Transmigrated as a White Lotus Heroine, but I’m Pursuing the Cold Villain - Chapter 32

She looked up, and a tear slipped from Lin Qinglian’s eyelashes, landing on the back of her hand.

Warm and damp, yet fleeting, like the kiss they had shared.

As delicate and damp as a misty drizzle, it felt cool and wet against her skin.

Lin Qinglian’s voice trembled, “Do you… hate me that much?”

Rao Jinqing couldn’t fathom where she had drawn that conclusion. Hadn’t she been so obvious just moments ago? And now she suddenly understood?

Could it be because she had received the news of her successful bid?

She unconsciously looked up again, watching the endless stream of tears cascading from Lin Qinglian’s eyes.

For some reason, a sudden emptiness filled her heart, tinged with a sharp ache.

It reminded her of those days wandering the streets of England.

Clutching five pounds, she had walked through torrential rain and ordered a bowl of noodles.

The shop was supposedly run by Chinese immigrants, and Rao Jinqing sat down with anticipation, waiting for her meal.

But when the bowl arrived, it was overflowing with cilantro. She tried to explain to the waiter,

After Rao Jinqing rattled off her request, the server stared back with a blank expression, as if she were speaking gibberish.

Giving up on explaining, Rao Jinqing picked up her chopsticks and began to pick at the noodles.

The pungent aroma of cilantro filled her nostrils. The noodles were as pale as a corpse that had been dead for days, and she even detected a faint, corpse-like odor.

Unable to bring herself to eat, she set down her chopsticks. The rising steam gradually dissipated, revealing the corpse nestled amidst the floral decorations.

Her stomach growled with hunger.

Finally, she picked up her chopsticks and forced a cold bite into her mouth.

One bite was all it took. Tears instantly welled up, mingling with the rain still clinging to her face.

She almost compulsively shoved the noodles down her throat.

The sensation was unbearable. Her body’s reflexes, along with her rebellious stomach, threatened to reject the food she had just swallowed, but she stubbornly forced it down.

Her throat convulsed repeatedly as she swallowed each mouthful.

At that moment, she told herself: This is the last time. There will never be another time.

But now, as she watched the tears streaming down Lin Qinglian’s face, that feeling returned.

Unable to swallow, unable to spit it out.

She could only force herself to swallow it down.

Swallow the tears, or whatever else it was, and fill the missing piece of her heart with something else.

Finally, Rao Jinqing, her face cold, placed the paper in Lin Qinglian’s hand and guided her hand to touch her own cheek.

Rao Jinqing gazed at her with unprecedented focus. For a fleeting moment, her usually icy expression softened slightly. “I hope we can part amicably.”

The moment those words left her lips, something seemed to burst its banks. An indescribable terror and sorrow washed over her, drowning her completely.

She felt like she had been swept into an inescapable flood, helpless against the surging river that had breached its banks.

Then she clamped her mouth shut, refusing to speak further.

Lin Qinglian stared at her blankly.

Rao Jinqing closed her eyes, refusing to meet her gaze.

*

She believed she had already given Lin Qinglian enough face by agreeing to part amicably. If Lin Qinglian dared to exploit her lingering affection, acting innocent while causing trouble, she would have no choice but to abandon all pretense of politeness.

Lin Qinglian felt as if her heart had broken, leaving a gaping hole inside.

Bl00d seeped steadily from the wound.

Yet she remained oblivious, only vaguely aware of a discomfort in her chest. She could only stare at Rao Jinqing with bewildered eyes, as if her body were trying to manipulate the woman’s feelings through this pathetic display.

But Rao Jinqing remained unmoved, meeting her gaze with unwavering composure. Her eyes, calm and detached, met Lin Qinglian’s tear-blurred ones. “Parking isn’t allowed here,” she stated flatly.

Lin Qinglian’s tears had stopped, but she persisted, “Why not?”

Rao Jinqing’s tone was indifferent, barely sparing her a glance. “There’s no reason.”

Now everything was gone: the System, the Target—Lin Qinglian suddenly didn’t know what expression to wear.

She could only stare at Rao Jinqing with her usual blank look.

This expression was usually due to the buzzing in her head, but now she instinctively resorted to childish pleading: “You were never even nice to me.”

The words seemed to shock President Rao into lifting her perpetually lowered eyelids.

She gave Lin Qinglian a brief, disdainful glance.

The buzzing in her head vanished with that single glance, replaced by a sudden clarity.

Perhaps due to her underdeveloped emotional perception, Lin Qinglian had always been carefree and oblivious. No matter how others poured out their emotions to her, or how dire her own circumstances became, she rarely felt anything deeply.

The worst consequence of this was merely a slightly low emotional intelligence and occasional tactless remarks. But in Madam Chen’s eyes, this was a stick capable of stirring up a storm.

Despite Madam Chen’s tireless efforts, Lin Qinglian remained unchanged, nearly driving her to despair. Madam Chen would often hug the bewildered Lin Qinglian, sighing deeply.

Though Lin Qinglian couldn’t empathize, she never rejected these sighs.

