Two outcasts who look down on each other share an innocent first kiss. - Chapter 8

“Time… is moving too fast…”

I muttered, gazing up at the sky from the cramped space behind the bike racks.

Sitting next to me, Hayama tore open a bag of curry bread and asked,

“What’s up with you all of a sudden?”

“I’m just in shock that May is already halfway over…”

“You sound like some overworked office worker on the internet.”

With that, Hayama took a big bite of his curry bread. Apparently, his mom hadn’t packed him a lunch today.

I popped a piece of tamagoyaki into my mouth, chewing slowly.

“I mean, we’re first-year high school students, right? New school, new people, new experiences… Isn’t this supposed to be peak youth? Shouldn’t there be all sorts of exciting events happening one after another?”

“Well, most of the others have already picked their clubs and seem busy with that.”

“And yet, here I am, hiding in the corner, just chatting with you… And somehow, two whole weeks have already passed like this.”

If I had to sum it up, the biggest event so far was Hayama moving in next door.

I mean, that’s actually a pretty big deal in the grand scheme of things.

But, you know, out of sight, out of mind. Once you get used to it, it stops feeling significant.

If anything, it seems like my mom is enjoying this “event” more than I am, since she’s become fast friends with Hayama’s mother.

“Am I really a high school girl…? Is this really what a JK is supposed to look like…?”

“You’re putting way too much stock into the high school girl aesthetic. You’re not some middle school boy or middle-aged man.”

“Doesn’t it bother you at all? The way these days just pass by, totally uneventful?”

“Nah, I think it’s fine the way it is. For people like us, even things like P.E. class and presentation assignments feel like monumental challenges. We’re already juggling enough as it is.”

…Fair point.

For people like us, who trip over every little thing in daily life, a whirlwind of dramatic high school experiences would just be way too much to handle.

And yet…

I looked beyond the tin roof of the bike racks, staring at the school building.

“You know… doesn’t it feel like we’ve been left behind by the world?”

Silence hung in the air.

The sound of the wind filled my ears.

My cheeks gradually grew warm.

Then, Hayama scoffed lightly, as if lamenting the state of the world.

“—Left behind by the world, huh…”

“Don’t humor me!!”

Whipping my head around, my face surely bright red, I smacked Hayama hard on the shoulder.

“Ow, ow! You’re the one who started it!”

“Shut up…! Forget it, forget it—!”

The inner poet I thought I had sealed away in middle school… The seal had been too weak…!

The high school life I had secretly hoped for wasn’t like this at all.

But… if I’m being honest, the version I had expected was probably even more boring.

…Is it because Hayama is here?

Well, they say even dead trees add to the scenery…

That aside, I feel like I’ve been using a lot of proverbs lately. Maybe I’m actually kind of smart?

“Alright, I’m heading to club activities.”

“Okay. I’ll DM you later.”

Slipping my backpack over my shoulders, I left the classroom a little after my classmates, who were on their way to club activities.

Poor souls, stuck at school even longer… Meanwhile, I, a proud member of the Go-Home Club, could head straight home and play games. Ah, the sweet taste of superiority.

Hayama was still in the classroom, putting away his textbooks.

The odds of us going home together were about 50/50.

But even when we did leave at the same time, it was more of a coincidence—like bumping into each other at the station—rather than something intentional. We never actually said, “Let’s go home together,” and we certainly never arranged to meet up.

I mean, there’s no real reason to. No need to go out of our way to walk together.

Even when we’re together, we only chat sporadically. We could do that just as easily online after getting home.

…Besides, walking home together every day is something couples do.

I’m not afraid of going home alone or anything, so I just head back whenever I feel like it.

And so, I left school, entered the station, got on the train, and went home.

Today was one of those days where I didn’t run into Hayama.

“I’m home…”

I called out softly in the living room, but no one was there.

Mom works part-time, so it’s not unusual for her to be out at this hour.

I climbed the stairs and entered my room.

Dropping my backpack in its usual spot by the wall, I peeled off my uniform in one fluid motion.

Kicking my skirt off with my heel, I flung it behind me and, still in my underwear, rummaged through my dresser. I grabbed the first thing on top—some random T-shirt with nonsense English on it and a pair of worn-out sweatpants. That would do for today’s loungewear.

