Two outcasts who look down on each other share an innocent first kiss. - Chapter 14

The last night of the mountain retreat quietly passed.

From the dark forest, the peaceful chorus of insects echoed faintly.

Lying on the top bunk, I closed my eyes, listening to the sounds of the night.

For me, school events were always the same: dread when they began, and exhaustion by the time they ended. Every aspect—group activities, role assignments, eating together, bathing with others—was a trial. Each part felt like the world was taking a jab at my self-worth.

But this time—

Something that should’ve been hopeless actually became a little less so, thanks to this trip.

And just that small shift made me feel more refreshed than I ever had before.

Even in this completely uncomfortable environment, tonight, I felt like I could actually sleep well.

That’s what I was thinking, as I waited for sleep to come in the dark—

When it happened.

From beneath me—under my pillow, from the bottom bunk—I heard the creak of the bed frame.

It wasn’t the sound of someone rolling over.

It was clearly the rustle of someone pushing aside their blanket, sitting up, and starting to climb out of bed.

The one sleeping below me was Kurosaki.

What’s up? Bathroom?

That was the first natural thought that came to mind, but Kurosaki walked right past the bathroom and headed toward the bungalow door.

At this hour? Where was he going?

Even though I instinctively asked myself that, deep down, I already kind of knew the answer.

I heard the door open, then shut softly.

A few seconds later, a whisper floated from the other bunk bed on the opposite wall.

“(…Did he go?)”
“(He’s gone.)”
“(Alright, alright! Wake up, Aoba!)”
“(Are we seriously spying on them…?)”
“(Obviously, dude!)”

Peeking over, I saw Akamatsu on the upper bunk, butt in the air as he climbed down the ladder.

“(Hurry up! We’ll lose them!)”
“(Sheesh… I’m not as much of a creep as you, you know.)”
“(It’s a secret midnight meeting with Shirakawa-san, man! You can’t not watch that!)”

The vague suspicion I had turned into certainty.

…Kurosaki had gone to meet Shirakawa-san.

It made sense. Lights out was the only time they’d be able to meet alone.

I heard Aoba crawl out from the lower bunk.

“(Keep it down, would you? You’ll wake up Hashiyama.)”
“(Oh, right. Hey, maybe we should just invite him too?)”
“(Let him sleep. Besides, he’s not really part of this. Neither are we, technically.)”
“(Fair point.)”

And with that, the two of them tiptoed after Kurosaki and slipped out of the bungalow.

Left alone in the pitch-black room, I opened my eyes.

The prettiest girl in our class, sneaking out for a secret rendezvous.

And a couple of dumb friends sneaking out to spy on them.

Meanwhile, while Sumino and I were fumbling over every little thing, Kurosaki and the others were off having a flashy, cinematic kind of youth.

Did I… envy that?

I asked myself, but couldn’t quite pin down my emotions.

Sure, it sounded nice. I mean, living out some dramatic, romantic high school dream sounds fun.

But if I imagined myself in that situation…

I probably couldn’t handle it.

I’d get swept away and drown in it, becoming nothing but sea foam.

It’s fun to fantasize.

But if that fantasy became real—and if messing it up had real consequences—it’d suddenly feel crushing.

Part of me felt just a little envious. Just a little lonely.

But even so, I felt like this solitary darkness… suited me.

This was where I belonged.

So I’d go to sleep.

And tomorrow, I’d pretend I knew nothing, heard nothing, and go home with a blank expression.

That’s what’s fitting for me.

That’s what’s just right for me.

…Though honestly?

I had a feeling—just a hunch—that I wouldn’t be able to sleep until Akamatsu and the others came stumbling back into the room.

Bzzzt.

My phone, left beside my pillow, gave a short vibration.

I opened my eyes, eyelids heavy.

I turned my head and saw the notification light blinking.

I stared at it for about ten, maybe thirty seconds, before finally pulling my hand from under the blanket to pick it up.

A message.