But she had other things to do, and she wasn’t a cold-blooded creature. Madam Chen often sat beside her, wiping away tears.

So, she told herself, act sad in sad situations.

Now, she crudely labeled her current mood as “sadness,” but after a moment, she realized it was more like “disappointment.”

No, this was more like being utterly lost and dejected.

Rao Jinqing watched Lin Qinglian climb out of the car, her head bowed and her features drooping. Even as she stepped out, Lin Qinglian remembered to murmur a tearful “thank you,” her eyes still red.

Through the dark privacy film, Rao Jinqing could see that Lin Qinglian’s cheeks would be flushed crimson if the window were down.

Around her eyes, Rao Jinqing noticed a misty sheen—tears.

Lin Qinglian always gave off an impression of being delicate and prone to tears, but this was the first time Rao Jinqing had ever seen her cry.

Or rather, the first time she had seen her cry so genuinely.

Rao Jinqing wasn’t naive. She had survived long enough in this cutthroat society, among these predatory people, to scrutinize every word and gesture. She would dissect every nuance, meticulously analyzing causes, consequences, and variables, until she understood everything clearly before settling her mind.

Lin Qinglian’s usual petty tricks required no thought from Rao Jinqing; she could see through them instantly. Normally, she dismissed them as harmless teasing.

But now…

Rao Jinqing glanced at Lin Qinglian standing outside the window, still gazing at her. Tears trembled in Lin Qinglian’s eyes, threatening to spill, giving her a pitiful, almost desperate look—as if she wouldn’t give up until Rao Jinqing changed her mind.

Rao Jinqing regarded Lin Qinglian with calm detachment, her gaze steady and unwavering.

She prided herself on her emotional composure. Even when her parents died, she hadn’t shed a single tear. Perhaps she had exhausted her tears during her solitary years studying in Paris.

Believing her tears long spent, Rao Jinqing stared out the window with what she considered a heart of stone.

She even found herself wondering if the driver, who showed no sign of leaving, was staying behind to keep Lin Qinglian company.

Just then, the car window began to roll down. Caught off guard, Rao Jinqing initially failed to notice the movement. By the time she realized what was happening, it was too late.

Fumbling with the window would have been undignified, an act she refused to stoop to.

So, while mentally planning to give the driver a vacation, she maintained her signature icy demeanor and slowly waited for the window to lower.

By the time the window had lowered enough, she had already rehearsed her words in her mind. But before she could speak, Lin Qinglian’s tears overwhelmed her carefully crafted composure, shattering it into pieces.

As she watched Lin Qinglian’s tears threaten to drown her, Rao Jinqing’s hand trembled slightly.

It was a habit formed over many days. She subconsciously raised her hand again, realizing her self-image was somewhat skewed. Otherwise, she would be cold-blooded now, not moved to emotion.

No, this isn’t right.

President Rao hastily rolled up the window and ordered the driver to leave.

Lin Qinglian watched with anticipation as the window lowered, then watched it rise again, leaving her standing under the midday sun, inhaling car exhaust.

Her feet felt like they were floating, and she drifted home like a wandering spirit, arriving just as her neighbor across the hall was about to leave.

The neighbor turned after closing her door and nearly jumped at the sight of Lin Qinglian’s unsteady gait and vacant eyes, momentarily thinking she’d seen a ghost in broad daylight.

She knew the young woman lived alone and was always polite and cheerful, a picture of well-behaved charm. The neighbor had always been fond of her.

Seeing her in such a state, she couldn’t help but ask, “Xiao Lin, what’s wrong? Why do you look so upset?”

Lin Qinglian snapped out of her daze, her nose nearly touching the doorframe. Only then did she realize she had arrived home.

She had no memory of the journey.

She turned to look at the speaker, her gaze shifting between the woman and Rao Jinqing.

Rao Jinqing always smiled when talking to her, but she was usually serious with others. Yet, in the car earlier, that seriousness had been directed at her too.

Suddenly, Lin Qinglian’s mind cleared. She stared at the concerned face before her, struggling to recall who it was. After a moment, she realized it was her neighbor from across the hall.

A woman in her sixties, with half-gray hair, who always smiled warmly at her like a kindly old lady.

Lin Qinglian forced a smile. “It’s nothing, just a little tired.”

“Look at you,” the neighbor scolded gently. “If you don’t feel like smiling, don’t force it. That smile is even worse than none at all.”

Lin Qinglian silently accepted the criticism, her mind still adrift, as if something were suspended in mid-air, refusing to settle.

The neighbor scrutinized her carefully, observing her vacant, apathetic expression—the kind that seemed to invite both scolding and pity. Based on this, she drew her conclusion.

“Did you have a breakup, dear?”

Lin Qinglian’s usually distant gaze suddenly focused, as if her neighbor’s words had finally registered.

The neighbor, seeing her reaction, knew she had guessed right. “You’re still young! You can find anyone you want. It’s just a heartbreak, don’t be sad. Just find someone better next time.”

Lin Qinglian’s heart, which had been floating like a kite all day, suddenly grounded itself.

After drifting aimlessly through the air all day, the kite’s string had finally been reeled in.