When I started High School, My Childhood Friend, who had suddenly become distant and cold, was harassed by a stranger. I stepped in to help, and as a result, from the following day, My Childhood Friend's behavior became unusual. - Chapter 7

“Natsuki, do you want to have a study session at your place tomorrow?”

“Even if we do, we always end up playing games anyway… But sure, why not?”

Natsuki and I had been childhood friends since kindergarten. Even though I had other friends, Natsuki was the one who had always stayed by my side. I knew there was something special about the way I felt toward him—different from the way I felt about anyone else.

(Lately, my heart’s been acting strange… Why is that? And why does my body feel warm?)

“Hm? What’s wrong?” Natsuki’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

“Sorry, I was just thinking.”

“…Your face is red. Are you sure you’re not running a fever?”
“Is it? I’m fine, really.”

We were always together, and I believed that would never change. Even when we spoke less or had fewer chances to hang out, whenever we met, our conversations would flow like before. Those days spent with Natsuki were irreplaceable, though at the time, I didn’t realize how precious they were. Now, I know they are treasured memories.

In April of my first year of high school, I was accepted into the same school as Natsuki. It was hard for me—I wasn’t as smart as him, and the entrance exams were tough, but the thought of going to the same school kept me motivated.

“Oh, looks like we’re in different classes,” I said.

“Yeah, I was hoping we’d be in the same one,” Natsuki replied.

“Will you be okay without me?”

“Hey, I’m more social than you think… Actually, never mind. Maybe not,” he said, chuckling.

I laughed too. “If anything happens, you know you can always come to me.”

Despite our hopes, we ended up in separate classes. I thought we’d still find moments to talk, but things didn’t turn out that way.

“Natsuki, do you want to have lunch toge—”

“Shizune! Come eat lunch with us again today!”

“Uh, I… maybe another time.”

Before I knew it, Natsuki had drifted out of my daily life, and our chances to talk became rare. While I adapted quickly to my class, making friends within the first week, the absence of Natsuki, with whom I had once shared daily conversations, left a gap that I couldn’t fill.

(I wish I could talk to Natsuki more often.)

We would occasionally pass each other in the hallway and exchange simple greetings, but real conversations were few and far between. Even though I was enjoying school life, a part of my mind was always on Natsuki. Looking back, I realize that I had feelings for him even then, but I didn’t recognize them for what they were because we were childhood friends.

“Alright, it’s time to decide the committee members…”

The turning point came about two weeks after school started.

(I’ve never tried something like this before, but it might be interesting…)

I decided to join a committee, even though it seemed like it might be a challenge.

“Oh, Natsuki?” I was surprised to see him at the committee meeting during lunch.

“Shizune! You joined this committee too?” he asked, a smile spreading across his face.

We hadn’t had many chances to talk since school began, but now that we were in the same committee, we started seeing each other more frequently.

“How’s school life treating you? Made any friends?” I asked.

“Nope, not really.”

“Figures… What about a crush? Do you like anyone?”

“Do you think I do?”

“Definitely not.”

Talking with Natsuki felt even more enjoyable than before. It was around this time that I started to feel something deeper.

(Why does my heart race whenever we talk? Why am I so nervous just being near him?)

“What about you, Shizune? Do you like anyone?” he asked, tilting his head slightly.

(Is this… love? No, it can’t be… can it?)

It was an unfamiliar feeling, one that left me confused.

“…N-No, I don’t. I don’t really understand love,” I replied, my voice wavering.

“Huh? You hesitated for a moment… Does that mean you do?” he teased.

“No, no, I don’t!”

In middle school, I had been teased a lot for being close to Natsuki. “Do you like him?” or “Why don’t you two just start dating?” people would say. Back then, I brushed it off easily, but if someone had asked me the same thing now, I would have been flustered.

It was around this time that I truly recognized my feelings for Natsuki. But by then, I felt it was too late. Everything had already changed, and Natsuki had drifted beyond my reach.
If only I had realized my feelings sooner, would things have turned out differently?

The alarm blared, pulling me out of sleep. I reached for it groggily and turned it off, rubbing my eyes. It was then that I noticed tears streaming down my face.

(I knew it… It’s not something I can forget so easily. It’s still haunting me, even in my dreams.)

“If I had realized my feelings sooner, would I have been the one standing by Natsuki’s side now?”

The regret weighed heavily on my heart. Even though the possibility of being with Natsuki was almost nonexistent now, I couldn’t let go of these lingering feelings.

I opened the curtains, but the sky was overcast, and no sunlight entered the room.