Unable to Fall in Love Syndrome - Chapter 28

Chapter 28 – Sunny Side Up Fairy Tale 07

In the afternoon, Zuo Yi posted a Moments update on WeChat:

“I’ll fight you to the bitter end.”

Ying Shengnan liked it, Qiao Shan liked it, Jian Shizhang liked it, and Guo Fei liked it.

Jian Shizhang commented: “You’re really regressing with age, getting more childish.”

Ying Shengnan commented, “Who are you fighting to the bitter end with? Use that energy to chase a girl instead, okay? Okay? Okay? I’m calling you big bro!”

Qiao Shan replied to Ying Shengnan: “Old beast, don’t corrupt my boyfriend!”

When Ying Shengnan saw that reply, he was still at the motorcycle racetrack flirting with a girl. He stared at her in disbelief, overjoyed to the point of tears. “Come on, girl, pinch me.”

The girl reached out her fair, delicate hand and stroked his face instead, stomping her foot as she said, “Hate it, taking advantage of me.”

Ying Shengnan glared at her anxiously. “Hey, who’s taking advantage of whom? I said pinch, pinch—do you get it? It’s q-i-a, qia! Not m-o, mo! Pinch, not stroke, sister.” With that, he raised his hand and slapped himself across the face.

The pain was intense, and the reply was still there in Moments!

So, the girl watched as Ying Shengnan dashed out of the racetrack like a big gorilla, happily bounding away, and she muttered, “Nutcase—”

That evening, Qiao Shan and Zuo Yi went to a newly opened restaurant near the neighborhood for dinner. Qiao Shan gripped a lamb leg, eating it with greasy lips, and looked up at the refined guy across from her, who was using a knife and fork to cut his lamb leg. “Zuo Stingy, don’t you find it troublesome eating grilled lamb like that?”

Zuo Yi glanced at her without a word, slicing the lamb leg into neat pieces and placing them on his plate. Once it was full, he generously pushed it over to Qiao Shan.

Qiao Shan was stunned. “You spent all that time cutting it for me?”

Zuo Yi: “As your boyfriend, isn’t this what I should do?”

Qiao Shan let out a long “Oh,” dragging out the sound. “Alright then, buddy, you’re getting into character fast?” She handed over the half-eaten lamb leg she’d been gnawing on. “Here, no better way to repay you. Eat up.”

She was just joking, fully expecting Zuo Yi to unleash his sharp tongue and mock her mercilessly. But instead, the opposite happened. Zuo Yi leaned in and bit into the lamb leg she offered, took a bite, set it down, and elegantly wiped his mouth. “So, you like indirect kisses, huh?”

Qiao Shan’s mind was a storm of shock. This… when did this guy get so shameless?

On second thought, Zuo Yi had been unusually nice to her lately, and it all boiled down to Ying Shengnan pushing him too hard. The current Zuo Yi was worlds apart from the old sarcastic guy who always argued with her.

Qiao Shan wiped her hands and opened her marriage database app on her phone, handing it to Zuo Yi. “Here, these are the girls in my database who match you. Pick one, and I’ll set you up.”

Zuo Yi took the phone and glanced at it, giving an honest critique: “Who made this app for you? Could the interface be any worse? Could the user experience be any more frustrating?”

Qiao Shan rolled her eyes at him. “What do you know? I spent a hundred thousand—a hundred thousand—to get this app made! It syncs across PC, phone, and iPad, with nearly a thousand potential clients stored, almost a hundred pending ones, and nearly fifty premium clients…”

Zuo Yi: “The categories are unclear, and the user experience in one word—terrible. Come over to my place tonight, and I’ll optimize it for you for free.”

Qiao Shan stared at him, mouth agape. “You, a boss, know how to code?”

Zuo Yi: “You think I became a boss just because of my looks?”

Qiao Shan shut her mouth. The facts proved that his skills outshone his handsome face.

After dinner, back home, Qiao Shan handed him her laptop. Zuo Yi spent the whole evening optimizing the app—or rather, rewriting the code from scratch on top of the original. Now it was easy to add or change categories, and much simpler to use. He ditched the old interface and redesigned it with a pink color scheme as the main theme.

Once optimized, Zuo Yi added Qiao Shan’s photo to it. The next morning, he imported the program to her phone and let her try the updated version.

Qiao Shan tapped the interface and exclaimed, “Whoa, the interface turned pink! It’s so pretty—simple but with strong design vibes. You did this?”

“Mm-hmm.” Zuo Yi gestured to her. “Try the features.”

