To Covet (GL) - Chapter 5

Yu Zhouwan didn’t return until almost eleven o’clock again. Shi Yunya was working overtime today, and she made up a random excuse to fool Yu Hanyang, slammed the door and returned to her room, not staying in the living room for a second.

I stood up, holding my newly bought study materials, and knocked on her door.

“What?” It wasn’t Yu Zhouwan who asked me, but Yu Hanyang.

“I have something I don’t understand, I want to ask my sister.” I clenched the pen in my hand and glanced down at the inch-thick math textbook in my arms, “I have an exam in two weeks when school starts.”

Yu Zhouwan reluctantly opened the door, revealing half of her body. She probably couldn’t understand why I was so enthusiastic about talking to her today.

In fact, I was just interested in her room and wanted to find an excuse to go in and take a look.

“As your elder sister, you should tutor your younger sister in her studies.” Yu Hanyang smiled kindly at us, “If you can’t keep up at the beginning, it will be very hard later. Dad has been through this too.”

Yu Zhouwan stepped aside and let me in.

The huge room had only one light source, the desk lamp, and the bookshelf covering the entire wall was in the shadows. Her desk was full of various books, mostly with English covers. Among the piles of books was a small scented candle, from which a wisp of quickly dissipating smoke occasionally drifted out. Only then did I realize that the fragrance on her body came from here.

“Sit wherever you want.” She pointed to the direction of the bed.

I dragged a chair with a backrest and sat next to her. As an uninvited guest who broke into a private area, it was necessary to draw a clear line.

Linzhou Foreign Language valued English courses very much. The other courses were arranged the same as other schools. Yu Zhouwan squatted on the draft paper, drawing and asking me if I knew these formulas. The learning pace of No. 7 Middle School was notoriously fast. New content was taught throughout the summer vacation, and a placement test was arranged as soon as school started.

“What’s wrong with your hand?” I looked up from the combination of letters and numbers.

“I scratched it while moving things.” She raised her other hand and covered the place with the bandage, “I went to the hospital to get it treated, it’s fine.”

“Oh…”

I said “oh” dubiously, narrowed my eyes, and glanced at her naturally drooping collar. Unfortunately, the light was too dim, and I couldn’t see anything.

People have an innate ability to sense other people’s gazes. But before Yu Zhouwan looked up and met my eyes, I had already turned my gaze to the pen tip moving on the paper.

Yu Hanyang hired a one-on-one tutor for math, physics, and chemistry. I didn’t know until I was dragged out of bed the next morning. Classes lasted from eight in the morning until five in the afternoon, with almost no rest except for lunch.

I, who had always been raised freely by my mother and grandmother, found this kind of “care” inexplicable, and suddenly changed from a free person enjoying the holiday to a student.

Unable to control my time at will, I couldn’t follow Yu Zhouwan out. The restless curiosity not only didn’t dissipate, but even tended to grow in the direction of fantasy. In the blank moments of my mind, her face appeared in my mind, imagining whether she was dating that invisible person, or even hugging the other person while kissing and saying sweet words.

In addition to disgust and contempt, I became more determined in my plan. Under the pen tip were not complex and unfamiliar formulas, but a vivid depiction of the chaotic scene of their family of three tearing their faces apart and fighting each other.

But before that, I had to maintain a pretense of affection and get closer to her.

I had only two photos of Yu Zhouwan, one of her back and one of her side face, and the cut photos were disguised by a dirty diary.

Two photos were far from enough. I needed more, more explicit photos that could destroy her self-esteem.

Before school started, Yu Hanyang held my report card and repeatedly gave me long speeches with different emphases, the general idea being that I should not disappoint my mother’s expectations before her death and become a promising talent.

And that he would support me at all costs, as long as I studied hard, and other such platitudes.

I touched my pocket, which contained a stack of photo paper that I was about to throw into the trash can downstairs.

“People can’t come back to life,” Yu Hanyang patted my shoulder, “I’m sorry for you and your mother.”

I blinked and pretended to have an epiphany.

Looking back on the years from Yang Chun’s diagnosis to her death, I still didn’t feel much emotional turmoil. Occasionally, when I thought about it, I just felt very dazed, like waking up one morning and habitually groping for something, but suddenly remembering that it had long been lost.