“Phew…”

After getting dressed, I flopped onto my bed.

Mom would definitely scold me if I left my uniform lying around, but getting up now was too much effort. I’d deal with it later.

Grabbing my phone from where I had set it on the bed before changing, I opened up SNS.

I couldn’t help but check what had been going on online while I was stuck at school… Ugh, I’m such an addict.

After scrolling through my timeline, I moved on to a video site. My recommendations were filled with clips from last night’s gaming streams.

One of them was a fighting game highlight reel. I tapped on it.

How do streamers get so good so fast…?

Is it because they get coached by pros? If so, then why am I still trash even though I watch all their advice? Is it just talent? Pure talent?

I still couldn’t beat Hayama.

I mean, FPS games were more my thing anyway, so it was only natural… but my pride wouldn’t let me just sit back and let that nerd gloat.

Damn him. Acting all high and mighty, shooting like he owns the place…

If I were just a little better, I could shut him down completely. In my head, I was already winning. In my head.

…Watching this was making me want to play.

Leaving the clip running on my phone, I rolled out of bed and powered on my monitor and console.

Might as well get some practice in now. Once Hayama got home, I’d finally destroy him.

With that goal in mind, I clutched my controller and started playing.

“Take that…! Ugh! No way, I didn’t mean to do that!”

One hour later, I was mentally drained.

After a string of losses, I got desperate and played sloppily, which only led to even more losses. The worst kind of downward spiral.

Finally tearing my eyes away from the monitor, I noticed that the lights in Hayama’s window were still off.

…He’s home late today.

What’s he up to…?

I put my controller down and moved to the window.

Peeking through the curtain, I saw that it was already pretty dark outside.

The curtains in Hayama’s room were drawn, and there was no sign of anyone inside.

Did he stop somewhere on the way home?

Maybe the bookstore? He does read sometimes.

Or a game shop…? Wait, no, he usually downloads his games.

Still, would that take this long…?

…Why do I even care?

I sound like his stalker.

“—I’m home!”

Mom’s loud voice rang out from downstairs.

“Mikage! You awake?!”

“I’m awake!”

I yelled back.

She always asks because I tend to nap around this time, but honestly, her voice is loud enough to wake me up anyway.

I heard her footsteps on the stairs and quickly closed the curtain.

“I got some meat! Do you want shabu-shabu or sukiyaki?”

“Uhh… sukiyaki, I guess.”

“Got it!”

…Actually, sukiyaki sounds pretty good.

I turned around and glanced once at the dark curtain.

…Seriously, what is he doing?

Not that it has anything to do with me…

Leaving the window, I powered down the console and monitor, grabbed my phone, and stepped out of my room.

Helping Mom out when I’m free might pay off in the future—if I ever end up unemployed, she might go easy on me.

After stuffing myself with meat, I returned to my room to find the world outside still shrouded in darkness.

He’s still not back?

It was already past eight. This wasn’t just a casual detour after school.

This had never happened before.

Hayama always came home around the same time as me, and his room was always lit.

Staying out this late… unless he’d joined a club, that is…

…A club?

No way… Hayama isn’t part of the Go-Home Club?

Isn’t it way too late to be joining one? …Well, I guess May is technically still within the cutoff, but I wouldn’t know—I’ve never joined a club.

So while I was here, raging over a fighting game all alone… he was off somewhere, having fun with a bunch of people I don’t even know?

…Honestly, I can’t picture it at all.

Unless the other members were insanely nice to him.

I stood frozen in the middle of my dark room.

…What is this feeling?

Am I… bothered by this?

No, no, no.

First of all, the whole idea that he might have joined a club is just my own baseless assumption.

…Assumption?

It’s not like it’s harming me, so I wouldn’t call it damage.

But why?

Even if he really did join a club, why should I feel anything about it?

It has nothing to do with me.

Nothing… to do with me.

—Ugh, come on! There’s no point overthinking this!

I could just ask him. Yeah, I could just say, “What were you up to this late at night?”

—Or is it a girlfriend?

“Mmmghh…!”

Groaning, I collapsed onto my bed.

What is he doing at this hour?