From Sumino.

[Shirakawa-san just left the room.]

A short report. Unprompted.

Still, I had a vague sense of what she wanted me to know. I typed out a reply.

[Kurosaki left too. And the other two followed.]
[To spy on them?]
[Looks like it.]
[Same here. I’m the only one left in my room now.]

Even here, we’re still in sync.

Staring at the faint glow of my phone in the darkness, I gave a small smile.

[Well yeah, if you knew, you’d wanna see it, right?]
[You’re not going?]
[Has nothing to do with me. If I go, I’d literally just be a creep.]
[True.]
[Still, it’s a little lonely.]

She didn’t reply right away.

[Didn’t think you’d say something like that.]
[Say what?]
[Something like… weakness. I didn’t think you’d admit that.]
[…Yeah, true.]
[You always had that “seen-it-all” vibe.]

Reading that, I realized something for the first time.

I’d never told anyone I felt lonely before.

Being alone was normal. It wasn’t painful. I’d even convinced myself I didn’t feel loneliness at all.

And yet, now I’d just said it—to someone else.

[It just… slipped out.]
[Huh?]
[Maybe I realized there’s no point trying to look cool around you.]

Another pause.

[Wait, were you trying to look cool before? Lol.]
[Men are creatures that must look cool.]
[Gross. You know it’s the Reiwa era, right?]
[Come to think of it, I’ve never seen you try to act cute.]
[Shut up. I don’t know how to act cute, okay?]

I buried my cheek in my pillow and let out a small laugh.

[That’s better.]
[Why?]
[You always call me gross, but if someone said it to you, you’d actually get really hurt.]
[Hey! Don’t make me sound like I’ve got paper-thin feelings.]
[So I should start teasing you for real now?]
[Please don’t.]

Another pause.

[Actually, be a little nicer to me.]
[I am nicer to you than I am to my sister.]
[Not enough. Treat me like you treat your favorite girl V-Tuber.]
[Mhm, mhm.]
[Shut up.]
[You totally set me up for that.]
[Yeah, and now that you said it, it’s way more annoying than I imagined.]

It wasn’t a particularly clever or meaningful conversation.

Just casual back-and-forth with no point.

But talking to Sumino like this, in the dark on the upper bunk of a near-empty bungalow on the last night of our school trip… it felt oddly pleasant.

I had a feeling Sumino was lying in her own bed, in a different bungalow, feeling exactly the same way.

Knowing that… made it feel like we’d just gotten a tiny win over the world we never quite fit into.

[You think they’re confessing right now?]

She broke the silence with that.

[Who to who?]
[Shirakawa-san to Kurosaki.]
[So she’s the one making the move?]
[Dunno. Just sounds that way from the stuff I’ve heard. What about Kurosaki?]
[Hmm… he doesn’t really seem like the type who gets all lovey-dovey.]
[Right?]
[But still, meeting up in the dead of night? He’s clearly not not interested.]
[C’mon, it’s Shirakawa-san. Even I’d say yes if she confessed to me.]
[Not that she would.]
[It’s called hypothetical, you jerk. Have you ever seen Shirakawa-san’s n1pples?]
[What kind of power move is that?!]

After about a minute of silence, she messaged:

[We’re kinda pathetic, huh? Whispering about other people’s love lives like this.]

[True. We used to look down on people who got excited about stuff like this.]

[Shirakawa-san’s amazing, though. She’s so cute, and yet she still takes initiative…]

Yeah, that’s true… Someone like her could probably just sit around and wait for confessions to come rolling in.

[Hey, can I… try something bold?]

Something bold? I started typing back, but before I could send it, the screen changed.

Incoming call—from Sumino.

A call?

We were just messaging…

Regardless, I couldn’t ignore it.

I tapped “Accept.”

The screen shifted again—and then—

Sumino’s face appeared.

“…Yo.”

Her face, softly lit, appeared a little embarrassed as she stuck her lips out in a small pout. Judging by the bits of fabric visible around her, she was wrapped up in a blanket.

