I've Suffered for Five Years, Now It's Your Turn. ~The Crown Princess Has No Intention of Forgiving~ - Episode 31

I stood at the inquiry hearing, and the eyes of the people and nobles pierced into me.

“Erik… it’s finally your turn.”

Filia’s words made regret swell in my chest. Regret for ending up here.

How did things turn out like this?

What went wrong? Why did I choose to hurt Filia?

I thought back to the past once more.

When I was a child, I was always under the strict gaze and high expectations of my mother, Camilla.

She drilled it into me again and again: as the next king, I couldn’t afford a single mistake.

The biggest issue was my younger brother, Luans.

Mother constantly told me that I could never, ever be surpassed by him.

Those words were etched into me from an early age, and my way of thinking became rigid—like iron.

“I heard you made a mistake in your studies recently.”
“You’re the crown prince. You must never do anything so disgraceful as to lose to your younger brother.”

Every day, without exception.

Even the smallest slip-up was unforgivable. It was a life of pressure and loneliness, with no room for my own will. I was just expected to produce results as the crown prince.

And yet…

“Luans’ grades are starting to surpass yours. I’ve changed your tutor… do whatever it takes not to lose.”
“You absolutely cannot lose to that brother of yours! You are my son!”

Even Luans, from my perspective, was being treated harshly by our mother.

And still, he produced results—his grades rivaled mine, he was clever and capable.

Each time, our mother grew angrier and tightened her grip on me.

I was worn out from it all. But then, something changed.

“Lord Erik, I’ve come from the Kingdom of Sylvan. My name is Filia. I look forward to our time together.”

Through a political marriage, I was engaged to Filia, a noble and beautiful princess from a neighboring kingdom.

When I met her for the first time, her gentle smile and calm eyes felt like a light cutting through the years of pressure.

With her, I felt I could dream of a future with the kind of kingship I had always wished for.

For the first time, I saw a path that wasn’t just another role assigned to me by my mother—but one I could walk with my chosen partner.

But then—

“Prince Erik, I’m sorry to say this… but your body—”

Shortly after we were married, fate struck me with a cruel truth.

The doctor’s diagnosis made it clear—I couldn’t have children.

And echoing in my head were my mother’s words:
“Be perfect as the crown prince.”

Because of me, we couldn’t have an heir.

As someone who carried the future of the kingdom, producing an heir was essential.

And this undeniable failure… the mindset my mother had drilled into me told me I couldn’t admit the truth.

“So, Filia… I had the doctor lie and say you couldn’t bear children.”

That was the truth I finally revealed at the inquiry hearing. As I spoke from the heart, gasps and angry murmurs rose from the audience.

Still, I continued.

“I chose to hide the truth. Out of fear for the kingdom’s future, I told a cruel lie to Filia.”

I knew exactly how cruel it was.

I made her believe she was the one who couldn’t bear children, silenced her with that lie, and crushed her will to resist.

It was as if the darkness in my heart had taken form in every one of my actions.

I betrayed the partner I had sworn to spend my life with. I acted selfishly, only thinking of protecting myself.

But at the time… that was all I had.

“I… I had to be perfect as a king. That’s what was expected of me. So no matter what it took… I had to hide the truth.”

“Do you have any idea what I felt these past five years?”

“…”

“How much I suffered, how deeply I grieved… how painful it was? Do you even understand?”

I had no words to answer her.

Because I knew I was guilty, and guilt soaked through me like water.

“…It was all caused by my own pathetic way of thinking.”

“My five years… were violated by your selfishness.”

“…I’m sorry.”

That this inquiry had been set in motion by Filia herself… felt like fate.

A weak heart, a shameful decision—this was the price I had to pay.

Now that I stood here, I had no intention of defending myself. I would accept whatever condemnation came.

“I’m sorry… I truly am.”

I dropped to my knees, tears falling as I confessed my foolishness.

How pathetic I had been. I’d gotten everything wrong.

And now that I’d finally spoken the truth, I understood:

I was no different from my father or mother.

I let my inner weakness win. I committed a grave sin. I hurt a woman for five years.

“I’m sorry, Filia…”

“No apology will ever erase the five years of torment you put me through.”

“…”

“And more than anything, the fact that you never trusted me… that you degraded me… I no longer have any love left for you.”

“!”

Ah… I see now.

This was the greatest sin I had committed.

I lived to meet my mother Camilla’s expectations. I bore the crushing weight of the crown prince’s responsibilities, terrified of making a single mistake.

And when I learned I couldn’t have children… I hid it.

But more than anything, I failed to trust the one person who had vowed to be by my side—Filia.

“You didn’t trust your own wife, and you mistreated me. There’s nothing left to expect from you anymore.”

What I should have done—what would have been best for me as the crown prince—was something entirely different.

Even under pressure, I should’ve had the strength to trust her.

I should have told Filia the truth and faced the future of the kingdom together.

“I’ve been holding off, but now… let me say it clearly.”

“…Filia.”

“Erik, I’m divorcing you here and now. Just as you once wished.”

I had once asked her for a divorce, and she had refused. But now, she accepted it.

Because to her, I wasn’t even worth taking revenge on anymore.

I had become someone not even worth being with.

“Filia… I… I…”

I was wrong.

I had been wrong from the beginning.

I should have trusted the woman who had promised to stay by my side.

Filia had been there for me these past five years, always supporting me… and I—

“No matter what you say, I will never forgive you.”

I had been abandoned even by the one I should have loved.