Why Suffer for This Distress (GL) - Chapter 4
“What proper business could you possibly have?” He Jingmo gave Su Xiyan absolutely no quarter, wearing an expression that clearly said, “I have very little regard for you.” Su Xiyan also knew that her action of chasing the person away the other day was quite annoying. Feeling guilty, she didn’t argue with her and pulled her arm toward the back gate of the school.
“Aiya, let’s go quickly, what’s with the arrogance?”
He Jingmo rolled her eyes and slapped her hand away. “Why are you tugging at me? I’m a mentor! A mentor, understand? I need to maintain a mentor’s image, let go quickly.”
Su Xiyan raised an eyebrow, looking at her: “A mentor’s image? If these budding young flowers knew that their Mentor He once knocked out her front teeth because she was scared of a cockroach on the road, and now talks with a lisp, what do you think they would—”
“Su Xiyan!”
“Why are you calling me so intimately?”
“…”
After a round of arguing, the two finally arrived at the restaurant they used to love. As soon as they entered, Su Xiyan started getting friendly with the familiar staff. Throughout this process, He Jingmo remained silent, observing with a cold eye.
When the dishes arrived, looking at Su Xiyan who was eating happily, He Jingmo couldn’t help but complain: “You’ve become so verbose. You’re so different from when you were in college. Aren’t you afraid of scaring people?”
“What? Was I very beautiful in college?” Su Xiyan looked up, smiling at He Jingmo, her narrow, beautiful eyes sparkling with excitement. He Jingmo glanced at her, then uncomfortably turned her head away. “Beautiful is too much to say, but you were at least decent. Not like now, acting like a menopausal aunt, finding anyone to talk to.”
This time, Su Xiyan was displeased. She bit into a chicken gizzard and glared at He Jingmo: “What do you mean ‘menopausal aunt’? I’m a maiden in her prime who has been tempered by the years and transformed into a powerful career woman, alright? Why does everything sound so awful when it comes out of your mouth?”
“Powerful career woman?” He Jingmo laughed uncontrollably as if she had heard a joke. Su Xiyan looked at her bitterly. “Do you think I don’t want to remain the universally adored little lotus flower on campus? But with the massive Su Group sitting right there, if I treated everyone the way I used to, wouldn’t everyone starve to death?”
The laughter stopped abruptly. He Jingmo pursed her lips, watching Su Xiyan without a word. Su Xiyan also spoke with a hint of grievance. She picked up the beer beside her and drank it down in one go: “You still blame me for drinking. If I don’t drink, how am I supposed to get business? You don’t understand people these days. Just take the other day, when I had dinner with President Xiao of Shenghuang. That woman, she wasn’t doing business; she was clearly here for a drinking contest. One glass of wine, one deal. Tell me, should I drink or not? You really do act like a mentor, completely living in the beautiful era of textbooks where the people rose up and danced the yangge with red headscarves.”
He Jingmo didn’t speak, just quietly watched Su Xiyan, a hint of distress flashing in her eyes. Everyone blamed Su Xiyan for being reckless, but who ever considered her helplessness? Even so, He Jingmo didn’t want Su Xiyan to be like this. Money is never enough, but health is gone forever. But what could she do? Her stubborn nature wasn’t a one or two-day thing. Once she decided on something, no one could change it.
“Alright, enough talk. If I keep talking, I’ll only get sad. Let’s discuss proper business.” Su Xiyan waved her hand. She wasn’t used to revealing her heart to others. Even though the person in front of her was a close friend who was with her day and night, like a sister, she still felt a bit awkward.
“Go ahead, I’m all ears.” He Jingmo held her coffee, leaning back in her chair, watching Su Xiyan, and letting out a soft sigh. This person was still the same: incredibly competitive, always insisting on saving face. Wasn’t she tired?
“Uh, well, just sit comfortably. Why so serious?” Su Xiyan found He Jingmo’s proper posture a bit difficult to accept. She smiled awkwardly and said: “Actually, I just wanted to ask you, do you particularly despise me for liking women?”
“Despise?” He Jingmo frowned. She didn’t like that word.
The tacit understanding of many years made Su Xiyan understand what He Jingmo was thinking. She sighed, picked up the wine glass beside her, took a silent sip, and looked out the window, her face full of sadness.
“Actually, I don’t want to be this way either, but I can’t control my orientation. It’s not that I dislike men, I just can’t muster up any energy for them. Jingmo, I didn’t mean for you to understand me, I just hoped you wouldn’t look down on me. After all, after all, we’ve been sisters for so many years…” Su Xiyan turned around, looking at He Jingmo with tears in her eyes. The look of pain was so intense it made people feel pity.
He Jingmo looked at her calmly, slowly turning the mug in her hand, and spoke: “Su Xiyan, when did you take up acting?”
“…”
Su Xiyan looked at He Jingmo powerlessly. She had finally managed to pinch her thigh hard enough to bring up some tears. How was she seen through so easily? Was she really that much of a failure?!
“And you can’t muster up interest in men? Who was just laughing at that little boy like a morning glory, with the fat jiggling on both sides?”
He Jingmo was not going to give Su Xiyan any face. She knew the person in front of her too well. If she succeeded in playing pitiful, He Jingmo would have to do all the housework next month.
“You really are something.” Su Xiyan defensively picked up the glass on the side and finished it in one gulp. He Jingmo raised an eyebrow and kindly reminded her: “You didn’t pour any wine after finishing the last glass. Why are you dramatically downing an empty cup now?”
“Pfft…” The waiter who was just serving the food couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Su Xiyan tightly clenched the cup, her face flushing red as she looked at He Jingmo. He Jingmo watched her unblinkingly, with no intention of backing down.
