To Those Who Regretted After I Died - Chapter 32

“……”

Alec still hadn’t read Sophia’s letter.

“What am I supposed to do now…? Pathetic… I had an affair with my wife’s sister, fathered a child… But I don’t even know if that child is really mine… Knowing Emily, she’s probably slept with her fiancé as well…”

As he slumped his shoulders and supported his occasionally aching body, he noticed a piece of paper on the ground by his feet.

“Sophia…”

The paper he picked up was the finalized divorce certificate between him and Sophia.

“I… couldn’t do anything for you… When you said you’d go somewhere far away and we’d never meet again, I was confident I could find you… Emily would surely tell me to find you, I thought… I believed I could bring you back… But…”

His hand trembled as he crushed the paper in his grip.

“I realized everything after losing you… It’s not Emily I wanted by my side… I wanted you by my side… It took me until now to realize… You could call me ‘a terrible husband’… I don’t care… I just want to hear your voice…”

Alec let go of the divorce certificate, stood up from the sofa, and immediately fell to the floor as sharp pain shot through his legs.

Clatter! Thud!

“Ugh!”

Collapsing on the floor, Alec tried to crawl over to Sophia, who lay motionless on the bed, but his vision blurred, and he lost consciousness right there on the floor.

“……”

“Sir…”

“Husband… please wake up, you’ll catch a cold if you stay like that.”

“Ugh…”

When Alec came to, he found himself in his usual room. He had been dozing off at his desk. As he opened his eyes, he saw Sophia standing in front of him, dressed in her usual work attire, holding a stack of documents in both hands.

“Husband, you were having a nightmare. Are you alright?”

Hearing her familiar voice, Alec felt relieved. Was everything that happened just a dream? He let out a sigh.

“It’s you… I had a terrible dream…”

“A dream?”

“Yes… You…”

“What happened to me?”

Alec found himself looking into Sophia’s usual gaze, but for some reason, he didn’t find it unpleasant this time.

“No… It’s nothing. It’s not break time yet, right? Why don’t we go for a walk together?”

“Eh!? With me?”

“Yes.”

Alec took Sophia’s hand and invited her for a walk.

“Husband, I think you’re mistaking the person you should be inviting.”

“Huh?”

“You always invited Emily.”

“Th-that’s…”

“I’ve always waited… I kept waiting for the day when you would come to me instead of going to Emily… But even after I died, you continued to whisper sweet things to Emily and promised to marry her right in front of my eyes…”

“What!? D-died…”

Alec tried to let go of Sophia’s hand, but he couldn’t. His face turned pale as confusion took hold of him.

“I-I’m sorry… It was my fault… I regretted it after learning about Emily… After losing you, I realized how foolish I was… What am I supposed to do with my life from now on…”

“We should have never married from the start…”

“!!”

Hearing those words, Alec realized Sophia had seen through his heart. Tears streamed down his face.

“W-wait, that’s not… that’s not what I meant…”

“Even so, I couldn’t bring myself to leave your side…”

“Soph—”

Alec’s eyes widened as crimson blood started flowing from the hand he was gripping.

“Uwaaaahhhhh!!!”

With a jolt, Alec woke up, his body trembling.

“Ugh… ugh…”

Lying face down on the floor, tears fell from Alec’s eyes. The dream where he and Sophia worked together… That was the last time he would ever see her. Sophia never appeared in Alec’s dreams again after that.

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“What!? Lady Emily has a fiancé!?”

“Yes… I was surprised when I heard it as well…”

The doctor shared the news about Emily’s fiancé with the head maid.

“So that’s why Madam asked me to deliver that letter to Master… She mentioned it contained something about Lady Emily…”

“If only I had informed Master Alec of this sooner, Madam might have…”

The doctor clenched his fists, regretting that perhaps Sophia wouldn’t have had to die if they had acted differently.

“Madam’s resolve wouldn’t have changed either way…”

“……”

While the doctor and the head maid were talking away from Sophia’s room, one of the maids came rushing over to them.

“Um, excuse me, Head Maid… I heard a noise coming from Madam’s room… Master Alec is supposed to be inside, but I didn’t know if it was alright to enter…”

“A noise?!”

Remembering Alec’s current condition, the doctor rushed to Sophia’s room.

“Master Alec, it’s me!”

When the doctor entered, he was shocked to see Alec collapsed on the floor, trembling, and quickly rushed to his side.

“Master Alec!? Are you alright?”

“Ugh… Even after death… my wife… she still thought about me… And yet… I…”

“Master Alec… The things you did to Madam are unforgivable, but… until the very end, Madam continued to care for you… Please don’t forget that…”

“…Doctor… I’m sorry, but… please take me to my wife’s side…”

With the doctor’s support, Alec walked over to the bedside.

“Sophia…”

With a trembling hand, Alec gently touched the cold cheek of his deceased wife.

“I never imagined that would be our last conversation… As promised, I’ll return the curtains and carpets to how they were before… I won’t let go of the servants either… I’ll speak with Emily and her fiancé and make a decision… Once everything’s settled, I’ll report to you…”

After finishing his solemn speech, Alec turned to the doctor.

“Thank you… for touching my wife one last time… I no longer have the right to touch her… She… was yours, Doctor… You were her first…”

“Huh?”

The doctor’s eyes widened in confusion as Alec, hands clenched on the bed, continued.

“Um… Master Alec, what do you mean I was the first to touch Madam…?”

“Our lives as husband and wife were nothing but missed opportunities… Until now, I’ve never touched her… I let her depart from this world pure and unblemished…”

“Pure…?”

The doctor, realizing the implication of Alec’s words, widened his eyes in shock as he looked at the downcast Alec.

“Could it be… Even after marrying Madam, you two never…”

“……”

The doctor grabbed Alec’s arm but, holding back the urge to strike him, forced himself to stay calm… He couldn’t bear to hit Alec in front of Sophia.

“I never thought I would come to resent you after spending all these years by your side… You robbed Madam of her happiness as a woman.”

“……”

“Did you think I would be happy to know I was her first?”

“……”

Alec was speechless at the doctor’s words.

“You shouldn’t stay by Madam’s side tonight.”

“Huh!? But, it’s a tradition in the Palris family that the departed must be accompanied by their loved ones…”

“The fact that you of all people are bringing that up… Madam… No, Lady Sophia and Master Alec are no longer married. I will stay by Lady Sophia’s side. Please rest for tomorrow.”

“……”

The doctor let go of Alec’s arm and called for the head maid.

“Please take Master Alec back to his room. Call two of the male servants to assist him.”

“Understood…”

“I don’t need any help getting to my room…”

“Eh…”

The head maid hesitated, but Alec insisted no one follow him. After taking one last look at Sophia’s face, he staggered out of the room.

“Head Maid, please take care of Master Alec…”

“Y-yes…”

With the head maid following after Alec, the doctor remained in the room, gazing at Sophia’s still figure as tears fell from his eyes.

“Madam…”

Unable to say anything more, the doctor gently covered Sophia’s cold hands with his own, silently watching her peaceful face.