The photos in the drawer were all taken by me for Yang Chun over the years, some of her cooking, some of her working, some of her walking, some of her smiling, some of her angry and frowning, and some of her dating various people in various places.

The purpose of taking these photos was simple. I wanted to record why Yang Chun had changed so completely, from a mother who once loved her daughter to a stranger.

But this was tantamount to extortion for her, like the sword of Damocles hanging over her head, which eventually led Yang Chun to smash the camera in anger and beg me to understand her and let her go.

After all, I was the only spiritual harbor in her short life that was connected by bl00d. She would come back and cry to me when she was beaten by Yu Hanyang or given the cold shoulder by her boyfriend.

After school started, Yu Hanyang offered to drive me to and from school every weekend. I very sensibly refused him on the grounds that I should have been independent long ago.

I hated being restricted to doing something at a fixed time.

The punctual school curfew completely deprived me of the opportunity to see Yu Zhouwan, and she herself completely “changed her face” after school started—every time I came home, I would see her arguing with Shi Yunya. The specific reason was unknown. To prevent being implicated, I would lock myself in the room, and their quarrel would stop the moment I got home.

From the vague words, I roughly deduced that Shi Yunya had found out that Yu Zhouwan often lied to her and even skipped evening self-study to do something unknown outside the school, so she was now under a “house arrest order” and had to come home on time every night.

Shi Yunya didn’t care about the underlying reasons. She was eager for Yu Zhouwan to cut off all these irrelevant things and concentrate on the path her mother had paved for her.

Yu Zhouwan wasn’t as smart as I thought. She was very stubborn when she got emotional. Shi Yunya couldn’t stand it and slapped her.

Yu Hanyang went to coax his wife. I gently knocked on Yu Zhouwan’s door.

I didn’t really want to comfort her. In fact, seeing her and Shi Yunya at loggerheads after she was slapped by Shi Yunya, I was a little inexplicably happy.

I preferred to see her lose and be frustrated when the story developed unexpectedly, rather than watching Yu Zhouwan’s impassive ice face every day.

Perhaps it was subconscious jealousy that’s at work.

Yu Zhouwan didn’t let me in until I opened my mouth to identify myself. There was a wet patch of tears on her quilt, and her eyes were swollen from crying. I handed her a wet wipe and an ice pack, and she cleared her throat and said thank you.

I sat next to her in silence, secretly observing her uncontrollable sobbing.

“Does it hurt a lot?” The warmth of her cheek warmed my palm.

“Does she hit you often?”

Yu Zhouwan shook her head: “Never before.”

That made sense. Yu Zhouwan was her treasure. It hurt her mother’s heart to hit her daughter. She probably couldn’t bear to say harsh words to her usually.

Mother and daughter were connected. Shi Yunya must have guessed that Yu Zhouwan didn’t go home on time every day because she had a rebellious streak. She was troubled by not being able to find evidence, and her daughter wouldn’t tell the truth. In the midst of a crisis of trust, she was extremely angry.

“Yu Keyi, I said…” Yu Zhouwan sniffed, “Forget it, you won’t understand.”

Although this way of speaking halfway was annoying, thinking that she used to address me with “you” and never used a name, I didn’t know if this was an improvement in attitude. I cared more about this and didn’t rush to get information out of her.

“Okay, don’t be sad. Do you have any medicine for swelling and pain?”

I opened the drawer according to her instructions and took out a box of almost empty ointment.

“My mother used to pinch my ears and call me a little brat when she was angry.” I squatted in front of Yu Zhouwan, “Because I poured out her precious essence water and used the glass bottle to raise sea monkeys, those colorful little balls that would grow bigger when soaked in water.”

Yu Zhouwan chuckled.

But a pang of sadness welled up in my heart. So this was how it felt to mention a dead relative.

Support during times of vulnerability is always helpful. I believed I would gradually gain her trust.

I propped my hands on the chair, shifting my gaze from her to the cracks in the floor.

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me,” she got up and walked towards the bathroom, “Go back to sleep, it’s too late.”