Qiao Shan noticed a new category called [Exclusive: Zuo Yi’s Little Girlfriend]. She tapped it lightly, and the screen immediately showed a photo of herself with greasy lips gnawing on a lamb leg. Another tap, and all her details popped up.

Scrolling to the bottom of the profile, there were two little hearts connected by a red line. Zuo Yi explained: “Tap the red line, and it breaks. Tap again, and it reconnects. If you connect the red line, it means the client’s match is successful, and the app auto-moves them to the ‘Off the Market’ category.”

Qiao Shan tested the feature, and sure enough, it auto-categorized. With phone and computer syncing, this was super useful for her—tasks that used to take an hour now took seconds with the app.

Her work efficiency skyrocketed, and suddenly, she felt a bit reluctant to match Zuo Yi with other girls.

She kind of wanted to keep him for herself.

*

The day before Qiao Mom’s birthday, Xiao Jia, Qiao Shan, and Zuo Yi set off for Mingyang.

It was a five-hour drive from Jinyang to Mingyang. Xiao Jia had wanted Qiao Shan to ride with him, but Zuo Yi butted in, and in the end, he could only watch helplessly as Qiao Shan and Dudu got into his rival’s car.

At noon, they stopped at a rest area on the highway. There were no restaurants, just instant food, so Zuo Yi pulled a foldable small table from his trunk and set it up on the ground. He took out some pre-made cold dishes, and Xiao Jia brought out his homemade bread, scraping together a meal.

The three people and one dog gathered around the low table, about to dig in, when an off-road vehicle pulled up. The window rolled down, and Ying Shengnan stuck out half his body, pointing at Dudu, who was ready to eat. “Beast, wait for me to get out before you eat!”

Dudu actually paused, dropping the sausage from its mouth back into the bowl, tilting its head to look at him.

Ying Shengnan got out, walked over, and unceremoniously broke off a piece of bread, stuffing it into his mouth. With three people and one dog staring at him, he felt a bit awkward. “What are you all looking at me for? Eat, eat already.”

Qiao Shan asked him, “What are you doing here?”

Ying Shengnan: “I… I’m heading to Mingyang City for a work inspection. Ying Shi Xuan has a branch there, so I need to check it out.”

Qiao Shan didn’t buy it. “Old beast, don’t think I don’t know what you’re up to. Put away your scheming guts—Zuo Yi is my man now, so forget about teaching him how to pick up girls.”

Xiao Jia paused mid-bite, his eyelids lowering slightly.

Ying Shengnan: “Qiao Sis, you’ve got it wrong. In my heart, the sister-in-law spot is forever yours—it starts with you, ends with you, only you, no one else! I swear, I swear to heaven—if I’m lying, may lightning strike me.”

“Boom—”

The cumulonimbus clouds thickened in the sky, and right on cue, thunder rumbled.

Qiao Shan pointed at the sky. “Old beast, even heaven doesn’t believe your words!”

Ying Shengnan wiped his hands, squatted down, and tugged at his ear. “Sister-in-law, believe me—it’s all from the heart.”

Zuo Yi interrupted them: “Hurry up and eat. If it rains, it’ll slow us down—we need to reach Mingyang City before dark.”

By six in the afternoon, the group finally arrived in Mingyang.

Qiao Shan’s home was in a villa district on the outskirts of Mingyang. Before coming, Qiao Shan had already discussed it with Zuo Yi—he’d stay at her house as her boyfriend. What she hadn’t expected was Ying Shengnan showing up midway.

The Qiao family already had plenty of relatives and friends over, mostly there for Qiao Mom’s birthday. When the relatives saw Qiao Shan bringing back two unfamiliar men, they were all shocked. Both drove luxury cars, with looks on par with Xiao Jia’s, and their auras even outshone his a bit. The relatives sighed: That Qiao Shan girl—quiet for so long, but when she makes a move, it’s a shocker!

Qiao Mom was over fifty but still elegant and charming. The moment she saw Zuo Yi and Ying Shengnan, her matchmaker instincts kicked in, and she couldn’t stop talking. Learning that Zuo Yi was her daughter’s boyfriend and Ying Shengnan was the future in-law’s parent, she warmly welcomed them inside. She praised Qiao Shan to the skies, making her sound unparalleled. Only today did Qiao Shan realize how outstanding she was in her mom’s mouth…

With such a handsome future son-in-law, Qiao Mom beamed with pride, smiling radiantly in front of the relatives.