“Alright, hurry up and get to your proper business.” He Jingmo gave Su Xiyan a way out. Su Xiyan gritted her teeth and glared at her, first pouring beer into the glass before continuing: “Anyway, that’s the gist of it: I like women, and I can’t change it. If you find it disgusting or hard to accept, then we’ll just have to call it quits.”
“Call it quits?” He Jingmo repeated. There was an icy chill in her calm voice that demanded respect without anger. This time, Su Xiyan was the one who was amused. She looked at He Jingmo excitedly and grabbed her hand. “Jingmo, so you’re saying you don’t object to me liking women?”
He Jingmo rolled her eyes and said irritably: “Did you think I only found out you liked women when I saw you pinching that butt the other day?”
“Ah?” Su Xiyan looked at He Jingmo in surprise. “It wasn’t?”
He Jingmo couldn’t even bother to roll her eyes this time. “I saw you misleading innocent schoolmates plenty of times in college.”
“Come on, misleading? They were attracted by my Queenly aura, alright?” Knowing that He Jingmo didn’t look down on her preference for women, the huge stone that had been weighing on Su Xiyan’s heart finally lifted. She immediately started showing off, her face beaming with delight.
He Jingmo rolled her eyes at the sky again, looked at Su Xiyan, and asked: “Speaking of which, are you really that afraid of me despising you?” Her tone shifted, and her gaze focused on Su Xiyan. Su Xiyan nodded, tightening her grip on He Jingmo’s hand, and admitted openly: “Of course. From childhood until now, besides my brother, you are the person I am closest to. To have one confidante in life is enough, and you are that one ‘enough’ for me.”
“Confidante…” He Jingmo repeated, looking at Su Xiyan holding her hand.
“Aiya, I’m too happy, Jingmo. No way, I must have a few more drinks today.”
“That’s enough.” He Jingmo frowned. “Aren’t you going home?”
Su Xiyan was in high spirits, her cheeks flushed. She squinted her eyes, propping her head up with one hand, and looked at He Jingmo very seductively. “I’ve had a drink, you know. How can I drive? Could you send me back, please?”
He Jingmo looked at her crossly and said fiercely: “Drink! Just drink! How many times have I told you not to drink outside? Do you even know what you’re like when you drink?”
“I know, like a vixen, right? What can I say, I’m a pretty woman. Aiya, having too much charm is a kind of trouble too.”
Su Xiyan drank another glass, exceptionally excited by her self-praise. He Jingmo frowned, snatched the wine glass, and cleanly slapped the money on the table.
“Check, please!”
After paying the bill, He Jingmo helped Su Xiyan walk out of the restaurant. The cold wind blew, and Su Xiyan came to her senses. She licked her lips, looking at He Jingmo dejectedly. “Why did you drag me out? My favorite large intestines just arrived! You spendthrift woman, all those dishes on the table!”
“How dare you lecture me?” He Jingmo’s brows were tightly knotted, looking very impatient. Seeing this, Su Xiyan immediately gave a compensatory smile. “Well, those unnutritious things are better left uneaten. But, Jingmo, can we take a stroll on the track? I haven’t been there in ages, and I really want to go.”
“We can go.” He Jingmo took a deep breath, looking at Su Xiyan: “But could ‘I’ [referring to Su Xiyan’s affected speech] please straighten her tongue before talking to me?”
…
After much bickering, they finally arrived at the track. Su Xiyan looked up at the stars in the sky, spread her arms, and excitedly shouted: “Ah, blue sky! white clouds! I finally see you again! Did you miss your older sister?”
“It’s the middle of the night. What blue sky and white clouds can you see?” He Jingmo looked at Su Xiyan speechlessly. Su Xiyan turned around, smiling sweetly at He Jingmo. “Jingmo, I’m so happy.”
Under the moonlight, her black hair, with its satin sheen, fluttered in the wind. The black long dress enveloped her thin, tall body. Her fair skin was slightly flushed pink, and those captivating eyes… Su Xiyan just stood there looking at He Jingmo, completely unaware of how incredibly alluring she looked right now.
“Stop messing around. Let’s take a walk, hmm?” He Jingmo coaxed Su Xiyan as she always used to. The darkness of the night hid the faint blush on her face, and that familiar, coaxing voice hadn’t changed after all these years.
“Fine. It’s a perfect time for me to give you a crash course on this topic.” Su Xiyan got excited again, linking arms with He Jingmo, just like they did in college. She looked at He Jingmo and asked happily: “Jingmo, Jingmo, do you know what a beauty like me is called in the circle?”
“You’re in ‘the circle’?” He Jingmo frowned. Clearly, their focuses were not aligned. Su Xiyan pouted. “What are you thinking?” Seriously, this woman was always such a wet blanket.
“Forget it. What is someone like you called?” He Jingmo suppressed the discomfort in her heart and looked at Su Xiyan. Su Xiyan raised an eyebrow, straightened her back, and answered with a proud, loud voice: “Strong Gong [Strong Dominant].”
…
He Jingmo was stunned for a long time, looking at Su Xiyan with confusion. “Strong Gong?”
Su Xiyan knew He Jingmo wouldn’t understand what this meant and nodded emphatically. “Yes!”
He Jingmo stared at her without speaking. Su Xiyan looked back at her arrogantly, feeling as if she was covered in starlight, instantly becoming stronger.
After a long pause, He Jingmo finally regained her composure, looked at her, and asked puzzledly: “Then—are you sure you’re not a Cheap Shou [Cheap Submissive]?”
“…”
Whoosh! The starlight on her body instantly vanished. Su Xiyan widened her eyes and looked at He Jingmo, her face as stiff and foul-looking as if she had eaten a rock from a cesspit.