Even for a club, this is way too late.

I was supposed to destroy him in a match today.

Where… and what is he doing right now?

Until now, I could always tell at a glance—if his light was on, he was home.

He was always right there.

Always somewhere I could see him.

But now…

If he were in his room, I could open the window and talk to him—

—No.

Actually.

If I had his contact information—

—Click.

Suddenly, his room lit up.

“!?”

I bolted upright in bed, staring at the curtain-drawn window.

Light.

The room across from mine was lit.

Hayama was back.

I climbed out of bed, walked to the window, and reached for the curtain—

And froze.

…If I open this now, wouldn’t it totally look like I was waiting for him?

Like a newlywed wife eagerly awaiting her husband’s return? The kind who greets him at the door, still wearing her apron?

…No, that’s ridiculous. We live in separate houses.

And besides, his curtains are closed. Even if I open mine, he won’t notice immediately—

—Shfft.

The sound of a curtain sliding open.

Hayama opened his curtain.

Why… at this hour?

Was he checking to see if my curtain was open?

He still seemed hung up on that accidental incident from the first day.

Or maybe—

—Maybe he had something he wanted to say to me.

He didn’t seem to notice me standing at my window.

In just a few seconds, he would probably close his curtain again.

And if he did, that would be it for tonight.

Not that it mattered.

It wasn’t like I needed anything from him.

We’d see each other tomorrow at school anyway.

That would be enough.

There was no reason for me to do anything—

—Just slightly, I nudged my curtain open.

—And at that moment, our eyes met.

“Ah.”

I was startled, but Hayama flinched even harder.

Then, he slid his window open.

“Jeez… Can you not do that?”

He talked to me first.

At this point, there was no avoiding it.

I opened my own window.

“Your room was dark, so I seriously thought you were a ghost…”

His voice, now much clearer, carried a distinct note of relief.

Ha. He got scared.

Normally, I’d tease him for that, but for some reason, I wasn’t in the mood.

The first question that popped into my head was:

“What were you doing out so late?”

But the more I thought about it, the more it sounded like something a clingy girlfriend would say.

And that was unacceptable.

Not just the girlfriend part—the clingy girlfriend part.

What do I do?

What should I even say?

Normally, I wouldn’t mind lapsing into silence in front of Hayama, but for some reason, this time felt different.

I had to say something. I had to phrase it just right.

That thought spiraled around in my head, but no words came out. I just stood there, eyes darting around awkwardly, as the night breeze swept through—

“…I went out to eat with my family.”

Hayama spoke first.

He said the one thing I had wanted to know the most.

“They told me out of nowhere after school, so I ended up going in my uniform. It had been a while since we ate out, and the food was good, but—”

It wasn’t even an interesting story.

And yet, I was hanging onto every word.

Dinner with family.

Oh… so that’s all it was.

…That’s all.

“…We had sukiyaki tonight.”

The tightness in my chest eased just enough for me to speak.

“Mom got some meat from someone, so…”

“Nice. I haven’t had sukiyaki in forever.”

But the anxiety still hadn’t faded.

Somewhere deep inside, I knew.

There was still something I needed to say.

“I was watching some stream highlights earlier—”

I had to ask.

“I got too into it and lost a ton of points—”

I had to ask.

“Streamers are just on another level—”

I didn’t want to be left behind.

“…Hey.”

I had thought it wasn’t necessary.

That we could always talk.

That he would always be there.

But—

That wasn’t how the world worked.

He and I were just two separate people.

At any moment, it would be easy for him to drift beyond my reach.

“It’s about time you… gave me your, um… contact info…”

Even if it was embarrassing.

Even if it was just one more small connection—I had to secure it.

“Huh?”

Even if—

“W-Wait, why now?”

—Even if he misunderstood my intentions.

“Shut up. Just do it.”

And so—

“How do you even add someone on LINE?”

“No idea…?”

“You must know! You have a little sister!”

“Yeah, but she always handled it for me.”

“Ugh… Is it this thing?”

“Don’t you just shake the phone or something?”

“That actually works at this distance?”

“Beats me…”

Neither of us had a clue how to exchange contact info.

By the time we figured it out, we were both shivering from the cold.

It sucked.