You Are Gentle, But You Don’t Love Me - Chapter 53

Once again, the empty room.

Juliet Calliari slept soundly, unaware that Cassio had gently placed his hand on her forehead, watching her.

‘No fever…’

It was a relief. She appeared to be truly asleep, not caught in the same dream he had had. Only then did Cassio feel at ease and slowly make his way to the window. As he opened it, the night air, still warm, rushed in.

Yet, Cassio paid it no mind and opened the window wider. Outside, the brilliant blue moonlight shone, just as it had in the hallucinations that had accompanied the end of the long war, the gunfire that had shattered his shoulder.

― Come back safely… to Sardinia.

After being shot and falling unconscious, Cassio Bellanea had been unable to wake for a long time. The physician had said, looking at his pale face and the feverish heat, that he would never survive.

But eventually, he opened his eyes again. Only after seeing a long, beautiful dream had he returned to the waking world.

― I will be waiting…

What should one call that?

The hallucinations brought on by the countless medications poured into his body to ease the fever? Or perhaps a dream borne from a body teetering on the edge of life and death? A beautiful illusion, an impossible miracle that could never come true.

Or perhaps a revelation.

Or a memory.

A memory that he should never have had, yet one that came flooding back from days long past.

“Is it a blessing or a curse…?”

Only after learning all of this did Cassio return. Under the pouring sunlight, in the early summer air, with a faint scent of flowers carried by the breeze, he set foot in Sardinia.

A season he had never experienced before, a place he had only stayed in for five days and five nights. To call this ‘returning’ might sound somewhat ridiculous.

But truly, the place he had returned to was this small, peaceful land. A beautiful island that felt like an illusion.

…It was by Juliet Calliari’s side. That was the only place he was allowed to be.

“Ah.”

Such misfortune.

How cruel the Lord is. After returning Cassio to her side, He showed her the same dream, the same memory. He revealed the future that had already disappeared.

Thus, it is a misfortune. Because Juliet Calliari could never love him once she knew everything.

No matter how kind she might be, she could never love the one who had pushed her into the cold, blue sea. She could never love the one who had caused her death, nor the one who would bring it upon her again.

Yet, in the end, he still hoped. Juliet Calliari was always far kinder than he could imagine.

＊ ＊ ＊

As if emerging from water, Juliet Calliari awoke.

It was the faint light of dawn. The light from beyond the distant horizon slowly rose into the sky, though the sun had not yet risen, and the air shimmered with a blue hue.

“…”

Juliet Calliari blinked in confusion before turning her gaze toward the window. It was as though she already knew who stood there.

“Ah.”

Only then did she realize. Cassio Bellanea was indeed there.

Leaning against the window, he wasn’t looking out at the view. The dim light cast a shadow across his face, obscuring his expression. Yet, Juliet Calliari knew exactly where his gaze was directed.

Cassio was looking at her. His pale green eyes, hidden in the shadow, were unerringly focused on her, and she found herself taken aback by the intensity of his gaze.

“…Duke?”

“Hello, Juliet Calliari.”

Only then did Juliet Calliari realize where she was.

It was Cassio’s bedroom. A place she had visited only a couple of times. Yet, it seemed familiar because the furniture was exactly like the ones in her own room.

At the same time, it felt somewhat unfamiliar. Unlike her own room, which had dried flowers, scented sachets, half-read books, and tossed blankets scattered about, this room was nearly empty.

There were no disordered corners, no small personal items. Everything was arranged neatly in his space, and the early morning light that filled the room made the emptiness stand out even more.

‘But… why am I here?’

Juliet Calliari paused for a moment, but she couldn’t figure it out.

‘I feel like I had a dream.’

But the details of it wouldn’t come to her. It was as though the memory had been forcibly erased.

Only her heavy eyelids felt strangely weighty.

“Um… Duke.”

“Juliet Calliari.”

They spoke at the same time. Cassio, as usual, wore a somewhat uncomfortable expression, but still, Juliet Calliari couldn’t see his face clearly. Unconsciously, she closed her mouth.

“I would like to say it first, but this time, I’ll speak first.”

And for once, Cassio didn’t let her speak.

“…Yes?”

“Would you like to take a walk with me?”

It was an unexpected request. Juliet Calliari blinked her heavy eyes and silently stared at his face. Just before dawn, the room had become slightly brighter.

