Wish to Get Rich But Wear a Scumbag A - Chapter 51

The Omega Group secured a decisive victory with a total score of 14.9, leaving no room for doubt.

Li Jin, despite his best efforts, couldn’t surpass them.

“It’s okay, your squirrel mandarin fish was delicious too,” Yan He said, dipping a steamed bun into the sauce and shaking her head contentedly. “It’s just that the fish was too small. We should buy a bigger one and cook it again sometime.”

This time, the steamed buns were normal, soft ones, making them easy to eat and reassuring for everyone.

“There’s rice in the kitchen. Why didn’t we just cook rice?” Mu Xu asked, puzzled.

“Director Zhao wouldn’t allow it. He said we couldn’t break the rules of today’s challenge,” Li Jin replied, eating slowly and gracefully.

“I told you we should have knocked her out with a steamed bun while she was announcing the scores! Now she’s vanished again! It’s all your fault,” Ke Wenxin grumbled, pinching the flabby part of Li Jin’s elbow.

Li Jin felt helpless as his girlfriend repeatedly teetered on the brink of quitting the entertainment industry after joining this variety show. He leaned his head against her shoulder, sighing.

“Oh dear, what’s wrong? Is your gland acting up again?” Ke Wenxin carefully checked Li Jin’s suppression patch and found it slightly damp. “Looks like our little one is missing Mommy. A Jin, do you miss Mom—mhm?!”

Li Jin frantically covered her mouth, his fair face flushing crimson.

Ke Wenxin’s eyes crinkled into crescents as she puckered her lips and kissed his palm.

Li Jin: “!!!”

He swiftly withdrew his hand, glancing around awkwardly, trying to find something to do.

“A Jin~ Are you full?”

Li Jin nodded, his face growing even redder.

“Then let’s go!” Ke Wenxin tugged him upstairs. “We can’t let our little one go hungry. We’ll get up early tomorrow and finish this quickly! Yan He, I’ll leave your little fan by the door. Grab it later!”

Yan He remained silent, burying her face in her food.

Li Jin had a midnight snack waiting for him, but she didn’t.

Eat more, eat more. It’s so delicious.

He Jiamu & Du Yihan: “……”

Mu Xu: “……”

Zhou Yunuo: “You’re full already? I’ll take that fish head then.”

After putting away the dishes, Qi Xingwan emerged from the kitchen to find two people missing. “Where did they go?”

He Jiamu: “They went back to their rooms to rest.”

Zhou Yunuo: “They went to soothe the baby.”

Yan He: “They went to do it.”

Eldest Miss, please stop! I can’t even bear to listen to you say that. Shaking in fear.jpg

Ahhh, my OTP is doing it again! What about yours?

Director Han is bewildered. This is too much for an old lady! Hahaha!

Director Han: “I’m only 33, damn it!”

Sister Zhou is still munching on that fish head…

He Jiamu stared at Yan He, utterly confused.

Zhou Yunuo continued eating her fish head while glancing at Yan He.

Qi Xingwan raised an eyebrow, silently observing Yan He’s expression.

It was strange. There was no shame, nor any anger.

She didn’t seem to have connected this to her own… inability.

Could someone really move on from something like that so quickly?

“Zhou Yunuo, the fish tail is mine! You already have the head!”

“Nyah, if it’s in my bowl, it’s mine~”

“Aaaargh! You’re driving me mad!” Yan He raged in impotent fury.

Qi Xingwan: “……”

So there was anger after all.

Mission: Help Qi Xingwan scrub her back.

Yan He, who was lying on the sofa playing a fishing game, jumped in surprise, nearly dropping her handheld console.

Wait a minute… I might be a little nearsighted from playing too much…

Attention: This is the Female Lead’s first calculable favor-based daily mission, still in the exploratory phase. Please exert your utmost effort to complete it, allowing the System to gather data and customize a safer and more reliable strategy for the Host.