Tomorrow was Qiao Mom’s 50th birthday banquet, and the house was filled with relatives. After dinner, Qiao Mom started arranging rooms. Ying Shengnan was put in a room with Qiao Shan’s uncle, leaving Zuo Yi alone. Qiao Mom clapped her hands. “Oh dear, with so many relatives, no spare rooms left. Zuo Yi, how about this—tonight, just make do and share a room with our Shan Shan. Her bed’s big; you two can roll around however you want!”

Zuo Yi had no objections: “Sure.”

Qiao Shan’s face darkened as she pinched him. “Sure, what? Ever heard of propriety between men and women?”

Ying Shengnan munched on a sweet potato chip and leaned in. “You two are a couple; you’ll get married eventually. Sooner or later, you’ll share a bed, right?”

Qiao Mom thought Ying Shengnan was such an understanding in-law and said to Qiao Shan, “You stinky girl, your boyfriend doesn’t mind sharing a bed with you—what’s your problem?”

“…” Qiao Shan: “Mom, am I really your biological child?”

Qiao Mom: “Came free with the sweet potato chips! Go on, you two, head up, shower, and sleep early. Tomorrow, we’ve got a bunch of relatives to deal with.”

Qiao Shan drooped her head. “Fine, we’re going.” She grabbed Zuo Yi’s arm and headed upstairs.

Ying Shengnan watched the perfect pair go up, feeling like he was seeing them off to their wedding night.

Just then, the doorbell dinged. Qiao Mom was busy tidying the coffee table and asked Ying Shengnan, “In-law, could you open the door for me?”

Ying Shengnan: “No problem.”

Outside, lightning flashed, thunder roared, and rain poured down. Ying Shengnan opened the door, letting in wind and rain. Standing there was a girl in a white dress, about 1.7 meters tall, with clear, profound features. Her wet hair stuck to her face, making her jade-like skin look even paler.

The girl pursed her purple-tinged lips, her eyes like black pearls just fished from water, sparkling with moisture.

Ying Shengnan didn’t know how to describe this girl’s beauty. He wasn’t young anymore; as a kid, he’d had a crush on Hong Kong star Joey Wong. This girl had the same pure, ethereal features as Joey Wong, but without the worldly dust.

White, clean, fresh as water.

That was Ying Shengnan’s first impression of the girl. How could there be such a beautiful girl?

Seeing that the girl wasn’t coming in, Qiao Mom hurried over, pulled the girl inside, grabbed a towel, and started drying her hair while nagging: “Why’d you come alone? And so late? Isn’t your brother worried?”

The girl said softly: “Brother’s busy.”

Qiao Mom trembled with anger. “And he just lets you come alone like that?”

The girl: “Brother had the driver drop me off.”

Qiao Mom sighed in relief. “As long as you didn’t come alone. Have you eaten? Auntie will make you some noodles. Shan Shan’s already asleep.”

The girl pouted: “But I want to see Shan Shan.”

Qiao Mom couldn’t refuse her and called to Ying Shengnan: “In-law, this is my sister’s daughter, Tian Jian. Watch her for me; I’ll go get Qiao Shan down.”

Ying Shengnan stared at the girl, eyes wide. “Go ahead, go ahead.”

After Qiao Mom went upstairs, Ying Shengnan played host and poured Tian Jian some water. Tian Jian took the cup from him timidly and whispered thanks. Ying Shengnan noticed a special bracelet on her wrist with big words:

“My name is Tian Jian. My family’s contact number is: 156****1220.”

Ying Shengnan sat beside her, inexplicably nervous. “Your name’s Tian Jian? I’m Ying Shengnan—you can call me Old Ying.”

As a grown man, he didn’t beat around the bush; at his age, he didn’t hide his feelings.

Tian Jian seemed a bit scared of him. Holding the cup, she pursed her lips and scooted to the other side of the sofa, asking softly: “Are you a bad person?”

Ying Shengnan thought she was joking and laughed. “You young girls sure know how to tease.”

Tian Jian frowned warily. “If you’re a bad person, I’ll call the police.”

Seeing her serious face, Ying Shengnan suddenly realized something. He asked: “How old are you this year?”

The girl hesitated, then replied: “Brother says not to tell strangers my age casually.”

Ying Shengnan caught on and dropped his playful grin, getting serious. He softened his tone: “I’m not a bad person; I’m Shan Shan’s good friend.”

Tian Jian looked at him suspiciously. “You’re… Shan Shan’s good friend?” Finally relaxing, she extended her fair hand to Ying Shengnan. “Hello, I’m Tian Jian, nineteen years old.”

She was a naive nineteen-year-old girl. Ying Shengnan silently calculated that he was over a decade older than her.