I've Suffered for Five Years, Now It's Your Turn. ~The Crown Princess Has No Intention of Forgiving~ - Episode 29

While watching Rosaline being judged, it became my turn to step forward… and I moved ahead.
Just before stepping onto the tribunal stage, memories from the past flashed through my mind.

“Lord Ryug, I am Camilla, who will begin Queen training from today. Please take care of me.”

Ryug… yes, long ago, I used to call King Harvin properly by his name.

I had been chosen as a political bride and came to the palace to begin my queen’s education.
I remembered my nervous but fresh greeting when meeting my future husband for the first time.
He smiled at me kindly and welcomed me warmly.

“Camilla, I’m counting on you. I want you to stand by me as my partner in ruling the kingdom.”

He took my hand, knelt on one knee, and kissed the back of my hand.
I fell in love at first sight with Ryug Harvin’s mannerisms, his face, his attitude, and his kindness.

“I’m happy to be your partner.”

I expressed my feelings honestly.
I hid nothing in my heart—I truly loved the man I became the partner of.

Politics didn’t matter; now, as queen, I could walk alongside the man I loved.
What a fulfilling life… there was no greater happiness than this.

“This is thanks to the efforts I’ve made. I worked hard to become queen, so I believe God granted me happiness.”

My pride was full.
The status of queen was something I earned through my own hard work.
Being beside the one I loved, I always stayed by his side.

“Ryug, would you like some tea today?”

“Sorry, I’m busy with state affairs. Father has fallen ill, and the coronation is coming soon…”

“But as the queen, you should have time with me too… You can’t neglect time with your beloved partner.”

“If you think so, I’d appreciate your help with state affairs.”

“No, I don’t think it’s good for you to take on too much of my duties. It wouldn’t be good for you either.”

Yes, I thought my job was to be there for him… to be his emotional support.
That was the duty of a queen.

My beloved, now the king, had to be able to carry out his role without relying on anyone else.
It was painful, but perhaps that was also part of being a queen—helping him grow.

“Um… Camilla, maybe you shouldn’t put too much burden on King Harvin and try to help him instead?”

One day, months after the coronation and becoming queen, my maid said this as I was putting on a new dress I had bought.
Even though I had made myself beautiful for him, her words felt like a wet blanket.

“Would you please keep your opinions to yourself, maid? I am queen… I only want him to have the skills worthy of a king.”

“…But—”

“Is helping with state affairs the queen’s duty? I’m by his side, supporting him as queen, strengthening his influence by mingling with nobles and the people.”

“I understand that, but… the king is so busy he looks like he might collapse…”

“Enough. I go to society events to gather noble support. Are you questioning how I support him? You’re just a maid, it’s presumptuous.”

Ignoring her, I headed to the social gathering.
As queen, I had to gather support for the king from the nobles.

Besides, the maid was wrong.
I was building a solid backing for him as queen.

Six months later, I gave birth to our child safely.
Everyone celebrated as I gave birth to Erik, our heir.
I was at the peak of happiness.

“Hehe, Erik… my child with him…”

I thought I had done my duty as queen well, and I believed he would be grateful too.
But…

“What… is this?”

One day, I discovered the man I loved had invited my maid to his room.

I felt everything trampled underfoot.
But my anger never healed, and the royal family quickly took care of the problem… that maid was eliminated.
They erased the scandal and pretended no forbidden love had ever happened.

However, one proof of his infidelity remained.
That man’s only child he couldn’t cut ties with.

“I’m sorry, Camilla… that mistress was pregnant. She’s still young; I didn’t want her killed. Please forgive her.”

His apology made me sick.
I couldn’t punish the affair, I was betrayed by the man I loved… and hurt even more.

I couldn’t forgive him, could I?
So I decided to take revenge.

“All right, Harvin. That child will be mine.”

“Is that… really okay?”

“Yes, but Erik will be king… I will decide everything about that mistress’s child. Don’t interfere with what I do with that child.”

“…Understood.”

Somehow, I stopped calling him “Ryug” by name and started calling him “Harvin” coldly.
I realized there was no love left for me in the man who pleaded to keep the child of the mistress he loved.

That’s why I made the child mine—all for revenge.
Harvin, the child of the mistress you loved will stay with me… despised forever, suffering far below Erik.

“Luans, you will live miserably beneath Erik forever.”

The plan succeeded… but why?
The hole in my heart keeps aching.
Why, why?

Can’t I give up on my love for Harvin?
It hurts so much.

“All… it’s all Harvin’s fault.”

At the tribunal, as I was being questioned, I muttered those words.
Filled with anger, I shouted at him sitting in the chair next to me, ready to be questioned.

“You abandoned me and loved the mistress… and yet I couldn’t give up. To fill my heart, I…”

“So that’s why you built a forbidden relationship with the count’s family?”

The one questioning me at the tribunal was none other than Filia.
She held the same title of “Consort,” but stood in a very different position from me.
And she asked me:

“To hide that relationship, you conspired with Erik to pretend you couldn’t have children. Do you understand how serious that sin is?”

Noble voices, supporting Filia, pierced me with blame.
Even though I had fulfilled my duties as queen…

What had I done wrong? Where had I gone astray?
I knew everything.

“Yes, that’s right. I hated Harvin, despised him, yet I couldn’t give up the hope of being loved by him… and so I sinned.”

Hey, Filia…
How did you manage to live, having abandoned Erik?

I couldn’t give up.
I couldn’t fill the hole left by losing the love I sought, and it’s been so painful.

“This is outrageous—behavior unbefitting a queen.”
“It’s disgraceful. I can’t believe this is the queen of our country.”

“Shut up, shut up… Harvin is the one who made me lose my mind. It’s your fault!”

Ah, why? Why?
I should have been worthy of being queen—I worked harder than anyone else.
Harvin… I still can’t forgive you.

So…

“Judge me as you like. I’ll accept the harshest punishment. But… Harvin must be punished too! Make him pay for the crime of driving me mad!”

I shouted through tears that wouldn’t stop, amidst the jeers of nobles and the crowd.
Hey… since when did I become this miserable?

“I know I have no right to say this… but please, Filia.”

All this distortion still comes back to Harvin.

I still love you—but I won’t forgive you.
So, you’ll fall with me.