Wait—video call!?

I hadn’t realized from the call screen. I’d never gotten a video call before…

“Wh—why?”

That’s all I managed to squeak out. Sumino blushed faintly and said,

“It’s a little adventure… secret nighttime video call.”

“Well, yeah, I guess…”

“Kind of exciting, right?”

“…Yeah. I get that.”

It was more nerve-racking than exciting, honestly.

Sumino was wearing white pajamas. Her collarbone peeked out from the neckline, softly illuminated by the screen’s glow.

And below that…

The subtle shape beneath the fabric made me flash back to what I’d accidentally seen on moving day, and my brain scrambled for somewhere to put all these feelings.

Her face, this close, under the covers. Her collarbone, her body—things I usually couldn’t see—suddenly all right there…

It almost felt like we were in bed together.

It was… a lot. Too much.

My mind, which had calmed down earlier, now exploded into chaos.

“…This is kinda funny,” she murmured.

“Huh?”

“Seeing your face under the covers. It’s just funny.”

“I don’t get it…”

“And you’re totally freaking out.”

“Gee, thanks.”

She giggled quietly, and my pulse jumped again.

Something about her was different.

Softer. More feminine.

Not at all like when we walked to school together, or ate lunch side by side.

“Uh… mind if I put in my earbuds? I brought them.”

“Go ahead. I’ve already got mine in.”

I set my phone down on the blanket, scrambled down the ladder, grabbed my wireless earbuds from my bag near the wall, and rushed back up.

After popping them in, I dove back under the covers.

“All right, I’m good.”

“You can hear me?”

“Yeah.”

“Fufu.”

It felt like she just blew into my ear.

“Hey—what was that?!”

“ASMR.”

“You never do this kind of stuff.”

“Well, it’s fun when I can see your face.”

She smirked through the screen.

Damn it… she’s messing with me because she knows I’m not used to this.

But still… under this lighting, even her usual face looked—

Wait.

I stared at her face on the screen.

She noticed and, flustered, pulled back a little.

“W-what?”

“Sumino… did you do something?”

“Huh? Like what—oh!”

She quickly pressed a hand to her forehead.

Or rather—more like she was trying to cover her eyebrows.

That motion made me realize what had felt “off” about her appearance.

“Oh… your eyebrows…”

When I said it aloud, she glanced away, clearly embarrassed.

“I had Midoriya-san… help me a little, earlier.”

“Oh… I see.”

I’d sensed something was different.

I’d chalked it up to the lighting, or the way her face was lit by the glow of her phone under the covers…

“They say changing your eyebrows changes your whole look… I guess it’s true.”

“You think… I look different?”

“Yeah… You look more polished. A bit more put together.”

Just for a second—

For one moment, I almost said You look cuter.

But that felt way too cringe, and honestly, “polished” felt closer to what I really meant.

“Hmph…”

Still averting her eyes, Sumino slowly lowered her hand and let her newly-shaped brows show.

Now that I was really looking, just that one change made her look like someone who actually took care of herself.

I reached up and brushed my own eyebrows with my fingertip.

“…Wanna try it too?” she asked, hesitantly.

I tilted my head, smiling vaguely.

“Hmm… I don’t know. I’m not sure I could keep it up.”

“Just try it once. See how it goes.”

“But what if I mess it up horribly? That kind of thing affects how people see you.”

I’d thought about learning that kind of basic grooming before.

But if I screwed it up, and it made me look weird? I’d be horrified.

It’s not like your eyebrows grow back in a day.

“I’ll teach you what I learned. As much as I can.”

“You really want me to glow up that badly?”

“It’s not like that…”

She suddenly pouted, looking kind of sulky, and mumbled in a tiny voice:

“…I just… kinda wanna see what you’d look like if you did get cooler…”

“…Huh?”

“It’s nothing!”

