Wish to Get Rich But Wear a Scumbag A - Chapter 48

“Is this really mandarin fish? Wow, 30 yuan a pound! They might as well just buy a live one and whip us to death with its tail.”

Du Yihan glanced at her, surprised. “You haven’t been beaten to death by Wenxin yet?”

“What kind of talk is that? Our Sister Ke is naturally beautiful, with a kind face that screams ‘good person.’ If the heavens would grant me tickets to her concert, I’d burn incense day and night to worship them. When she performs, I’ll dress up with a scar and carry a cleaver, guarding the ticket gate and shouting, ‘Friends~ Tickets, anyone?’ Everyone would be so moved they’d cry, and they’d crown me the Ticket God.”

Yan He shot her a sideways glance. “As for you, Director Han, who do you think you threw? You threw a future deity! Before my ascension, I’ll give you a chance to redeem yourself. Later, find a crowded place and beg for food with me. If we get a chicken leg, I’ll forgive you.”

“…Chicken wings are fine too. I’m not picky.”

Du Yihan was exasperated. “? Why would we need to beg for food?!”

If they ran out of real money, would the production team just sit back and watch the guests starve?!

…It’s hard to say.

Director Zhao has a history.

The top trending search term was: “What kind of normal dating show could a dating show associated with the ‘Seven-Day Vegetarian Slimming Secret’ be?”

Du Yihan suddenly recalled a senior’s tragic experience and said, still shaken, “Buy the fish dead—it’ll be cheaper. Maybe we should just get half a pig kidney? The three judges won’t eat much. We can save some money for instant noodles for lunch and dinner. If we’re still hungry, we can add an egg.”

Yan He: “Shocking! The talented Director D stages a public ‘鸳鸯棒打’ drama at a small-town supermarket, forcibly separating childhood sweethearts and their pig kidneys! Is this a perversion of human nature or a moral collapse?”

Du Yihan: “???”

Mu Xu withdrew his gaze from Zhou Yunuo and suggested, “We could invite them to eat with us. If we pool our money, we should be able to save on groceries after deducting the competition expenses. They all know how to cook, so we can ask them how to stir-fry pig kidneys.”

Yan He: “Shocking! A devoted Alpha schemes to swindle ten yuan from a stranger Omega for living expenses! The truth? A divorced mother of three wants to steal the tender pig kidneys!”

???

Help! I was just drinking water…

Let me back out and double-check. This show is supposed to be a dating show, not a marketing account… right?

I was taking a paid poop and casually opened the livestream. Now the whole building knows I’m slacking off in the bathroom.

I’m laughing so hard I’m convulsing. My mom thought Great-Grandmother had come to visit and is preparing talisman water…

Eldest Miss, stay far away from the marketing account lifestyle.

Over on the Omega side, everything’s peaceful and serene. I’m shipping them so hard!

Congratulations to you. (Gritting teeth emoji)

The Alpha side has never been normal… (Tears streaming down face emoji)

Who could be the reason? It’s so hard to guess~

I just realized something: why hasn’t anyone tagged our Eldest Miss?

Watch closely! This sword strike will be epic! @The God of Wealth’s Beloved: “Get Lost”

Administrator Message: User ID “Everyone On The Track” detected for suspected malicious spamming. Muted for one minute.

That’s just tragic.

Mu Xu’s expression darkened as he caught Yan He’s veiled sarcasm. Restrained by the cameras, he forced himself to remain calm. “If this won’t work and that won’t work, Miss Yan, what brilliant plan do you have?”

“Didn’t I already say? Begging,” Yan He clapped her hands, signaling her teammates to pay attention. “I just asked Cold Fish Killer. The park will be crowded this morning, so we’ll head straight there after buying supplies. You’ll play a blind man playing chess with an old man, while Li Jin will play a mute arguing with an old woman over who gets to lead the dance. When I smash my cup as a signal, you’ll all collapse, foaming at the mouth and convulsing violently. That’s when Director Han makes his grand entrance, flexing his muscles to perform for money to bury his mother.”

