret. If you really didn’t want her to marry me, why didn’t you stop it? What’s the point of saying all this now?” Wen Ying’s tone was very calm. Although she knew that she was not as good as Ji Wan, she was still unwilling to show her weakness in front of her.

“You…”

Ji Wan was speechless. Wen Ying had hit a sore spot. She had only been trying to get a rise out of Yan An. Who knew that Yan An would turn around and get married to someone else?

A faint smile appeared on Wen Ying’s face. “Even if she hadn’t married me, what kind of love do you have for Yan An, Miss Ji? Is it really possible for you to be with Yan An?”

After saying that, she also got up and left to get busy.

As one by one they left, it was time to get busy again. The courtyard gradually became lively again, but Ji Wan, who was in the middle of the liveliness, felt extremely cold.

“I just don’t want Yan An to get married. I don’t want her to belong to anyone else. I just want her to only have me in her eyes. Is that so wrong?”

“Why does it have to be a love between a man and a woman?

She could hang out and have fun with Yan An, but her mother would never agree to her marrying Yan An. Not to mention that they were both women, their family backgrounds were not a match.

Ji Wan slumped down, her eyebrows showing a sad and aggrieved expression. She couldn’t understand why relationships with people had to be so complicated. “Couldn’t everything just be like it was before?”

“Miss, should we go back?” Qing’er, who was beside her, asked softly. In fact, she didn’t really approve of Ji Wan coming all this way. In her opinion, Yan An wasn’t worth this much effort. However, she was just Ji Wan’s maid, so how could she change Ji Wan’s mind?

“No! I’m staying! I want to see how good her cooking is that she thinks she can make a living out of it!” Ji Wan’s previous dejectedness was gone. She regained her usual arrogant and haughty demeanor, as if she was ready to nitpick everything if there was a single thing that wasn’t done well.

Qing’er wanted to say something, but she didn’t. She just waited with Ji Wan.

Ji Wan looked up at Yan An, who was busy on the other side. Wen Ying was helping her. It was as if Wen Ying knew what Yan An would need next as soon as she handed her one thing. The two of them worked together with perfect understanding.

As she watched, Ji Wan’s face wrinkled up. The Yan An she used to know, who looked so weak and thin, was now wearing a gray apron. Her sleeves were rolled up, revealing half of her arm. She held a spatula in one hand and the large wok in the other. As she expertly stir-fried, the rich aroma of the food spread out.

“This…”

“Is this still the Yan An I used to know, the one who couldn’t carry anything heavy?” “Why does it feel like she can run 500 meters without even breathing hard now?”

While Ji Wan was shocked and doubting herself, Yan An, who was busy on the other side, didn’t have time to think about the young lady sitting there. She started to plate the dishes on the plates that Wen Ying had prepared beforehand. Someone was already standing by with a plate, ready to serve the dishes.

Although the weather was cold, the people who came to eat were all smiling. They sat down and waited for the dishes to be served.

Ji Wan was also invited to sit at the table for honored guests by Auntie Zhou. Looking at the dishes on the table that had no special presentation, Ji Wan pursed her lips. Qing’er, who was sitting next to her, was very perceptive and helped her serve the dishes.

It was unprecedented for her to sit at a table with strangers. Ji Wan was a little uncomfortable at first, but after tasting the dishes Yan An had made, her expression gradually froze.

She had never known that Yan An could cook. “Did I know too little about Yan An before? Or did too many things happen in the time after Yan An got married that I’ve completely lost touch with her?”

After she finished the last vegetable dish and served it, Yan An’s work was finally done. Only then did she remember the person she had ignored for a long time.

She looked around the courtyard. When she saw Ji Wan sitting at the same table as the hosts and eating quietly, she was a little surprised.

She didn’t expect that she would actually stay and eat.

Thinking that Ji Wan was the daughter of the county magistrate, she must have eaten many good things that many people hadn’t. Thinking about this, Yan An walked toward Ji Wan.

Wen Ying, who was beside her, saw Yan An suddenly walk toward Ji Wan without a word. A burning pain suddenly came from her fingertip. She had accidentally touched the hot iron pot she had just used.

She looked down at her finger, which was already turning red. She pinched it with her thumb, and her lips were straight without any smile.

…

Yan An came to Ji Wan’s table. Auntie Zhou’s eyes lit up when she saw her coming. She kept complimenting her, saying that she was indispensable to the success of today’s full moon banquet.

Yan An smiled and accepted her praise. Then she looked at Ji Wan. Seeing her look up at her quietly, she asked, “How is it? Is there anything that’s not done well?”

Ji Wan pinched the chopsticks in her hand. Her eyes darted to the almost empty plates on the table. She said coldly, “There’s no presentation. It has no aesthetic appeal.”

Seeing that she paused for a few seconds and only said that, the smile on Yan An’s face deepened.

