Two outcasts who look down on each other share an innocent first kiss. - Chapter 17

“Ah… nn… ah…”

Sumino let out a strained breath, sounding slightly pained.

“Nnngh…! Nn, ngh! D-Don’t get… cocky—!”

Unable to hold it in any longer, she gave a small, stifled scream.

“AAARGH!! Damn it, damn it, damn it!! Die, die, die!!”

Instead of pounding the table, she started smacking my shoulder repeatedly from the side.

I leaned away to dodge her flurry of punches, sneaking a side glance at her flushed, red face.

“You always get so worked up. That’s the worst thing you can do against a zoning character.”

“Shut up! I’m pissed because it’s annoying! Don’t talk down to me!”

“Then why don’t you shut me up with skill? Come on, bring it.”

“DAAARGH!! Stop crouching at the edge!!”

Whatever awkward atmosphere there had been earlier was completely blown away the moment we started playing the fighting game. The mood in the room now felt more like a sketchy back alley than anything else.

That said, Sumino’s occasional moans sounded a bit too suggestive, only to be followed by the most vulgar curses imaginable. Honestly, it made it hard for me to focus.

Still, I felt a bit relieved.

I’d been afraid that, in the end, boys and girls couldn’t stay just friends, and that we’d never be able to go back to the casual relationship we used to have.

The thing is, there are moments when I’m hyper-aware of her as a girl. But if things can stay like this, maybe I can learn to live with that awareness and still keep going.

I mean… it’s not like we have to stay just friends.

We could start dating, maybe.

But maybe I’m just too immature. Right now, I can’t imagine that kind of future as something real.

And besides, Sumino would probably just say something like, “Dating you? Gross, not a chance.”

Just having someone to play games with feels like a small miracle.

Wanting more than that would just be greedy…

“Ughhh!”

Just as I thought that, Sumino let out a dramatic groan and threw her controller before collapsing backwards.

The hem of her shirt flipped up slightly, revealing a bit of her stomach.

I caught a glimpse of it before quickly forcing the image out of my head.

“Taking a break?”

“Intermission!”

Same thing, really.

I paused the match and switched over to training mode to practice some combos. Just killing time, like spinning a pen or something.

Sumino rolled over and looked up at the monitor near her feet.

“…Do you seriously just do this repetitive stuff the whole time?”

“That’s what fighting games are all about.”

“I can’t do it… My instincts crave battle…”

“I don’t mean to be rude, but… you’re not really suited for this, huh.”

She probably just isn’t the type who can sit down and slowly build a foundation.

She wants results immediately. Pretty typical for our generation, I guess.

“Hey, do you watch movies on double speed?”

“Nope. People say watching a two-hour movie in an hour saves time, but if you don’t watch it, that’s zero minutes. Isn’t that better?”

“I mean, I get what you’re saying…”

Basically, if it’s such a pain that you need to double the speed, you might as well skip it altogether.

“That’s not what I meant, though.”

“Then what?”

“I just think… blindly rebelling against stuff that’s generally recommended usually ends up hurting you.”

“…What are you trying to say? Are you coming for me right now?”

“You strike me as that kind of person. Like, I bet you’ve never watched Oshi no Ko just out of spite.”

“Urgh…”

Got her.

My mental profile of her went a bit further: she resents mainstream stuff but doesn’t have the drive to dig up hidden gems herself. But I kept that part to myself.

“I’m not saying you have to change, but I tend to look up beginner tutorials and follow them pretty closely, so if you want to keep up with your brute-force match style, it’s gonna take some serious effort.”

“Shut it. Don’t hit me with logic.”

“What else am I supposed to say, then…?”

“If only there were a way to get stronger without all this practice…”

“Just play Honda.”

“Absolutely not!!”

She refuses to put in the effort but still wants to pick and choose.

If she were a streamer, chat would tear her apart.

But honestly, I didn’t dislike that part of her personality.

It made her feel… approachable. Or maybe I just felt superior.

In her, I saw a reflection of myself.

Sometimes that made me anxious.

Sometimes, it made me feel at ease.

And sometimes… it gave me courage.

That’s why, right now—because she’s here—I can honestly say this moment matters to me.

“Damn it… is this the limit of self-teaching…?”

“Would it make you mad if I said this doesn’t even count as self-teaching, since you’re not actually learning anything?”

“Die.”

She punched me in the side.

It threw me off and I messed up the combo.

Sumino wasn’t done, either. She kept poking my ribs and tracing her finger along the sole of my crossed foot.

Her pokes weren’t strong enough to hurt, but they were plenty distracting. My success rate for combos dropped to less than half.

Still, I stubbornly kept practicing—until she got even more persistent and I finally gave up, setting the controller down.

“Hey, cut it out.”

“Mmm~?”

Sumino lay on her side, resting her head on her folded arm like a pillow, giving me a cheeky, blank-faced look as her eyes settled somewhere around my waist.

Her innocent expression drained some of my irritation.

“Don’t interrupt.”