“Sister, since you know she’ll be angry if you’re not punctual, why don’t you come back earlier?” I asked innocently.

“I’ve been dealing with some annoying things lately, I won’t do it again.”

I knew she wouldn’t tell me. It didn’t matter, I would find the evidence myself.

“Wait, Yu Keyi,” Yu Zhouwan changed her mind and stopped me again, “Can I ask you a favor?”

Yu Zhouwan cupped a handful of cold water and splashed it on her face. The hideous palm print on her left cheek became clearer. Her fingertips trembled as she rubbed away the dried tear stains on her face, while I stood woodenly at the bathroom door. I remained motionless as Yu Zhouwan frantically picked up a half-melted ice pack and pressed it against her face.

Enthusiasm and thoughtfulness had to be measured. It was clear that Yu Zhouwan needed my help. I wanted her to plead, not command, and definitely not just ask.

Yu Zhouwan applied anti-swelling ointment while looking in the mirror, asking me about the situation at school, such as the time evening self-study ended.

“Eight thirty… eight thirty, you probably haven’t finished evening self-study yet,” she murmured, “Yu Keyi, promise me, I’ll go to No. 7 Middle School to find you next Monday after school. If Mom and Dad ask, just say you’re not feeling well and wanted to come home early, okay?”

“Yu Keyi,” Yu Zhouwan closed her eyes, her eyelashes still wet, twisted into tiny inverted triangles, “As long as you don’t tell Mom and Dad, I’ll agree to anything.”

For a moment, I almost thought we were sisters by bl00d.

“Yu Keyi, no matter what, you’re my sister, the only person I can trust. As long as you promise me…”

The sudden heavy trust made me hesitate, but I nodded and accepted the ticking time bomb.

“I just won’t tell her.” I shrugged indifferently, “So what are you going to do?”

“You’re the only person I can trust right now, sister.” Her trust in me was diminished by this dismissive gesture, “Promise me first, and I’ll tell you what’s going on.”

“Is it related to your daily arguments with Shi… Auntie?”

She was silent, nodding slightly.

The primary task of advancing honesty and relationship was to have an emotional debt, or even to possess some secret of the other party.

Having gained Yu Zhouwan’s trust so easily, I wondered if she was lying again.

Perhaps people are willing to treat even a straw as a lifeline when they are emotionally vulnerable.

Yu Zhouwan took the initiative to beg me to lie and conceal things for her. Thinking about it, I felt that her shadowy partner—who only existed in the traces left on her body, for whom Yu Zhouwan argued with her mother at home, quarreled with Shi Yunya every day, and received a hurtful slap, her pretty face red and swollen—where was he? He had become invisible at this time, forcing Yu Zhouwan to beg me to lie and conceal things to meet him.

Probably an unreliable scoundrel, like Yu Hanyang, having a relationship with a minor and verbally instigating and deceiving her. As expected, mother and daughter had equally poor judgment of people.

Yu Zhouwan gave me a piece of fruit candy. I brushed my teeth and ate the bitter candy, feeling like a fool tricked into doing something bad.

While she was taking a shower, I replaced the rabbit pendant on her schoolbag with an identical one, except the new one had a children’s watch modified into a locator.

Since she trusted me so much, I would see what she was doing.

I stared at the locked bathroom door, the sound of rushing water covering the slight metallic clinking.

The 6:30 English listening simulation ended, and the evening self-study preparation bell rang. I still had several homework assignments to do.

“Lend me this.” I yanked Xu Lanlan’s workbook and stuffed it into my schoolbag.

“Remember not to copy everything, change a few answers.” The teacher on duty at the podium suddenly stood up. Xu Lanlan quickly stuffed the novel wrapped in the cover of her tutoring materials into the drawer, “I don’t know the last two questions. If you write them out, help me copy the answer to the first question.”

I clenched my schoolbag tightly and ran out as the bell rang.

The school’s curfew was useless to me. I easily got the secret door they used for ordering takeout from a classmate, and flipped over the railing.

No. 7 Middle School and the Linzhou Foreign Language School weren’t far apart. To avoid missing Yu Zhouwan, I took a taxi.