Yet, the face of the person facing the light cast a deeper shadow.

“Do you not want to?”

Even so, Cassio’s voice asking the question was gentle and cautious, almost with a tinge of sadness.

“No.”

“…”

“Let’s go for a walk.”

His voice reassured Juliet Calliari.

It was the same Cassio Bellanea she knew. Strangely gentle with her. The man she loved. Before she could even question why she was lying in his bed, Juliet Calliari followed him without hesitation.

By the time they stepped outside, the sun had already risen. After getting off Cassio’s bed, she noticed that one slipper was missing, making her unsure of how everything had come to be.

She had no idea what was happening, but before she could resolve her confusion, Cassio had suddenly picked her up and started walking. Surprised, Juliet Calliari was too flustered to ask any questions. Her face turned red in an instant, and all she could do was hide her embarrassment.

She was carried to his bedroom, and after he had gathered her slippers, robe, and other things, Juliet Calliari was finally able to walk on her own. As she stepped out, the soft carpet underfoot gave way to the bright sunlight, which made her squint.

Perhaps Cassio was used to this now. Habitually, he led Juliet Calliari to the garden.

“…”

“…”

Juliet Calliari sneaked a glance at him as they walked side by side. The face revealed by the light was as it always was. Astonishingly beautiful, his profile.

His sharp eyes quickly noticed her gaze and turned back toward her.

Their eyes met, and his brows slightly furrowed. He appeared a bit embarrassed, wrinkling his nose for a moment before breaking into a soft smile. A gentle expression that had been there since before.

“Juliet.”

“…”

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

You’re too beautiful, she wanted to say. But it was not something she could say aloud. Juliet Calliari bit her lower lip and quickly lowered her head. The air was still cool in the early morning, yet her ears were already burning with heat.

“It’s nothing…”

The delayed response made Cassio laugh softly. His laughter seemed to read her mind, and Juliet Calliari became even more embarrassed. A quiet stillness descended between the two as they walked side by side, like a breeze passing between them.

Amidst the silence, the faint sound of water flowing reached their ears. Before them, a fountain appeared—one they had both visited before, where Juliet Calliari had once dipped her hands, and where Cassio had done the same.

Only then did Juliet Calliari remember something she had forgotten all along.

“Um.”

“Hmm?”

His response, as if he had been waiting, made Juliet Calliari shrink back a little. But Cassio stopped in his tracks and turned to look at her, as though he had been waiting for her to speak.

“I…”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t remember why I was in your bedroom…”

But once again, silence fell.

Cassio was silent for a moment, maybe longer. Then he finally turned back to her with a slightly perplexed expression.

“You don’t remember?”

“…No.”

“Not at all?”

Juliet Calliari hesitated but nodded. She truly didn’t remember.

His pale green eyes stared at her with a look that made her feel as though she had done something terribly wrong. She didn’t even know what she had forgotten.

Cassio looked so pained that she felt it deeply.

“Nothing happened.”

“Pardon?”

But he soon smiled again. He then gently took her hand in his, his fingers brushing over the edges of hers before intertwining them.

“Nothing happened.”

He added that and began walking again, as though nothing had happened at all. Like water flowing smoothly, Juliet Calliari was pulled along, her hand in his, as they passed the fountain and moved deeper into the garden.

“…Juliet?”

It was Juliet Calliari who stopped, and Cassio turned back with a puzzled expression, as if he didn’t understand why she had stopped walking.

“Lying.”

“…”

“Why are you lying?”

“Lying about what?”

His gaze, still smiling, studied her carefully, as if worried she might remember something—or perhaps, hoping she would. His fingers, still holding hers, seemed to tremble with a quiet urgency. The feeling of his hand gripping hers tightly conveyed a mix of emotions: a desire to hide something from her, yet a hope that she would understand. Conflicting emotions vibrated through their touch, pulsing softly.

They stood beneath a lime tree. Though the branches bore no fruit yet, the air was tinged with a sour scent. The sound of fallen leaves crunching underfoot reached her ears.

“Something did happen, didn’t it?”

Juliet Calliari whispered as she stepped closer to Cassio. Somewhere in the distance, a bird chirped.

“I… did something to you, didn’t I?”

Her voice became so soft it seemed as if she didn’t want even the birds to hear it.

“Juliet.”

“Did I… Did I do something to you…?”