“Watching someone else practice combos is boring.”

“You’re the one who said you needed a break…”

“Then treat me better. I’m a guest, you know.”

“You entitled brat…”

I leaned back on my hands, shifting into a posture that said “fine, I’ll humor you,” and Sumino’s eyes followed my wrist.

A small ear peeked out from under the hair that fell down her jawline. I found myself staring at her delicate earlobe.

Even though we’d become so comfortable with each other, it was still hard to look her straight in the face.

That’s just how it is. I’ll probably have a hard time in job interviews someday—but I’ll deal with that when the time comes.

“…What do normal high schoolers even do when they hang out every day?”

Sumino’s quiet question made me smile wryly.

“You make it sound like we’re not normal.”

“Because I’m not. I’m a misfit.”

“Were you like this back in middle school?”

“Not really… I mean, I did write lyrics in my notebook or whatever.”

“So you were doing the classic stuff.”

“Shut up. I bet you did something like that too.”

“Who knows… I did get really into some pretty gruesome manga, though.”

“See? Classic.”

“Doesn’t count for much, though.”

We might’ve been able to laugh it off if we’d gone full edge-lord like the kind you see online—wearing eyepatches or wrapping our arms in bandages before showing up at school. But the truth was, we hadn’t even reached that level.

“I still can’t believe it… There are actually people who didn’t go through a phase like that…”

“Maybe they didn’t show it, but they were going through something too. Just not in ways you could see.”

“You mean like the baseball team? Or the soccer guys?”

“What do you think those teams are, exactly?”

“C’mon, there’s no way those guys have the kind of self-awareness to spiral like that.”

“…Wow. Harsh.”

“They’re perfectly happy just yelling across the classroom. They don’t need to act all deep or edgy to feel big about themselves. I mean—I don’t really know, but still.”

“You say ‘I don’t really know,’ like that makes it okay to throw out whatever stereotype you want.”

“They direct the same curiosity we put into song lyrics and manga toward more outgoing stuff—like meeting new people, going new places, trying out love… Honestly, I’m kind of jealous.”

Sumino’s voice carried a quiet honesty—free of bitterness or cynicism. Her words caught me off guard.

“No point pretending in front of you, so I’ll just say it… Don’t you kind of admire them? The kids who make friend groups right at the start of a new term, who can genuinely enjoy school events. When I see that, I can’t help thinking… I wish I could be like that too.”

“…Yeah.”

I understood exactly what she meant.

Every time an event like that came up, people like us got a painful reminder of our own flaws.

We were made painfully aware that we were different—less than most others.

Sometimes, it felt like school itself existed just to show us that.

Wanting to be normal… Of course I’ve felt that way before.

“But even if I wanted to change, I didn’t have the guts to do a full-on high school debut. And honestly, just staying in my room playing games or watching streams was way more fun… But then, when a streamer or VTuber who acts all shy and socially awkward starts talking about their real-life friends, I start feeling… left behind. Like maybe I’m the only one who really doesn’t have anyone.”

“I get it… I really do.”

“Even the people who say they’re shy or socially awkward still have four or five friends, usually. Even the quietest, most invisible kids manage to get a boyfriend or girlfriend at least once before graduating college… So then what the hell am I? If I can’t do any of that, am I some kind of glitch? It’s… I don’t know if it’s sad or scary, but it’s something.”

“Yeah…”

That kind of feeling—people with normal friendships will never understand it.

People who can naturally connect with others… they’ll never get it.

Only people like us can really, truly relate.

“We’re probably lucky, though. It just so happened that there was someone like me in the same class. And it just so happened you moved in next door.”

“…I still think it’s a miracle. Even now.”

“Even so, we probably can’t ever be ‘normal.’ Just two social misfits, staring at the people who can live normal lives with envy…”

Sumino trailed off, like she’d run out of energy.

Maybe she realized that the more she said, the gloomier it all sounded.

But to me, it felt like something important—like we were affirming why we were even together in the first place.

A necessary confirmation, somehow.

“…Hey.”

“Hm?”

After a pause, Sumino spoke again.

I gave her a small nod in response.

She shifted her position, rolling onto her back, and stared up at the ceiling.

“Do you know the average age for a first kiss?”

“…What?”

“They say it’s around seventeen or eighteen. Kind of higher than I expected. I thought most people got it over with back in middle school.”

“…Who even did that research? If it’s true, maybe we’re the ones skewing the numbers upward. You know, people always say averages can’t be trusted.”

“Fair point.”

Sumino let out a soft chuckle in her throat.

Then, as casually as anything, she said—

“Wanna bring it down a bit?”

It took me a second to register what she meant.

“…Huh?”

“Lower it.”

“Lower what?”

“The age we had our first kiss.”

She glanced over at me from the ceiling, just barely shifting her eyes in my direction.

Her ears were faintly red.

And with those soft pink lips of hers, Sumino said—

“If we did it now… while we’re still in our first year… wouldn’t that be kinda impressive?”