But Yu Zhouwan’s seat was empty. Yin Si’en still knew nothing.

Taking a gamble, I turned on the locator.

It was moving slowly, then suddenly accelerated, finally crossing from the city center to the southwest suburbs.

I asked the driver to drop me off at the gate of the vehicle management office in the suburbs. I wanted to ride a shared bicycle, but after thinking about it, I felt that the sound of a bicycle would be too conspicuous in the suburbs, so I chose to walk.

After the southwest suburbs of Linzhou were designated for demolition, less than a quarter of the old houses remained. The rent was almost half cheaper than in the city, and many people lived there, but they were very mixed. I walked past the middle-aged men on the roadside chatting with their chests exposed, feeling nauseous.

The messy parking and remodeled sheds provided cover for me, who was peeking at the locator.

I was trembling all the way, because I had never let my prey out of my sight. I was afraid of bumping into Yu Zhouwan holding the locator watch and questioning me, or accidentally meeting her eyes while looking around. This would not only deprive me of the opportunity to peek at her secrets, but more importantly, it would deprive me of Yu Zhouwan’s trust. I couldn’t please Shi Yunya or the unyielding Yu Hanyang. If I wanted to come up with a plan to rectify their family again, unless I was the female protagonist with a cheat code.

I had to admit, I was too foolish and reckless to be a qualified hunter.

Yu Zhouwan stopped in front of the iron gate of a two-story building, the faint light of her phone reflecting the anxious look on her face.

I squatted in the mossy corner, watching this play without a beginning or end from a distance.

People who went out for a walk around eight o’clock gradually returned. Yu Zhouwan circled several times in the alley, but never showed any intention of leaving.

I scratched the fresh mosquito bites on my legs, feeling puzzled, almost suspecting that I had been tricked by Yu Zhouwan.

Yu Zhouwan squatted down when she was tired of standing, her school uniform shirt on her back completely soaked.

It was almost ten o’clock when I heard another unfamiliar voice.

They talked through the door. The woman reluctantly stepped out of the yard. She had plastic curlers in her hair, a young face, at most in her early twenties, wearing a green plaid long nightgown, impatiently putting her hands on her hips, urging Yu Zhouwan to get to the point.

I wanted to move two steps forward to hear their conversation clearly, but if I moved even a little, the dazzling street lights would project my shadow onto the road.

“Get out!”

I was thinking about something and didn’t notice who shouted this broken voice.

But I soon found out. Yu Zhouwan grabbed the woman’s hand and wanted to say something, but was violently thrown away. She turned to go home, but didn’t expect Yu Zhouwan to follow her persistently, blocking her in the one-person-wide alley.

I had never seen Yu Zhouwan plead so embarrassingly to anyone. My collection had her back, her sleeping face, her various expressions, but none of her humble expressions at this time made me more excited and joyful.

The two walked deep into the alley, disappearing under the bright lights.

I held my breath, slowly squatted down and moved into the darkness. The gravel on the ground would make a harsh sound if touched even slightly. Fortunately, there was no gap between the concrete floor and the door, otherwise this move would be a huge risk.

But I couldn’t help it. I really wanted to know what happened next.

The only light source in the alley was the street lamp across the wall and the roadside trees.

“Yu Zhouwan, do you like being abused so much?” The woman said with a cold smile.

Yu Zhouwan, who had been eager to explain, suddenly fell silent. She lowered her head, the shadow falling on her face, and I couldn’t see her expression, which was a pity.

The woman suddenly grabbed Yu Zhouwan’s neck and pushed her hard against the wall.

Yu Zhouwan grabbed her wrist and tried to push her away. I gasped, almost covering my mouth to keep from shouting.

The woman’s curlers had completely fallen out, and she seemed possessed, completely unaware that she was holding a life in her hands. I could almost see the thin muscles and veins on her arms as she exerted force.

Yu Zhouwan showed a painful expression, on the verge of collapsing from suffocation. I swallowed my saliva, intending to rush out and save her. The woman suddenly loosened her fingers, allowing her a breath of air. But before she could recover, the woman suddenly exerted force, grabbing Yu Zhouwan’s collar with one hand and supporting her head with the other, and kissed her.