That “Huh?” wasn’t I didn’t hear you—it was I totally heard you, now explain in detail please.

I definitely heard what she said.

She wanted to see what I’d look like if I became cooler.

Even if it was just curiosity… still…

But then why’d she take it back?

…What?

As my brain spiraled, her screen tilted and rotated. I could hear the rustling of fabric—she was shifting positions.

Now, her cheek was pressed against a pillow, and her face filled the screen again.

Maybe her arm had gotten tired from propping herself up.

But now… it really felt like we were lying next to each other.

“But you know…”

Her hair fell over one eye, trailing down her nose. She didn’t move it away.

“…I think I’d actually hate it if you got too polished.”

“It’d be weird, y’know? If you suddenly started dressing cool. It’d creep me out… maybe even scare me a little.”

“…It’s not like I’d suddenly change just from doing one small thing…”

“You don’t know that. What if you start wearing leather jackets or something?”

What the heck is her image of a “cool guy,” anyway?

“I think I want you to stay the way you are.”

Her voice—soft, almost a whisper near my ear—completely wrecked any sense of calm I had.

Still, I tried to play it cool.

“…‘The way I am’?”

“Dorky, plain, kinda childish… always dressed in black…”

“That’s just the color of my clothes.”

“…Basically, the same as me.”

Her voice was gentle.

So different from her usual prickly tone—this was a voice that let its guard down.

Then she let out a small laugh.

“It’s comforting, you know? Like, ‘Oh, at least I’m doing better than this guy.’”

“…That’s kind of mean.”

“Shut up.”

There were no walls between us here.

No shields raised against the world to keep us safe.

Because we were the same.

Each of us saw the other as slightly more pathetic.

And that’s why—no matter how much we tried to hide ourselves—it didn’t matter.

There were no awkward silences.

No nervous stammering.

And sure, we might still annoy each other by being clueless sometimes—

But we got it.

We understood each other.

All our flaws, all our weird habits—when it was just the two of us, they didn’t matter at all.

In the darkness, lit only by the soft glow of our phones like candlelight, in a room with no one else—

We whispered things no one else would ever hear.

No one would peek in.

No one in class would spread rumors.

This wasn’t some sparkling youth romance or whatever.

This was our world.

Ours alone.

“Hey… Hashiyama. Hashiyama.”

Someone shook my shoulder, gently calling my name. I opened my eyes a little.

Peering over the edge of the bed was Kurosaki’s face, looming like a colossal titan.

“…Huh…?”

“Quiet. We’ve still got a bit before wake-up. The other two are still asleep.”

Now that I looked, the room was bright.

I must’ve fallen asleep… The last thing I remembered was—right, with Sumino…

“You should probably put that away.”

Kurosaki pointed to my hand.

In that instant, any trace of drowsiness vanished. Cold sweat pricked my skin.

Because I was still holding my phone.

I fell asleep mid-call…!

I think I vaguely remember hearing Sumino’s breathing… or maybe not?

The call had ended somehow, but my phone screen still showed: Call with Sumino Mikage – 1 hour 10 minutes.

And Kurosaki had seen it. Every last detail.

“If the other two see it, it’ll get messy. Just tuck it away quickly.”

He said it again, then climbed back down the ladder.

I hastily shut off my screen, took out my earbuds, stuffed them in the case, and peeked over the edge of the bed.

“Ku-Kurosaki-kun… why…?”

I couldn’t quite say why did you help me? with my morning voice.

But sitting on the lower bunk, Kurosaki glanced up at me and said:

“I wanted to see you freak out.”

“…What?”

He smirked slightly at my confusion.

“Sometimes, it’s fun being the one doing the teasing.”

Then he turned to his backpack and started rustling around in it.

I didn’t really get it… but at least it didn’t seem like he was going to blab to anyone.

I pulled my head back from the edge, grabbed my phone, and opened the call history.

Sumino Mikage.

Staring at her name…

Just for a second…

…I kind of wish I’d seen her sleeping face.