Exert my utmost effort?

You mean I should shamelessly act like a pervert and then withstand the Lord Female Lead’s full-force attack?

Friend, if you want my life, just ask directly. I’m not one to refuse, but… how should I put this… have you ever heard this line of poetry?

“Though my bones may shatter and my flesh be torn, I shall preserve my integrity in this world!”

You want to collect data, but what about my reputation?

Is that just supposed to vanish?

Furious, Yan He flipped over and started doing sit-ups.  Xiao Qi, Xiao Qi! Get out here! Look at your colleague—it’s completely insane! Is there no oversight? No justice in this world?!

007 calmly changed into his work uniform.  We’re not human; we’re Systems.

Yan He:  ?! Do you think you’re being funny?!

007:  The newbie manual I borrowed from my colleague next door says that appropriate humor can help bridge the gap with mission targets and ease tension. It seems they bought a pirated copy.

Yan He:  Why are you even studying this stuff?

Yan He:  Xiao Qi, don’t tell me you’ve fallen for me?!

Yan He:  No way! Absolutely not! I refuse to accept a human-System romance!

Yan He:  Don’t waste your time on me. Focus on your work, save money, and find a System to live a good life with. That’s far better than anything else.

007 glitched into scrambled code again, taking several minutes to gradually regain composure.  Host, if you could channel this confidence toward the Female Lead, you’d have maxed out the progress bar by now. According to my analysis, Qi Xingwan’s recent fluctuations in favorability toward you have been erratic. She’ll gain favorability points one moment, then immediately lose them the next. I’ve simply turned off the notification sounds.

Yan He:  So your colleague sent me on a mission to seduce her?!

007: …It’s about performing. We’re a legitimate department, please maintain professionalism.

Yan He: But I don’t know how to do that! Aaaah!

007’s data flickered. My apologies, that was its mistake. I’ll play a video for you now: “Quick Start Guide to Body Scrubbing Techniques.”

Yan He closed her eyes, focusing intently as she tried to learn the skill by observing.

Zhou Yunuo sat on the bed, witnessing Yan He’s entire bizarre episode.

When Yan He finally calmed down, assuming a meditative posture like an enlightened monk, Zhou Yunuo opened her browser and searched: sudden demonic possession symptoms, if a friend is possessed, should I call a Taoist priest or take them to the hospital first?, is demonic possession contagious?, what’s the mortality rate of demonic possession?

After a while, she got distracted by suggested articles.

In just a few minutes, she diagnosed herself with over ten incurable diseases.

Just as water boils at 100 degrees, humans die at 100 degrees.

Zhou Yunuo put down her phone and returned to reality.

Even while still shaken, she wondered why she had been searching for such random illnesses online.

Why was that?

Strange, it felt like she had forgotten something…

At that moment, an excited “Yes!” reached her ears.

Immediately afterward, she saw Yan He sneaking over and crouching down in front of Qi Xingwan.

Zhou Yunuo thought to herself, If Yan He were a puppy, her tail would be wagging furiously.

“Qi Xingwan, I need your help with something,” Yan He said, trying to sound as sincere as possible to avoid being mistaken for a pervert by the Lord Female Lead.

Qi Xingwan put down her phone and sighed, “You downloaded a new game?”

“It’s not a game… Uh, would you… mind…”

Seeing Yan He’s stammering, Qi Xingwan understood.

“The sofa’s uncomfortable? You want to sleep in the bed?”

“No…”

Puzzled, Qi Xingwan sat up straight and asked, “Then what do you want?”

“I want to… give you a back rub.”

The words “back rub” were spoken so softly that Qi Xingwan didn’t even hear them.

“Give me what?”

Yan He, looking both innocent and desperate, repeated the words, “A back rub.”

Qi Xingwan: “???”

Zhou Yunuo: “?! Holy sh1t, you two really don’t treat me like an outsider, huh?!”