Mu Xu stared in disbelief. “A blind man playing chess? Are you deliberately mocking us?”

Du Yihan’s face turned dark as he took deep breaths, reminding himself not to let his wife hit anyone.

Li Jin, whose mental fortitude had been forged through countless bizarre team scenarios on the competition circuit, was still stunned. “Turning street performance into a Hongmen Banquet? How many marketing accounts have you been reading?”

Compared to Yan He, those marketing accounts seemed like raw recruits, utterly lacking in originality.

Has she finally snapped after living in her elder sister’s shadow all her life?

“Ah, the fickleness of the world! People’s hearts have grown so cold! It’s clearly my own cleverness and talent, yet they attribute it to those strangers outside. I see you’re jealous of the Empress Dowager’s favor toward me today, and you’re deliberately trying to slander me with these words. When I see the Empress Dowager, I’ll report you for deceiving the Emperor!”

Li Jin: “……”

Enough.

Truly, enough.

Looks like even the wealthy have unstable mental states…

If I ever find out which marketing accounts the Eldest Miss follows, I’ll memorize every single post!

The Eldest Miss has been playing with abstract concepts since she was young. What will she be like when she’s old?

When she’s old, she’ll be like aged soy sauce—dark, rich, and ready for the next course.

Empress Dowager = Ke Wenxin; Empress = Zhou Yunuo; Your Majesty = Qi Xingwan; Late Emperor = Li Jin; This Dowager = the Eldest Miss herself. That’s all for now. Newcomers, feel free to bookmark this!

Thank you, List Savior!

Just came from the Alpha Group. Why is no one talking there? Did they have a fight?

No fight. They’re electing a new Emperor over there.

Perfect timing! The Eldest Miss is currently “eliminating teammates.” If she wins, she’ll be crowned live on stream. Come join the fray and take a swing!

Damn it! All those sleepless nights memorizing plot points, and I still can’t beat you innate abstract holy bodies! My heart burns with resentment! Dies coughing up bl00d.jpg

The Alpha Group was a chaotic mess, but here, life flowed with serene tranquility.

“Last week, when I bought pork, the butcher saw I was young and weighed it down, even slipping me some scraps no one else wanted,” Zhou Yunuo grumbled, carrying the pork in one hand as she rode her bike. “Wenxin, lift that fish higher—don’t get the butcher’s bike dirty.”

Even though the bikes were old and shared, they still shouldn’t be stained with fishy odors.

“Got it! I’m so jealous of Yunuo’s one-handed cycling skills. Her balance is amazing, like a roly-poly toy. Unlike me, I’m too scared to ride with one hand—I can only ride hands-free!”

He Jiamu followed behind, her voice laced with concern. “Don’t ride hands-free, it’s dangerous.”

“Aiya~ I knew those concert tickets weren’t for nothing! Teacher He, you can worry about me in your heart, no need to say it out loud. Your fans, who barely get two meals every three days and have to grow their own food, would be upset. They wouldn’t want you to be troubled.”

He Jiamu awkwardly rang her bike bell.

Qi Xingwan: “…Sister Jiamu, your bell is broken.”

He Jiamu’s embarrassment deepened. She turned to Qi Xingwan, her only lifeline. “Does she always talk like this?”

Qi Xingwan hesitated, trying to find a way to answer without scaring He Jiamu. Before she could speak, Ke Wenxin’s affected voice drifted on the breeze.

“Oh, stop it~ I told you not to show so much concern for me on camera. Xiao Zhouzi and Xiao Qizi will be heartbroken.”

Qi Xingwan: “……”

He Jiamu: “……”

Zhou Yunuo: “Honestly, I’m starting to ship you and Yan He a little.”

Speak of the devil—just as Yan He’s name was mentioned, Du Yihan sped past them like a gust of wind and stopped ahead.

“Wait up! I’ve got something good for you.”