“It’s a large pot of food. I had to make too many dishes at once. There’s no time for presentation.” If it were shrimp, she might arrange them nicely, but for the other dishes that were cooked in one pot, they had to be served as soon as they came out of the pot. There was no time for presentation.

Ji Wan paused for a moment, and finally said, “It’s not bad. It’s just so-so.”

Yan An had rejected her so mercilessly before. Now, she was expected to praise her in front of so many people. Ji Wan felt that she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

When Yan An heard her say that, she nodded and smiled. “Then it seems I have a lot of room for improvement.”

The people at the same table looked at each other when they heard Ji Wan’s words. Seeing that Yan An didn’t seem to care, they also quietly pretended not to hear and continued to eat.

“Then you can eat slowly. I’m going to eat too,” Yan An said in the end.

After Yan An left, an annoyed expression appeared on Ji Wan’s face. She regretted saying those words stubbornly just now.

In fact, although Yan An’s dishes didn’t have a delicate presentation, they were extremely appetizing, and the taste was not at all inferior to the chefs at Hui Xiang Lou.

After that, she didn’t have much of an appetite. She would look over at Yan An’s table from time to time with a sullen expression. Since Yan An was sitting with Wen Ying, if she wanted to look at Yan An, she would inevitably see Wen Ying. Plus, the interactions between them…

Ji Wan: “…”

“An eyesore! A complete eyesore!”

“Are they great just because they’re a couple now? They’re still outside. How can they be so intimate in front of others? It’s a disgrace to the scholars!”

Ji Wan was so full of anger that she didn’t feel hungry anymore. She put down her chopsticks, got up, and was about to leave.

Qing’er saw this and quickly got up to follow her. Auntie Zhou and the others saw this and instinctively looked at Yan An’s table. However, Yan An was looking down at Wen Ying, who was peeling a shrimp for her. She didn’t even look up.

Auntie Zhou and the others: “…”

Of course, no one wanted to see them cause a scene, so no one reminded Yan An.

After they were outside the courtyard, Ji Wan still hadn’t seen Yan An catch up. She became even more annoyed. Her footsteps were heavy and fast as she got into the carriage.

Qing’er also quickly got into the carriage. Seeing Ji Wan looking furious, she couldn’t help but say in a low voice, “Miss, Scholar Yan is right. She’s already married now. You should keep your distance from her, or it will be bad for your own reputation.”

Since Yan An was able to marry a woman, it meant that she must like women. If Ji Wan continued to interact with Yan An without boundaries, and considering their intimate past actions, people would probably start to think and say some unflattering things.

“But I just don’t feel right!” Ji Wan’s nose was red as she said this.

“But no matter how you feel, she has her own life to live. Our actions might cause her some trouble,” Qing’er’s voice became even quieter. She was truly gathering her courage to say these things.

Ji Wan looked at Qing’er as if she was about to cry. “How was she supposed to know that in the time it took her to throw a tantrum, everything would change completely?”

Seeing her like this, Qing’er sighed helplessly. She had to remind her of a very important matter.

“In three years, you’ll be taking the imperial examinations. Isn’t the most important thing you should be doing right now is studying hard? Otherwise, your mother will get on your case again.”

Ji Wan: “…”

As soon as she thought about the miserable life she was about to live, Ji Wan suddenly wanted to cry even more.

…

Wen Ying placed the peeled shrimp meat in Yan An’s bowl. She casually glanced at the direction of the door. Even though there were some noisy sounds around her, her sharp ears still heard the sound of the carriage leaving.

She picked up another shrimp and started peeling it. Wen Ying’s expression remained calm, and it was impossible to tell what she was truly thinking in her heart.

“Before… Yan An smiled at Ji Wan so happily.”

“Wen Ying, don’t just focus on peeling shrimp. Hurry up and eat, or the food will get cold,” Yan An said. They were already eating later than everyone else. If they kept dawdling like this, the food would be completely cold.

“Okay,” Wen Ying replied calmly. She placed the peeled shrimp meat back in Yan An’s bowl, wiped her hands clean, and started to eat.

Yan An couldn’t help but look at her a few more times when she heard her emotionless voice. She couldn’t help but ask in a small voice, “What’s wrong? You seem a little listless. Are you tired?”

Wen Ying: “…”

She glared at Yan An. Yan An’s face was full of concern. She truly seemed to think that she was tired, which was why she was so distant.

For a moment, it felt like something was stuck in her throat. She couldn’t vent this feeling, which made her feel suffocated.

“No,” Wen Ying said after a pause.

Yan An looked at her with a doubtful expression.

“It’s impossible that you’re not tired. You got up so early and did so much work. You’re not made of iron. Go home and rest after you finish eating.”

Wen Ying: “…”

Although Yan An was concerned about her, Wen Ying felt that her concern wasn’t quite hitting the mark.